How much do you care about looking good?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I seem to care a lot to look presentable at all occasions.

Even in an ambulance with a freshly broken leg, I was smiling, genuinely. I tend to care a lot that people around me don’t see me at my worst.

Even when I was at home alone in a cast and could barely move without awful pain, I made sure to dress myself up prettily and put on a make up before going to hospital. It took all my effort and I could barely move my leg afterwards, but I still couldn’t allow myself to look bad. I was looking better than my boss who had a whole day to take care of herself with two legs.

Then the morning after surgery, I put on a make up, got dressed in a pretty dress to look great on a day of discharging from hospital and everyone was telling me I was looking great.

This situation made me see myself in another light. I realized I have wrong priorities, I shouldn’t be caring about people’s impressions on me even when I am injured.

I shouldn’t be trying hard to be liked.

Who cares?

So, I gave myself a new task,

even though I am quite happy and used to being in a spotlight and portraying myself nicely at all occasions, I decided to give myself a task to not do it anymore.

I want to train myself with not being in the spotlight and still feeling fine.

I want to train myself to not put so much value on what people think of me and instead, rely on my own thoughts and beliefs for my confidence and self-esteem,

I want to train myself to learn silence,

Be a little bit more humble.

Okay with not trying to shine all the time, even when my leg is broken and I still smile because I don’t want people to see me in pain.

Generally, I want to disappear for some time and heal my self, physically and emotionally in silence.

So, that maybe if and when I fall again, I’ll still smile, dress myself up and put on a make up, but I’ll smile out of my inner strength, not because of the fear of not looking good enough in people’s eyes.

[love_conquers_lust]

When I was a boy, I was pretty emotional I used to cry a lot when I got hurt. I’d let every little ache and pain bring me to tears. I was also a happy-go-lucky.

But, one day, my father had enough. At baseball practice, I was crying over something that probably wasn’t worth crying over. I can’t recall exactly what happened. But he pulled me aside to severely scold me to stop crying so much.

That was a turning point in my life onto a ‘stoic’ path. I slowly learned to “suck it up” and be “silent”. Every little injury I incurred, I ignored the pain.

Fast forward to when I incurred my permanent injury in high school. I was playing football and was tackled by two people in an awkward position severely injuring me. Instead of seeking medical treatment, I thought it would go away just like all the other minor injuries. I was also fearful of others thinking me to be weak. I thought if I remained silent, I would be fine…until it became chronic.

You shouldn’t silence yourself just to silence yourself, Femme. You shouldn’t be afraid to speak truth. Your voice matters, it needs to be heard. Your opinion matters. You should voice your concerns. That’s what strong women do. Less can be more, sure, but silence can also be violence. There is a balance that must be struck.

When you were in that ambulance, you silenced your true emotions. You were putting on a facade out of fear. I thought that was a strange response. Fear of others seeing you in pain.

When I speak of stoicism, that’s more with anger and depression. It’s about riding out emotional storms until things improve so one doesn’t make rash decisions. Sometimes it’s about focusing on other tasks to distract yourself from physical pain. Letting emotions run their course is healthy. Suppression is not.

Had I sought proper medical care, my life would be completely different. Who knows where I would have ended up.

But because my past led me here, where I had the privilege of meeting the beautiful LaFemmeFatale, I’m not so regretful.

You should smile because you want to, not because people expect you to. It’s true if you find strength in yourself, you won’t have to seek validation from others.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/r5WeAmEVW8o

[spartan55]

It sounds like you take pride in your appearance, which can be for yourself just as much as for others. I've known more than a few women who wouldn't leave the house unless they were fully made up, didn't matter where they were going. Anyway, it's very early here in Texas, and you are making my brain hurt (in a good way). I hope your leg is feeling better and you are recovering well!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you, I had a surgery in the best hospital of Shanghai, made by the best orthopedic surgeon they have here.

The wounds are healing well. I’ll have a surgery follow up doctor visit in a week.

Wound doesn’t look that bad at all, I think the scar won’t be that bad.

I just can’t wait till I can dance in front of the mirror again.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So, I am saying that info about surgery, because I hope since it’s done by such professionals - I will heal soon and well. Thanks for your kind wishes.

[spartan55]

@lafemmefatale_1
Lol... I wasn't thinking you had surgery from some back alley quack... hopefully they gave you some pain medicine.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I haven’t felt pain since the 2nd day of surgery. I was given the medicines but I haven’t used them. The most painful part was when I had my leg broken first 3 days before surgery. After surgery it’s just a discomfort of having wounds and not being able to step on my leg.

[spartan55]

That's great that you haven't needed the pain medication. I had a prescription for hydrocodone after my vasectomy and I didn't end up needing them. I did take one for research/recreational purposes though. Whoa... I was feeling GOOD.

[DizzyDesii]

If its not a date, I’m not going out of my way to look impressive. I just make sure the hygiene is good at all times if nothing else. Other than that, you’d think i just left the bed. I’m not into makeup. And well so i’m left with Jeans, sweats, booty shorts, hoodies, graphic tees, spaghetti strap tanks, crew necks, my hair in a bun and all

[HawkPerception]

You know what's up. Read your comments over many years and honestly you have such an ideal mentality as a girl.

