Girls, Friends first... Can you help me solve the biggest dating mystery of my life? What does she want or see in me? I don't know what to do anymore?

Anonymous

I met a girl while going out. First time she started the conversation, not me. We instantly clicked and had huge fun every time we met. She was flirting with me sometimes but also flirted with other guys. I took her on a date but nothing happened, which was my fault. She told me she wanted to be friends first before committing to something serious. And that she never had a serious boyfriend. On another date I went for the kiss but she rejected me. I was very hurt and sad. After some unimportant interactions I decided it was better to cut ties and I broke contact. After some months she came to me and told me in a friendly tone "if I think that she doesn't recognize if I unfollow her". We had a lot of fun again. I wanted to go further again and she said just friends again. I told her that I have no interest in staying "just friends" and broke contact again. Months after that she saw me while going out and I had like 5 beautiful girls around me. She looked very sad and I said hi to her. She didn't say much, and was pretty drunk. I wanted to call a taxi for her and suddenly I couldn't find her anymore. I searched her, found her, and told her to not go missing when she's drunk and alone "because even if we are not doing things together anymore, you'll never be indifferent to me". She kissed me passionately. Her friends came and she wanted to go home with them. We started doing things again and had great fun. I tried it again and nope, still friends, still not more. I wished her the best and broke contact again to finally let go of her. Months after that she reached out to me and I said yes in a weak moment. We drank too much, and I said something really stupid. "That we should have sex already". She looked sad and later made out with a dude so I could see it clearly. I texted her nasty sh*t and apologized the next day. Months later I met her again while going out and she said, almost crying, "I'm not a wh*re" and we made out. Now again "just friends". Wtf does she want?

Updates
9 mo
Update: This whole story goes over a timespan of almost 5 years. Now I'm 28 and she's 22. So she was pretty young when we first met.
Updates
9 mo
Update: She has nearly no male friends that she spends time with regularly. And in the no-contact-phases she dated other guys, which all don't have anything to do with her anymore as far as I know or even have other girlfriends now.
Girls, Friends first... Can you help me solve the biggest dating mystery of my life? What does she want or see in me? I don't know what to do anymore?
5 Opinion