All this ''you'll find love again'' is it really true for a woman or not?

[Anonymous]

I believe there comes an age where some of us simply stopped feeling that passion if someone new comes along.

Guy 1: I've only felt it on 2 different occasions. The first time I was 12-13 years old and kept pinning over the same guy until he left to another school when he was in 11th grade. He was only a year older than me. At age 14, I even dreamt about going on a date with him and kissing at a restaurant. Another dream was about losing my virginity to him. Unrequited love. After he left I wasn't able to feel that same emotion again for anyone else in my HS.

Guy 2: The 2nd time was years later when I was 19 and met my then boyfriend on MySpace. com. I lost my virginity to him but I was already feeling it way before sex or another sexual acts. This is a person that hurt me badly, whom I now feel nothing for and never want to speak to ever again. He lied about everything and was really a legitimate sociopath. He faked a future, wasted my years by keeping me in the girlfriend zone forever and used me. He even scammed me with money. I'm never going to get back my $1,300. I've blocked him on all social medias.

Present-day at age 36:

I find myself still pinning over Guy 1, my youthful crush. I've had a boyfriend afterwards for a brief period and then broke up. I even went on date just recently but it's like any new man in my life, I'm just not feeling it. Even if he were to invite me and pay for it, that won't exactly make me feel passion over him. I felt like I were dating strangers, just nothing to it. If I were to commit to a new man, it would just be to not be alone but not really my first option I would've loved.

Is there a limit for us when it comes to ''oh you'll fall in love again, you'll find love again''. I think this only works out during our youthful years when we want the first option, not late in life.

Updates

4 mo

I find myself that I'm likely going to settle. I can't find those emotions for any new man at this age. I've only felt it twice and then never again.

[Tapeworm]

Tldr... all humans are different. It's like saying "you'll pick your nose again". If you really try, you can pick your nose, you can also avoid it unless you have a learning disability.

Personally I struggle to determine whether I shall proceed to set my gender identity to a "coom jar" like one who seeks pleasure in life, or as a "horror cock" like one who wants to be tough and do the heroic cooming while embracing discomfort. I suppose I could make a decision and not look back. Then I question what is the correct choice? I can "settle" easily, and by that I mean I could find a "fuckbuddy" wifeband to share all my dirty secrets with and make babies with... I suppose you mean something else by "settle", though I only read the title and the update, I also like making this sentence structure that resembles a schizo... gotta tag chefpapichoochoo. Bot most likely the AI or pill pick me or MHO.

I think I finally understood your question. Thank my intuition for clarifying it, although I still haven't read what you wrote. Yes you can. Unless you have been seriously abused, and even then you could make it work, maybe if seeing a penis triggers a panic attack, you could find an asexual partner who'll never send you dicpics on telegram.

See, my intuitive faculty is so developed that I not only know what you asked without even reading, but I know the answer to it too without even thinking. It's like I'm channeling the wisdom of the spirit of the Orgasmosphere. And it could just be that you're holding on to your past. In order to be receptive to new fucking experiences, you must let go fully of the past. I don't know where in scripture is there an example of some PAWG finding love by annihilating her ego.

Assuming that this is actually what you asked about, I would say you have it easy. See, I personally am paranoid about what is the correct next step in my life? If only Lord Orgasmos spoke to me with the sound of a thunder, commanding me to commit to a cute hoe, I would do it in an instant. You gotta ask yourself what's stopping you? I'm pretty sure it's your grief of the past. Get over the old expectations. New shit smells better anyway.

[Asker]

By settling I meant finding a marriage-minded man (or a man that's desperate enough for a wife at a quicker pace;likely someone that doesn't have many options) and if I can make it still on time to have at least one child, fine. It doesn't mean I'll be madly in love with him. If I were to marry him, first I'm not religious and it'll be done at a courthouse and secondly I won't be infatuated but I don't mind by then. I want a life partner even if I'm not in love, even I don't to be with Guy 1. I'll likely be fantasizing about Guy 1 at times even if I were married. I think with some people, certain things just don't die.

[Tapeworm]

I just saw you mention something about you love life as a teenager.

It reminds me of how I was reading about the first experience of our grade 6 math teacher having the first rack I laid my eyes on. -that sentence wasn't made up by me but it's very true for me too. My grade 6 math teacher was a cheerleader with huge humps.

... that our first experience such as what happens in our early puberty, "imprint" our minds with feelings and experiences.

Straight to the point: (it's really a common practice done subconsciously) find a man who looks very similar to the first boy you had a huge crush on. The similarity could trigger the old feelings associated with his appearance.

Or just a guy who treats you really really fucking nicely, in a way that feels similar to the first guy that clinged to you.

Once you meet someone with hot chemistry you'll find yourself unable to get rid of your newfound feelings.

Seriously why do you think age has anything to do with relationship status when most people of your age are not single (I have no data, just pulling outta my ass, like I pull out tapeworms at least once a month, I may have sent tapepics to @D_Bone_Steak) the only 4 correlations with age I can think of is 1) you're not attractive anymore and all men are rude because of pretty-privelege. 2) your hormones are whacked and you should be prescribed anavar and cabergoline by a gym bro to get your libido up. 3) men in your circles are all old and ugly, you have no feelings for them. 4) these men drank too much frog water or it naturally rained upon their heads (rainwater contains atrazine naturally, source: sciencedirect. com/science/article/abs/pii/S0048969718326184 ) and these men also need a gym bro to prescribe them 600mg testosterone and 600mg trenbolone per week until they die from fucking too much.

[Tapeworm]

Do you like how I start my posts with normal advice and revert back to bullshit? It keeps your time nice and wasted.

I meant to say that there's no such thing as "too old"... a fucking child can feel unlovable...

