We've been friends for 4 years.
This girl keeps sending me random signals. When i talk about other girls, she looks different. Last December, we made a secret santa in our friend group and she had to make me a present in about 2 days time: it was in a paper bag with the initial of my name written using a red thread. it was clearly done by her. Then i looked inside, saw a pair of socks and she told me "the real present is not that one". There was, in fact, a pic of us together in front of the Mouth of Truth (just like Hepburn and Peck in that famous Hollywood movie). We had been in Rome together for 1 week months prior, and she even slept on my shoulder when we were on the bus. And that trip to Rome made me realize how special she was to me.
Anyway, I thanked her and told her i really appreciated her gift. A few minutes later, we said goodbye and i could see a sorrowful expression on her face.
Last time we met (about 2 weeks ago), the rest of our friends were drunk and we were at my place. We started talking about random things again and, in particular, about cinema (my passion). She asked me questions, i asked her questions, we laughed and so on. She then told me she could sense i really loved cinema while i was talking about it.
Having all this said, she also gives me signs that make me think she's not into me, and she's very touchy in general with her friends.
Now, i probably know the answer is going to be “no”, and i just want to know if i'll be able to forget about her. I'll make it clear that i see our friendship as a walk, and my "love" (i wouldn't call it love, but it's still way more than a simple crush) as a cramp that makes me stop for a bit. i'll tell her to keep walking, to keep thinking about her future and her life, and i'll try to resolve this cramp, to get up again and keep walking with her (i want her in my life, no matter if romantically or not). But I'm very afraid i won't be able to do that, ever.
Please, help me.
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okay- This will not be as weird as you think it will be. She might feel the same was about you. She will most certainly understand. What you are doing is brave but if you do not do it you will have no peace for maybe the rest of your life. That's how it works.
one thing is sure: she'll know.
Another thing is sure: she'll know it from me.
One last thing is sure: she'll know it from me in a few months.
It's life. I want to live, i want to feel, no matter if it's a good or a bad feeling. Living with such a remorse won't be living.
Good luck with this.
Odds are you'll experience this several times in life. It may feel like it will never heal but it will. The old saying as corny as it is-Time heals all wounds- is mostly true. You just think of it less and less until it's a distant memory. Staying friends once one develops feelings rarely ever works. She'll be more cautious around you as to not lead you on, you'll hold out hope that she'll come around. It sucks but is part of the life cycle.
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