Girl I'm dating doesn't know what she wants?

[bksboy]

I've been dating this girl for about 6 months and thought everything was going well, then she started acting weird like she didn't want to she didn't want to hangout with me or enjoyed my company, or even kiss me. I eventually got tired of it and asked her what was going on, she tells me I didn't do anything but it doesn't feel like we're dating and when we go out if feels like were just friends. She claims she likes me but doesn't know what she wants. I really like this girl how can I get her to feel like more than a friend. Any suggestions please know what she wants. I really like know what she wants. I really like this girl how can I get her to feel like more than a friend. Any suggestions please like more than a friend. Any suggestions please suggestions please

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

Ok your not going to like this at all but you need to listen, I understand you like this girl BUT that's not the problem, its that SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU ANYMORE.. remember that and remind yourself of that fact..

The problem for you is you got lazy with this girl, you stopped making an effort with her and all you did was "Hang Out", there is no quicker way to kill romance and affection that spending to much time with each other..

So what do you do now.. well you walk away, its that simple, she's not interested in you and remember its the fact you spent TO MUCH TIME WITH HER that caused the problem.. so you walk away and DONT contact her and I mean AT ALL..

Now here's the hard part.. when she calls you.. ahem ..let me rephrase... IF she calls you and she asks you out you need to say this to her..

"Hey, yea I'm good. listen I can't talk long my dates here, but we should catch up some time.. bye"

and that's it, don't call her again and ignore her efforts to contact you.. WHY I hear you scream.. well becouse you have a situation with this girl where you will always be second guesing each other and this does not a healthy relationship make..

So learn from this brother, learn well..

Good Luck

-Chris

[bksboy]

I appreciate your advice Chris, that's the reason for me being on this site, however, if it was any other woman I'd take your advice and never look back, but this is one woman I have to see if it can work out, even if I end up losing her in the end, at least I'd know I tried

[Elcristoph]

Hello,

Listen to what she told you, she said she feels like your just a freind, I'm sorry brother but it looks like youve already lost her.. Like I said the BEST way to see if she likes you is to get her to chase you.. to do this you need to disapear.. if she wants you beck she will go to you, if not then she's lost interest.. I'm not kidding this is the BEST way forward..

[eskimo]

OK I went through the exact same thing except my ex broke up with me. So you need to be careful of your next steps.

The reason that we broke up is that she doesn't like me anymore. She still cares a lot, like she loves me, but she is not in love with me. The events leading up to that was the same as yours. She doesn't put in the effort to hang out, saying that she is always too tired, etc...

So my advice is similar to Elcristoph. Hang back. Give her some room. Let her think it over. Give her space to MISS you. Find some activities to do while you are going through this rough patch. Don't make yourself too available, because then she would just take you for granted and see you more as a friend. Put the tension back in the relationship.

When you do see her again, don't always go back doing the same thing. Go do something exciting and different. But do keep it short and leave it for a while after the date. Let her think about how much fun it is to be with you.

Hope this helps.

[Bubbels]

Hmm, it sounds like she might want some more attention from you in public? I've heard a similar story before and it turned out the girl was just feeling like 'one of the guys' because her boyfriend didn't give her enough credit as his girlfriend in public. She may just want to be 'shown off' so that everyone can tell you two are together. It varies with the person, but maybe try being more affectionate towards her in public such as holding her hand, hugging her, putting your arm around her, ect. Hope this helped!

[bksboy]

Do you think I could be the problem, I admit I'm a dull guy and tend to joke around a lot, but I thought this was what attracted her to me, maybe she's grown tired of my act, now I'm not willing to change my whole character but definitely willing to tone it down enough. So could I possibly be the main issue?

[Bubbels]

Well, reading all the other answers and comments it sounds like she just honestly doesn't know what she wants. That's something you guys will have to work out together; be open with her, don't be afraid to talk about it and most importantly try to figure things out TOGETHER. Try to help her understand how she feels and why she's suddenly second-guessing her feelings for you and let her know she doesn't have to figure this out on her own; letting her know she's not alone will help tremendously.

[Bubbels]

To answer your question directly, it is possible that she's just falling out of love with you. She may just be realizing you're better suited for the 'friend' category; if so, there's not much you can do about it. Being more romantic may help but it'll only last for so long, and if it's an act then she's not falling in love with you, she's falling in love with the act you're putting on for her. You'll just have to see how this plays out, it might be tough, just remember you're in this together.

[Tamikaze]

Sorry, but that has to come from her. Sounds like she likes you and wishes that romance was in the air, but it isn't.

[bksboy]

How do I spice things up at least, cause I thought everything was going well and wouldn't you want to date someone you feel comfortable enough to call a friend? I'm a bit confused.

[Tamikaze]

Doesn't sound like you can spice things up. If you could, she would have told you what was wrong. Again, sounds like you are friend material to her and I have never found out a secret that turns a friend into a romantic partner, especially not after 6 months.

[bksboy]

Well we've been dating for six month not friend, but she says she's starting to feel maybe where better off just friends, so I looked her in her eyes and said so tell if you really just want to be friends, I don't know if I can do that, but let me know, and she just said I don't know I can't answer that

[Tamikaze]

Well, if her treatment of you does not work for you, then you need to consider if she is someone you should be with. You are who you are and it is not like she told you something concrete you are doing that seems reasonable to change. She cannot explain it. But, you can look at her attitude and behavior and consider whether this is what you want. Good luck!