You just need to be locked in a dungeon with a handsome fucker like @dolllover. If you resist we can always induce mating behavior by injecting you with hormones.

[Asker]

You're funny. I like the part about trying to find someone with his similar features. If only human clones existed... I wish so I could then have guy 1 till old age. I'll just have to go along with finding someone that's sweet and makes me somehow forget about my crush.

[Tapeworm]

... I only recognize the two public verbal masturbators... aka prime minister to be speakers Trudeau and Poilievre... because they pop up on every Canadian's youtube feed...

But look huffpost. com/archive/ca/entry/17-canadian-politicians-who-look-like-other-humans-and-things_n_6006702

I also met plenty of lookalikes despite having spent half my life in my mom's basement while sleeping in a house that doesn't have a basement.

[sawno]

I never rule anything out, but the truth is that at your age its a lot harder to find a good man which is why girls should not waste time in their 20's. There are guys who will want you, but expect them to come out of a relationship that failed, perhaps they have kids already and they may not be as desirable as the men prior in your life.

Its because 36 is often seen as past her prime, gotta rush for kids territory. So if a 34 year old for example is looking for a girl he will often be looking at younger women not older.

[sawno]

But to give you a bit of encouragement, my niece met the love of her life at age 40.

[Asker]

The thing is I have no issue finding a date and can pass for a much younger woman. I have good genes that many people find it hard to believe I'm really 36.
The issue is even if I find him and commit, I'll imagine just settling and maybe even fantasizing about guy 1 (my very first option... he actually wanted to give me a chance even though he didn't feel the same but I rejected and felt hurt... silly me; I should've accepted it) while just feeling no sparks for whoever that ''love of my life'' is at this age.

[sawno]

For me its a bit of both, with the best love of my life so far I initially was interested in her immediately since she was pretty and we got along well but it wasn't love levels either. That came as I got to know her more and more and realized how amazing she truly was. So perhaps your going off the wrong expectations.

[Asker]

In the end is it really that bad to marry just to settle? I would still be loyal to him and never cheat because I'm a person of principles still, even if I were not in love.

[bededazzle]

no one knows the future.

[Asker]

yeah who knows. If hypothetically speaking I were to end up with Guy 1 (my biggest crush and the one I've been pinning for the longest), it would be the best happy ending.
Though that won't happen and I guess I'll likely settle if I got married, which is bittersweet ending... sweet because ok I finally would get proposed and married but bitter because it's not whom I've always wanted and he'll be stuck in my fantasies.

[bededazzle]

i still love my first love sometimes, but that girl doesn’t exist anymore. it’sa nice memory though. s as for someone you never had a relationship with, love happens when two people share a feeling. it’s possible that your feelings are about something deeper than this person, perhaps an emptiness inside. i can guarantee you you will never fall in love again while you are pointing away for someone who has probably never thought of you.

[bededazzle]

*pining away

[Asker]

Certain days I find myself kind of depressed and as if life hasn't really gone the way I've wished. I could've accomplished more in life and didn't. For instance, guy 2 wasted my time and years into nothing. I would've wished to already be married with kids. I see other people (even my former school bullies; none of them are losers like Hollywood movies want to make us believe) more successful in life and even have become their own boss. But yessss this unrequited love from Guy 1 really sucks.
You're right, to him I'm just another student that attended middle school and HS (well he left my HS when I was in 10th grade and he was in 11th grade) and nothing else. Besides during our school years, he only contacted me once way back in 2009 or 2010 on FB to say hi to me, asked me what I'm studying and sent me a friend request. Then nothing else. I took him out of my FB in 2018 or 2019. Then I reached out to him myself just last Friday and requested him, which he added me. In the past, I did wished him happy b-day twice meanwhile he never wished me a happy b-day. Oh well. Perhaps it's my mind playing tricks on me and retaining a familiar face, a familiar time, as if I were frozen in time.
The way I think about him though it's more realistic. I know he's not perfect and he used to do lame jokes when he was a teen but he was funny too.

[bededazzle]

well you were attracted to him, but, no offense, your thoughts about him are still irrational and pure fantasy, i mean as far as i can tell. maybe you miss yourself at that time too? i was in love with a woman when i was 19. i still tell myself that i’ve never felt closer to another human being. it true in many ways, but it’s just a shimmer in the past. it’s over. again, if you keep looking at things you could have done in the past. how does that serve you in the present? does it motivate you? then move forward. i know it sounds cliche, but the present is it. that’s reality. there’s something you still need to process. i believe that the things that seem so important in another person relationship crush are just things inside you that are incomplete or empty. to me, you sound like you are missing something but haven’t quite figured out what it is. i promise you though it’s not about anyone but you

[Asker]

I was kind of awkward as a teen and didn't speak too much to new people. I had a couple friends but wished I could've done more social activities and not put too much focus on getting good grades because in the end grades don't measure someone's success in life. Ironically, the ones more successful with their majors ended being the former C students. You're right though. Now I'm doing it again by saying what I should've done. No point though but sometimes I find myself missing my youthful years. I didn't do too much in my youthful years, didn't have too much life experiences so it's like I missed out on so much.

[Asker]

I've posted an update about my recent conversation with Guy 1. You can answer this question here:
Did I make it obvious that I still like/love him, still pining over him? ↗
Be honest, if you were him what would you be thinking? Do you think I've made it obvious?

[Anonymous]

I think it is true

[Asker]

Then I don't know what's wrong with me. I was never able to completely forget about guy 1, my biggest crush. There is just something about him.

[Anonymous]

Its true.

[Asker]

So I can magically fall in love yet again (a 3rd time) at this late age with someone new? I feel as if I got stuck at an age where I can't ever feel it for any other new man that crosses my path.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I Think so.