Should I see this as an insult or a compliment?

[LovelyBones13]

At work, one of my coworkers (lets call her Lisa) went on pregnancy/maternity leave in February. Me and her get along just fine and she had a beautifull healthy baby.

Lisa is very pretty and even though my job field is not look oriented at all (I woek in the legal field, so looking presentable is fine enough) all my female coworkers were always gushing about how pretty Lisa was. How shiny her hair was, how clear her skin was, how well she was dressed etc. I thought that was very high school. Sure, you can compliment somebody if they look nice, but my other coworkwers gushed over Lisa like she was Beyonce/Taylor Swift.

In the months that Lisa was on leave, I found a better hairdresser and lost some weight so my clothes look a bit nicer now I do not have a gut anymore.

Lisa was supposed to come back to work this week, but issues with her baby caused her to rush home on Monday. She has been working from home since, the baby is fine now thankfully.

Some other coworkers thought that Lisa would be in the office the whole day yesterday. I was sitting in the office with my back to everybody working on a difficult case. So when approaching me, you would see my back/hair only. One of the coworkers came up to me saying "omg Lisa, so nice to have you back. You look great" only for me to turn around. I brushed it off, said that Lisa was not in the office and continued to work.

Later during lunch, another coworker also mistook me for Lisa. I said "if I had a euro for everytime that happend, I had 2 euros, which is not much but odd it happend twice now". They said then that I looked similar to Lisa these days, but like in a discount way but I should take it as an compliment. Thjs also felt very high school and backhanded to me.

Updates

9 mo

I am 27 and the youngest of my team by far. I have worked here now for 2 years, Lisa only 1 but plenty of time to conclude that we are different people who other then being blonde do not look alike. But me being bullied for my looks a lot in high school (I had therapy for it and that worked wonders) still felt somewhat proud that I appearantly looked good enough now to be mistaken for "our local celebrity".

Should I just take it as an compliment? Take it as an insult? Take it up to HR? Talking

[OlderAndWiser]

This reminds me of the story about Gomer Pyle having a blind date arranged for a dance. Gomer was totally inexperienced with women and had no clue how to act or what to say, so he sought advice from Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife. They told him that, whatever happened, he should compliment the girl because ALL girls love to be complimented.

Gomer went to the lady's home and took her to the dance. He had not seen her previously and, somehow, she just happened to weigh at least 250 lbs. Gomer and his date were on the dance floor, and there was an awkward silence between the two of them, and Gomer was obviously trying to think of something to say. Suddenly, the lights went on, everything clicked, and Gomer knew what to say. With the utmost sincerity, he said, "For a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much!"

And, I guess, if she accepted the fact that she was fat, the girl might have felt complimented, but I suspect that her feelings were hurt by hearing that. And I guess knowing that some co-workers compare you favorably to the local gold standard of beauty is a compliment. But it still emphasizes that your co-worker is the gold standard and you are, at best, in second place!

[Bricealan]

Hi "lovely" thank you for asking me for my input, as I am flattered. At 27 you are at a GREAT age to look GREAT! When you stated you lost weight, I was really happy to hear that, as when I came home from Military, I had gained weight at the SAME age. My MD told me to not put on any more weight, and I did not, and LOST a lot, and have stayed that way. I hope and pray that you do that also, as it can only benefit you.

Glad you have set a precedent in your office, with regard to your appearance and your peers that you work with. With what you expressed, I would take it as a compliment. You don't have to compete with the 'local celeb', but do keep in mind that the other LOCALS mistook you for her.

I can identify with you, as I was in much the same mind set as you when I was 27, and was not sure what to do, but just kept on maintaining myself to the best of my ability and the $$$$ I had to do it with.

You will be fine. Push on, and 'stay the course'

Regards,

Bruce

[Lliam]

I'd say, take it as a compliment. You're not in competition with Lisa. They didn't say anything snide or sarcastic, did they?
If she's the feminine ideal to the other women in your office, you must look great. Be proud of yourself.

[CuriousMufuxka]

It sounds made up, like a long overwritten short story.