My ex of 4 years vented to me for 5 hours the other day after I reached out regarding a test score. She felt sincere, what does it mean?

[Anonymous]

I casually asked her about how her final ACT when we had it in the same room, and before she felt hostile and wanted nothing to do with me when we talked, so we hardly ever did, but she started venting to me about things that were similar when we were together in a single thread for 5 HOURS, and when I tried to break it off because “don’t you have a boyfriend for this?”, she insisted I stayed. It was also the first time I’ve heard her shoulder the blame as I’ve done for so long and be apologetic, and it actually seemed genuine. I’m just confused asf.

I’d love to pretend she wants nothing to do with me so I can move on and do better things, but it’s the second day of talking and not feeling like she’s treating me like “the toxic ex” even though things ended, relatively smooth, but just left me confused and questioning everything.

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tricky situation man. On one hand, it does seem positive that your ex was so open with you after not communicating much before. Venting for that long and being sincere/shouldering some blame are signs she may be softening up a bit.

At the same time, you raise a fair point - with a new boyfriend, why is she coming to you for all that emotional support? That is a little weird and could mean she's not fully over things either.

My advice would be to proceed cautiously. I don't think you necessarily need to cut her off entirely yet if you still care about her, but don't dive back into old patterns. Set clear boundaries - let her know you're there as a friend but aren't looking to rekindle anything romantic either.

See how she behaves going forward. If she continues being open and respecting you both having moved on, maybe a friendship could work in time. But watch for signs she may just want attention orValidation still rather than truly letting go. Take things slow and don't forget - you need to look out for YOU too. Get some guy friends' opinions too if you want other perspectives. Overall just protect your heart bro while also seeing where this newfound understanding could lead. Hope it works out for the best, whatever that ends up meaning!

[Asker]

Appreciate the thoughtful answer my dude!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome man anytime

[Avicenna]

I don't see what you could hope to get out of further contact with her

[Anonymous]

Let her vent to the boyfriend. He probably would drop her in an instant because he doesn’t want to hear all the craps he has to say.

You should move on and find someone that loves you and love her back. So t waste time on someone that already has a dick. To put it mildly.

[Asker]

Yeah for sure, she put me in an interesting predicament where most everyone has figured it out by now, and the rest are holding out for college, which is exactly what I’ve been doing.

[Nikki1989]

Why would any of this mean anything?

[Iron_Man]

Just talk to her and see what happens