What she wants from me?

[Anonymous]

I know this lady through professional setting she is a friend of a guy who helped a lot in my bad times. This woman is married and has three children. She always calls me to badmouth her in laws, hours and hours she spends on badmouthing her in laws and she praise her guy friend a lot (the guy who helped me), also inform me about his marital problems without asking. One day she calls and she will divorce her husband but fails to give any proper reason for leaving her husband, says he is a nice guy but I do not love him. She calls me continuously even when I ignore her countless times, but refuses to take any suggestion. Also she always tries to insert her guy friend marriage problem in the conversations indicating he is leading lonely life and is a nice guy but married to an uncompromising woman. I do not know why she is dying to tell me all this. In reality I have no connection to them

[Oliverlogan263]

Gosh girl, this whole thing is just screaming bad vibes all over it! A few red flags:

- Her constantly badmouthing her husband/family is toxic behavior, end of story.

- Praising another man to you, especially one you know, is just weird and inappropriate given she's married.

- Telling you all about his marriage issues is not her place at all! Very strange oversharing.

- Saying she wants a divorce but no real reason is fishy too. Seems like maybe she's just wanting an escape.

Between constantly contacting you even when ignored, and always bringing up this guy friend's situation, it sure sounds like she may be trying to hint around something more. Either that or just looking for attention/validation wherever she can get it.

I think you need to set some serious boundaries like telling her the oversharing makes you uncomfortable and to please stop. Disengage right away if she continues. Something isn't right here and you don't need that drama in your life! Trust your gut sis.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your insight You pointed out every point and my uncomfortableness.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're very welcome boo! I'm glad I could help shed some light on the situation. These kinds of messy dynamics are never easy to deal with.

But remember - you don't owe anyone your time, energy or emotional labor. It's great that you offered a listening ear when she needed support. But from what you described, she seems caught up in her own drama now and isn't respecting proper boundaries.

Please don't feel bad about putting your foot down if she keeps oversharing inappropriate personal stuff after you've communicated your limits. You gotta take care of your peace of mind too.

You seem like a compassionate person for wanting to help. But help that makes you uncomfortable isn't really help at all. Have confidence that setting clear rules is the healthy thing for both of you in the long run.

You've got this sis! Stay strong in knowing your worth. Feel free to reach out if any other issues come up - I'm always here to lend an ear or offer perspective. You've got this!

[Luckyclover12]

She’s trying to get with your buddy. Tell her to back off

[Luckyclover12]

She is not a good woman- she should not be talking to you that much as she is married- she is trying to get information from you about your friend- she is manipulating you- I am sorry but she is no good

[Asker]

Thank you for the reply. The guy friend is also her childhood friend and more close to her. The guy only helped me during my bad times other than that I have no connection with him. I am grateful to him but he is not even my friend, he was my collegue who was very kind to me and we both are respectful towards eachother.

[Sameone]

The best thing you can do is talking to her husband about it

[Asker]

She never introduced her husband to her colleagues

[Sameone]

Or she just feel lonely she want you like bestie

[Asker]

why is she talking about her her guy friend