I have this coworker and we’re really just “friends” by association because we’re the same age and work together and we’re both in like this little group with this other girl we work with who I’m closer to and talk to more.
It’s not that I dislike this coworker but her energy seems kind of off. She’s very quiet at first and still can be and sometimes can have a Debbie downer kind of energy and she makes fun of me and our other friend a lot even though she has called our other friend pretty and has given compliments here and there.
She’s kind of a tough shell to crack and isn’t really easily impressed. The way she talks is kind of monotone but I guess it’s weird because I’m just not used to people like her.
I’ll laugh or make jokes or something and she’ll frown up her face and be like “why are you doing that?” And at first it was all in fun but she’ll constantly rag on me.
It’s not that she makes me feel bad about myself because I know I’m pretty and fun a lot of people tell me I am so if anything I find her behavior entertaining but I still don’t want someone like that around all the time.
Like I said, she’s quiet so occasionally I’ll walk into work and she won’t speak to me but sometimes she’ll say hi and say my name in like a singsongy way.
I don’t really talk to her first anymore because she has the vibe that she doesn’t want to be bothered but I’m extremely nice to her and have invited her to my house and I took a trip and brought her a little something back. She can be appreciative at times but even today when I came into work she didn’t really speak to me at first and eventually she did. Then she went to go do something and I asked her what she was doing and joked that I was tired and she ignored me which I thought was rude lol.
Like I said, I really can’t read her I just dk how to behave around her. I have trauma with befriending people who actually really didn’t like me or found me annoying. What should I do?
It’s not that I dislike this coworker but her energy seems kind of off. She’s very quiet at first and still can be and sometimes can have a Debbie downer kind of energy and she makes fun of me and our other friend a lot even though she has called our other friend pretty and has given compliments here and there.
She’s kind of a tough shell to crack and isn’t really easily impressed. The way she talks is kind of monotone but I guess it’s weird because I’m just not used to people like her.
I’ll laugh or make jokes or something and she’ll frown up her face and be like “why are you doing that?” And at first it was all in fun but she’ll constantly rag on me.
It’s not that she makes me feel bad about myself because I know I’m pretty and fun a lot of people tell me I am so if anything I find her behavior entertaining but I still don’t want someone like that around all the time.
Like I said, she’s quiet so occasionally I’ll walk into work and she won’t speak to me but sometimes she’ll say hi and say my name in like a singsongy way.
I don’t really talk to her first anymore because she has the vibe that she doesn’t want to be bothered but I’m extremely nice to her and have invited her to my house and I took a trip and brought her a little something back. She can be appreciative at times but even today when I came into work she didn’t really speak to me at first and eventually she did. Then she went to go do something and I asked her what she was doing and joked that I was tired and she ignored me which I thought was rude lol.
Like I said, I really can’t read her I just dk how to behave around her. I have trauma with befriending people who actually really didn’t like me or found me annoying. What should I do?
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Opinion
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Ugh, I feel you - some people are just hard to read and feel off. At the same time though, I'd be careful about writing this coworker off too fast just because they're more quiet and you don't totally "get" them yet.
A few things that stand out - she does say hi sometimes and call your name in a friendly way, so there are some good signs there. But ignoring you when you ask what she's doing is rude, no denying that.
My advice would be give it a bit more time and don't stress too much about it either way. Keep being friendly like you have been - invite her out/include her sometimes, but don't force it. And don't take her jokes or energy too personally either. Some people just match that kind of sarcastic back-and-forth better than others.
At the end of the day, she's just a coworker you don't need to be super close with. As long as you're both reasonably polite to each other at work, that's all that really matters. If you find over time you just don't vibe, then it is what it is. But for now I'd say keep your distance a bit but stay open, no need to totally kick her to the curb unless she gets outright rude or something. Don't let her energy stress you out too much!
What does the other girl in the group think about her
She likes her but I feel like she feels like she has to
How long have u known each other