I'm a grown woman. I'm not shy. I know how I can speak and stand up for myself. I'm 100% sure these men (at least the men I know) won't hurt me physically and they are otherwise nice human beings but the way some men walk for example (confidently almost arrogantly) can be enough for me to back off and get out of their way. Is this a valid reaction or should I do something about this?
First, I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I believe it. Your reactions are valid, whether or not you have any trauma is besides the point. Your problem, and your comfort should matter. Before I try to answer this, I would bring this up with a therapist if you're unsure.
I'm not quite a full-blown gynophobe, but I do like to give women (and people in general) a fair bit of distance when I'm around. I walk fast, and I don't walk with grace. If you know me personally, you'll understand I'm quite a coward, or at least harmless.
I have resting bitch face a lot as well, so overall my appearance may be jarring to some people, I get it.
I avoid women that I find too pretty. Even my friends, I'll talk to them for a little bit then make an excuse or something to go do something else before I panic. I try my best to make sure everyone understands I'm only human, and I crave attention and validation to the point I try to please everyone. We're all afraid of something for some reason or another.
If you have any male friends that unintentionally scare you, text them about it and assure them you'll help them figure out how to navigate your boundaries. Friends will usually care to keep their friends happier. It's symbiotic in return.
There's nothing to be done about strangers in public, they're gonna be weird no matter if they intent it or not. Just stay safe. Maybe carry some pepper spray. I have one, but I usually end up giving them to people near me.
I think maybe it’s just the projection of confidence can be intimidating. There may be a lot to be said about male/female social dynamics but that’s a deep rabbit hole with no actual answer - just a lot of opinions. I’d say this, however, spend some time interacting with those men (you said they are nice) and maybe those perceptions will fade. Also, recognize, that perhaps you are reading a lot into a walk. I mean, I get it. A walk can say a lot but just open up to the idea that it’s not really the sum of a person by any stretch of the imagination.
u Well if you are intimidated then that is why you are scared. Fear is what happens when you are intimidated. Well to a certain degree it is. Sounds like you have a defense mechanism at work here. That is your brains reaction to whatever emotions you feel when you meet someone that is confident and intimidating. It doesn't mean that you lack confidence but likely because you perceive them as having more confidence than you do. I had a psych undergrad degree but am in no way licensed or qualified to give a professional opinion. Just my guess.
Take some self-defence classes. Seriously. It isn't about learning to fight as much as it is gaining confidence that if you're wrong and a man does decide to get physically, you'll know what to do.
Other than that, therapy and exposure. Get out more, attend social events, get used to it.
Opinion
13Opinion
Because they’re dominating and intimating. Not meant to be facetious. Actually, I think it’s perfectly natural. Biologically, it’s one of our success strategies to attract girls and fend off other guys. Still, if you’re not afraid for your physical safety (or maybe just a little, but expect you’re being irrational), give a dominant guy a chance. You might find you enjoy and get turned on by being a sub. If not, that’s okay too, but you might have some good, rough sex and get a story to tell your jealous girlfriends 😉
No matter how harmless we men act. Women are always cautious around us. We know we are not hate, but we know we are not trusted.
When Im sitting outside near the side walk girls always go around by 10 feet at least.
I used to be very upset when I was younger.. But we men get used to this kind of behavior.
Actually, only the west is like this.
I lived all over Asia and because women there aren't taught that MEN BAD WOMEN GOOD. Men women near me and other men without any fear or problems.
The main thing if anything happens for example when I was in Thailand. Cops won't show up. But 20 local men would show up in 000.0001 and Muay Thai guy..
more info you can go on:
As a guy who's 6'5" I've never felt physically intimidated by anyone before. But i have been told i have an intimidating presence. I'm soft like cookie dough though. So you can understand it's amusing to me anytime I'm told that. So I have a hard time relating to your question.
Also the guys telling you to grow up, you need to understand. For every 1 woman that exercises caution and uses her head there are 20 women who don't. So while there ARE guys in this world who would emtake advantage of you. They are not the norm.
" ... Why am I scared of nice men who give off dominant and intimidating vibes? "
Because you should. If you meet a nice man but they give you a bad vibe... listen to you feeling... instinct is most of the time right and the man you meet is not ok..
I think you would benefit from professional help. More than just what some rando on the internet (no offense, fellow randos) says, but someone who can really take the time to explore this with you and break down the root causes of it, develop a treatment plan and help you to grow through it. I think you're worth it, so consider it an investment in your future
Because you have a lack of trust within yourself making you feel insecure , Do yourself a favor and don’t allow social media to brainwash you into believing most of the bullshit nonsense that you read or hear about , Social Media was designed as a money making tool , so don’t believe or get wrapped up on most of it , When you put your phone down and look at the world around you you will realize social media means shit , Treat people the way you want to be treated , that’s all we can do
Many self assured confident women do not mix well with men who are 'controlling'.
When they give off those controlling vibes you sense it is all.
You are normal for your profile type... not to worry :)
Trust the vibes girl. Trust the vibes. A lot of predatory self serving people putbhere these days.
So, after mansplaining and manspreading there comes manwalking. Gotcha. 🙄🤦♂️
Sounds like paranoia and contradiction to me. Either a person is nice or dominant (can't be both), and the fear seems unwarranted since you yourself don't even know what you're afraid of.
That’s unusual. I love dominant but nice men, makes me feel more feminine in their presence.
I think it is an invalid reaction but I can't suggest what to do about it.
As a woman we are much weaker than men so its normal to be scared by someone too dominant as if he would attack you you couldn't defend
Because you can’t read a persons mind and it’s Normal to react in a defensive way
Grow up lady.
ok scardy cat
Stop being so shy.
