Dear ladies, why don't you take accountability for the men you choose?

Question

a lot of these women will blame men saying oh he's just using me for sex now I'm pregnant he won't take care of the kid, yet a lot of women make poor choices in men and put sex on the table before building a bond.

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

A lot of women refuse to take responsibility for sex in general, as if sex is done to them, and they have no decisions in it.. Don't get me wrong, rape does indeed take that choice from her, and is evil... But I'm not talking about rape.. I'm talking about consentual sex.. Sex is done mutually with two participants, yet the laws treat it as if only the man is responsible for it, as do a lot of women.

A good example of this is in my home state a baby sitter raped the 12 year old boy she was babysitting, she got pregnant from it, and as a result this little boy was forced to pay child support, and denied the ability to be a father.. The judge literally said " I think at the age of 12 you're able to control your body, you got turned on, you obviously wanted it so we are denying your claim to drop child support".. A raped 12 year old boy.. Let that sink in.. I GUARANTEE if the roles were reversed people would be outraged by this, but because it's a boy, and boys are 100% responsible for sex, even if they were raped, no one cares, it's as if we are somehow disposable.

MrMore1 · Accepted Answer

Lots of women think "I can change him, I can fix him"

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Most of the time you can't tell how a man will be as a father until after the child has been born. At the time I was pregnant with my oldest I was preparing to be a single mom because my husband (boyfriend at the time) didn't seem like he would step up but that changed as soon as I gave birth.

a lot of women experience the opposite where the baby daddy fakes being good before and during pregnancy but then dips after the baby is born.

There is no way to know what type of man he really is until something hard comes around and he proves himself

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The simple answer is to not have sex with a man before he puts a ring on your finger. I know it's an unpopular opinion with some, but there were good reasons why that was the traditional wisdom.

lightbulb27 · Answer

their biological priority takes power over their rational priority. the priority is make offspring.

so they can't, their hormones are "screwed up"... pardon the pun.

It's difficult to manage ones emotions, takes effort, social controls... religion, threats, etc..

It's not easy bein ga responsible adult. those people suffer. Much easier to be selfish and have needs met and pass the problems onto others.

In short, people are weak and we've screwed with society to a point it causes difficult conflict within the persons.

BullShark · Answer

It's good to see some women on here who are mature enough to take accountability for the poor choices they've made instead of making up some bs reason like blaming their zodiac or thinking they can "fix him". Yeah, sorry for the heads up sisters, and I know this will be a hard pill to swallow for some of y'all, but if he wants to be fixed, he'll fix HIMSELF and strive to be a better version for you if he really truly loved you.

You made the choice of dating the "bad guy", you chose him over the "losers" and now you feel bad that things didn't work out like you wanted. This isn't some romance novel where the bag boy anti hero turns good for the sake of love. This is reality, where unfortunately, things like this don't always fly.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

We can't take responsibility for another adult person. It doesn't make any sense.

But we should take responsibility for our decisions. Birth control, creating or staying in the relationship, children. Those are things every woman should deeply think about and take responsibility for.

I don't say it's only women's responsibilities, but those things can hurt any woman badly, so better be safe than sorry.

msc545 · Answer

When my ex told me she was pregnant, I thought "oh, a baby. Nice I guess". Two months later, when we went to get CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) to rule out fetal defects, I was silently praying to God that our child was ok - and she was. A month later, I began to dream about her weekly - very sweet dreams. When it was the time for her to be born, I was right there in the delivery room helping a little and watching like crazy. I carefully cut the cord and cleaned her. For the next several years, I was there for her and my ex 24-7 every day. I loved every minute of it.

3.5 years later, my ex told me she had found someone else to be with, left me, and took our daughter and moved out of state. I've not seen my daughter since she was 4 years old. She is 10 now.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Some men honestly lie about their intentions. I've had that happen to me. Unless you have a crystal ball or you have the ability to read inside their mind for their true intentions, I learned the hard way (no I didn't get pregnant but still got hurt from the actions they took). There are people that look good and innocent on the outside, but have bad intentions on the inside. Also, sometimes, your emotions can indeed cloud your judgement like someone told me before.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

It's true to an extent, but it goes both ways. You often can't tell what kind of parent someone will be until they are a parent. Just like you often won't know an abuser until they're literally abusing you. People get caught up in the moment, of course, and foresight isn't that prominent in our society, but people are good at hiding who they really are.

JacobJordan · Answer

Consequences of destroying the family. Women have had an exceedingly important role and yet they decided they wanted to stop doing that so they can be "one of the guys" little wonder why they end up knocked up, single, miserable, and complaining. My wife has never complained about what she does to make our house a home. She has never once complained about being the emotional glue that brings our family together. Feminine woman vs masculine woman.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Agree to a certain extent, I completely failed in my dating experience prior to having my daughter because I was overly emotional in decision making. Having said that and held myself accountable a lot of men currently aren’t able to be honest about intentions and clearly present who they are or their values. Many woman cannot take accountability for a relationship/life they didn’t sign up for and the only thing they can do is adapt.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I'm not a lady but my guess or hypothesis would be the conditioning that women undergo. Women's intuition. How can it be possible that they chose wrong? No way can a woman make a bad decision because they can feel it and their biological makeup won't allow them to make mistakes.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

While I agree to an extent it does go both ways. I think in my experience from what I've observed most men are lazy in the dating scene and don't treat/court women properly, game, drink don't exercise or pay for dates and insist on the 50/50 bs (what a turn off) while blaming others but themselves for their own mistakes instead remaining in their masculinity which is confidence respectful of space and career driven which hence deters women away.

LazerBean · Answer

A large percentage of people hate to admit that they are the ones creating problems in their lives, so then blame others and play victim. It's sadly not uncommon. I see several men here in the comments who are like that too. Pathetic.

tremendousfern · Answer

Women want to have it both ways:

They want to be strong and independent boss bitches who can make their own grown up decisions!

But they also want to be coddled and refuse to take responsibility for their actions or behavior.

Anonymous · Answer

I was young and stupid, but fundamentally didn’t care because I was too busy. I flew too close to the sun and got burnt, oh well.

Heartbreak is apart of life, people come and go, I want character building and most importantly I want something interesting.

Asad1ONE1 · Answer

Not necessarily. You can't group all those women into the same category. Many men are to blame as well due to false promises.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Well we certainly aren't guilt free as men, but I do agree with you.

Twalli · Answer

They choose men who are bad for thrm and then blame "all men" for poor decisions they made.

OtterMan68 · Answer

If people made rational decision before having sex, abortion would only be necessary for medical reasons for birth control failures

LiamJHayden · Answer

Sometimes they should know better, but other times the ladies face pathological liars. Same for guys.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

This question is ace. I'm surprised by the female no results. Hooray for the men yes results like me

Staximus · Answer

Girls, you can get porked by all the loser bums you want. Just don't have a kid with one.

Dear ladies, why don't you take accountability for the men you choose?

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