So I (26 F) have this friend, let’s call her Dana (27F), who’s overall cool to hang with, however she tends to body shame every moment she gets. She’s overweight and super tall ( about 6’2) while I’m short (5’0) and in shape due to me actively competing in sports. In particularly, she comments about my chest size, often calling me flat, (I don’t think I am, I’m a 34 C) and saying that I’m super skinny (again I don’t think so because I lift weights). I told her several times her comments bother me and she would stop for a while but it would kick back up. That brings us to this past weekend. We were all hanging out at a party and we were having fun. Her husband was there and he’s no one really likes him. He mentioned to me how good I looked and considered messing around with me. I walked away annoyed because not only is he gross, but I don’t mess around with my friend’s SO. Later on that night we were all playing drunk taboo and the word on the card was surf board. My team didn’t get the word and as we were laughing at our competitiveness, Dana took the opportunity to say “you should’ve mentioned (my) chest, since she’s flat as board.” I got pissed off with her trying to embarrass me and I responded “instead of constantly body shaming me, take your fat ass to the gym and maybe you want to get to my size, since your man talks about how good I look and is dtf.” She looked shocked, started crying and left the party. The friend group is divided. Half of them laughed and says Dana deserved it because she talks a lot of shit while others say I shouldn’t have mentioned the comment about her man. So AITA?
You were an asshole for mentioning her husband. That's not something you bring up that in that type of way, which made it petty.
However, for calling her fat? No, you told her those types of jokes bothered you and she still continued multiple times. It's fine to shit talk your friends if they're okay with it, but she disrespected your boundary various times. It's all fair game once she's done that (the insults should be about the same topic - not her relationship).
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Yeah it was pretty brutal… but she had it coming. If she’s always making fun of your appearance there is only so much someone can take. Honestly she kinda sounds toxic and her husband telling you that was kinda messed up too.
I don’t understand why you continue to be “friends” with this person. That should stop.
NTA
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