GIRLS before I lose my mind... I can't figure her out

[hostkeep1]

So someone who I consider my really good friend texts me and says that she just got dumped by her boyfriend on a Friday. So I'm like uh ok let's try and get trough this. That's at like 2pm. We don't talk the whole day and then she calls me at 8pm. I can't understand her for the first 5 minutes bc she's crying so hard. We work it through over the course of an hour and I tell her that I love her. I clarify that by love I mean I would be willing to do anything for her. She says "yeah me too."

And now after talking with me she truly believes it's gonna work out in the end and she can move on. At the end she says she'll call me tomorrow. So tomorrow comes and no call so I text her. She says "hey!! I'm about to go to dinner. I'll call you later. Have fun this weekend. xoxo" No call. I text her... nothing since Saturday (it's Tuesday now). I haven't called her yet just texted her like,"hey what's up. Let me know how you are. I'm worried about you." Still nothing. WHY? Should I call her? She said she'd call me. I don't want to seem pushy but...I do care about her but not a boyfriend care, a loving friend care and she knows it.

UPDATE:

So I called her and we talked till my battery in my phone literally died on us. then I let it recharge and she had called me and texted me so I called her and we talked for another 2 hours. so...but she kept asking me if she should hook up with other guys to get over her boyfriend and was trying to get me hook her up with my friends. Whats with that?!

[rainydaydreamaway]

I'm hoping this helps you understand her... or women in general.

I have a really close guy friend who I notsosecretly crush on. I tell him everything and he is so patient, so understanding, so perceptive, so good about keeping my secrets, and so RIGHT ON THE MARK in his feedback to me. He is not afraid to tell me when I screwup or am not thinking straight. I wish he were single so we could see if things could work out for us and he's confided in me that he does too. (He's in the process of a divorce.)

This makes it very confusing when I do confide in him when I am at the dead end of yet another relationship attempt with someone and hurt, frustrated, etc. He and I have exchanged friendship love statements once or twice. Also, I feel bad that I lean on him a lot, but a lot of times, it gets hard to know if I am thinking clearly anymore until I run it past him and get his perspective. But he is always there for me and says he never minds. I don't do as good of a job keeping in touch with him as I think I should, but all his messages require me to think A LOT, LOL, and sometimes after a break-up, I'm not in any kind of condition to do that! He is also not afraid to tell me "I told you so" and has even said he knows that's why I don't reply right away! LOL, He's scary right about me!

Maybe this is where the 2 of you are. You wouldn't be asking if you didn't have some feelings for her beyond friendship, and I can guarantee she has some for you. Right after the breakup might not be the best time to take advantage of her vulnerability, but jokingly letting her know you're notsosecretly glad she's single again is not a bad idea. Once she is feeling a little better and thinking more clearly, make a move, but don;t wait till she moves on to another guy!

If you are single, and if you are into her, she is a very very lucky girl! Just remember if anything develops between the 2 of you, to always treat her like the great guy you are to her now.

[marisa]

I would give her a few days to sort through some feelings. She may be embarassed that she fell apart on you or she may still be sad and upset and trying to hide it until she feels a little better because she knows you do care very much and she doesn't want you to worry. OR she may be a little selfish and will reach out to you when she needs you but when she doesn't ( such as being surrounded by other friends) she forgets about the people she left hanging.

I'd give her a few days and then call her. Once the dust settles, you may want to let her know how worried you were and how you wish she'd have just sent you a TXT or quickly called to let you know she was okay. That you are a good friend and it's not fair to leave you in the dark during the tough times. Don't lay that on her yet because it'll just make her feel worse and likely create more distance...but you have every right to point it out in the near future.

Whatever happens, you should be proud of yourself for being the type of person someone else turns to and then having the character to stand on the sidelines when necessary.

**Note, if there is any danger that she'd be depressed or hurt herself, put all "rules" aside and call, go over there, etc.

Good luck!

[Marie099]

You sound just like my best friend... I used to call him and cry about the same shit and then I would ignore him because I was so annoyed by everything that happened. Maybe she's the same way? You should ask her. You don't need to "figure her out" either because over time and more and more situations like this you will get used to it lol just relax... you're a good friend for listening to her. She cries to you because she trusts you and wants you to listen... when she asks you for advice don't be afraid to think about it for awhile before telling her. Good Luck!

[RangersDaft]

It Seems Like She Can't Decide What She Wants.

You Clearly Care About Her A Great Deal And She Is Lucky To Have A Friend Like You

Sometimes Friends Don't Talk Everyday

You Know Who Really Are Your True Friends When You May Not Have Spoke For Months

And Yet You Can Still Call Them And Talk Like It Was Only Yesterday.

Your Friend Sees You As Someone She Can Trust And Loves You A lot As A Friend

Be Happy With Your Friendship

Girls Are Complicated Trust Me I Am One Lol

x

[loveAnsweringOldQS]

I'm hoping this helps you understand her... or women in general.

I have a really close guy friend who I notsosecretly crush on. I tell him everything and he is so patient, so understanding, so perceptive, so good about keeping my secrets, and so RIGHT ON THE MARK in his feedback to me. He is not afraid to tell me when I screwup or am not thinking straight. I wish he were single so we could see if things could work out for us and he's confided in me that he does too. (He's in the process of a divorce.)

This makes it very confusing when I do confide in him when I am at the dead end of yet another relationship attempt with someone and hurt, frustrated, etc. He and I have exchanged friendship love statements once or twice. Also, I feel bad that I lean on him a lot, but a lot of times, it gets hard to know if I am thinking clearly anymore until I run it past him and get his perspective. But he is always there for me and says he never minds. I don't do as good of a job keeping in touch with him as I think I should, but all his messages require me to think A LOT, LOL, and sometimes after a break-up, I'm not in any kind of condition to do that! He is also not afraid to tell me "I told you so" and has even said he knows that's why I don't reply right away! LOL, He's scary right about me!

Maybe this is where the 2 of you are. You wouldn't be asking if you didn't have some feelings for her beyond friendship, and I can guarantee she has some for you. Right after the breakup might not be the best time to take advantage of her vulnerability, but jokingly letting her know you're notsosecretly glad she's single again is not a bad idea. Once she is feeling a little better and thinking more clearly, make a move, but don;t wait till she moves on to another guy!

If you are single, and if you are into her, she is a very very lucky girl! Just remember if anything develops between the 2 of you, to always treat her like the great guy you are to her now.

[patronjuice]

She just sees you as a friend. That's why she was talking about hooking up with other guys and your friends. Frankly, it sounds like you're being WAY too nice.

[Kiara]

It seems like she really is confused. Hooking up with another guy or guys won't help. Just talk to her and most important ask her what's up with her doing that to you. She should have a logical reason.

[rainydaydreamaway]

LMAO @ 'she should have a logical reason'! She does sound really confused! I doubt she knows why she did that & even if she did, would she be able to explain it to him (the question asker) in a way that made sense to him?

Still you're right that he should ask what's up w that. Maybe she got a bit confused with the I love yous since it happened right after her break-up & needed to straighten that out in her head before calling back?

Also, you are right that hooking up with other guys won't help.

[f15x28]

You are infected with the nice guy syndrome.

[rainydaydreamaway]

LOL!

Dear Question Asker:

Did you notice that the guys think you are being too nice but all the girls think you're great and she's lucky to have you. In fact, some of us notsosecretly wish they were with someone like you?

Wait for the right moment and make a move if you are into her.