[DizzyDesii]

@HawkPerception haha thank you :)

[TiaraGlitzNeon]

I sadly feel the need to look good all the time (even when I don’t always put effort in, mainly when I’m sick or depressed), because I’ve been bullied heavily for my appearance, but also people always talk shit or make negative assumptions about you and or form negative opinions if you’re “ugly”.

[lightbulb27]

Not really. I focus on feeling good.

[Joshydavid25]

I work out all the time, I freshen up my hairline all the time, I like to get my locs done, and I moisturize.. So suffice to say, I care very much about my looks.. It's worked.. I've gotten all types of compliments over the years. But like you, I have to train myself not to look for validation in how people see me.. I didn't even like to look silly in front of people.. It's slowly but surely breaking down over years.. Nothing wrong with making yourself look presentable and even caring a little bit about how other people see you.. But we gotta learn not to let it consume us to the point where it validates our existence.

[HawkPerception]

Currently I don't have my ideal wardrobe, but I do care to look good whenever I go out anywhere. You're only young once, right? I don't do a ton. I just trim my facial hair, comb my hair and use coconut oil in my hair to prevent frizz and if my skin is dry in some areas, I may use a little olive oil.

Although this isn't what I currently dress like because I don't have my ideal wardrobe as of yet, this is my kind of fashion (of course these dudes can make anything look good because they're models):

[PrinceWalnut]

I do not care at all. Outside of hygiene, I have no concerns. I wear the same boring ugly clothes every day and don't bother shaping my facial error. Being ugly is underrated in my opinion.

I am single however, and this is probably one main reason why.

[Anemone978]

I don't care very much how I look.. besides that my face looks okay, hair is brushed and my clothes are not dirty other then that I could look absolutely meh and not care.. probably because I don't care about others or really even myself..

I suppose it is good you are trying to tone yourself down because it must be tiring to always put on a show for everyone all the time..

[wolfcat87]

I care more about being comfortable and happy. If I dress up, it's just to make myself or my partner happy that day. When it comes to others, I only care about my hair being smoothed down and having any clothes on, and being clean.

[Sonorous]

I just care about looking good enough. It's literally what I say as I'm getting ready. For instance, I don't aim to have a haircut so fresh that it looks like a professional did it. I just cut it to where I can look at myself & not feel as much disgust. Then I say "good enough" & move on.

[NathanDavis]

I don't need to "polish" much to look fine

and I definitely do not have the need to look like it's a photoshoot everywhere the whole time either

[Apple1996]

I rarely ever try to look good. I'm not really into fashion or makeup

[exitseven]

i workout and brush and floss. I shower every day and wear clean clothes every day. I do not spend much on clothes and wear mostly jeans and flannel shirts to work. I wear a suit maybe once a year and hate wearing neckties. I actually do not know how to tie a necktie. It is something I an sort of proud of.

[Andres77]

I usually only leave the house for work lately and I’m always presentable in that regard.

[Andres77]

Because my house is so cool I don’t want to leave. I’ve entertained 25+ people in my house since June (since I finished getting it ready). I hate leaving my house.

[Andres77]

I don’t cater. I cook and bake everything and learned to make a couple good drinks very well. I buy these drinks at bars and compare and make mine better. All 5 senses whole experience and it’s unforgettable.
I don’t care what people think of me outside…only my family and friends.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s great. I am happy for you, Andres.

[Andres77]

No one else has earned the privilege to comment on me to my face and I wouldn’t care about what they’d have to say. Consider the source.

[Andres77]

☺️☺️☺️

[Unit1]

Yeah. However I get the feeling males have a bigger challenge to pull it off properly. I am speaking from experience.

It's hard to get my hair under control.

We have almost nothing to clothe ourselves in stylish manners. T shirt and jeans is too plain and unoriginal. Business suits are ugly. Video game skins have better clothing than the junk they sell in the real world.

[MissStrawberry912]

I only care to look good for… me, myself, and I.
And only wanna look good for him….. if there’s someone special and he wanna show me off proudly hehe.

[Sirenboobzilla]

I do like to look good and presentable. However not for the general public. I want to like what I see in the mirror. I want my boyfriend to like how I look. I do exercise and eat healthy so that I can stay on shape and wear the clothes I like

[sheikalana]

Very much. You'll never see me looking like trash even at the supermarket.

[Sevenpointfive]

all that i want it a woman that looks good. it's not hard

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You are not an exception.

[Sevenpointfive]

ah, thanks babe!

[leahzrc]

I try a little, but I gotta except fate.

I wake up wash my teeth, brush my face, and get high, all day, then repeat

[AmeerX]

I don't care about my looks. Just average looking is better. What is made beautiful doesn't need things to become beautiful

[Yannae]

More than I used to. One it feels great and two, I've got a girlfriend and she doesn't tell me but I hear the "you're the one that I want" song in my head just because of her mere existence.

[HouseMoat]

I try not to care but, at the same time, "not caring", makes you look like exactly that... careless

You're allowed to care, you just have to sort of think about what is worth caring about and what isn't