Girl who said she likes me sometimes takes a couple hours to respond to texts?

Question

This is a girl who I went on a date with last week and was keen to do another one. We text every day. However sometimes she takes a couple hours to respond to messages I send while I only take 30 to an hour at most. She has said she’s into me, so I’m confused with the mixed signals here.

If she likes me, why would she take so long to respond to my messages sometimes?

Seems like she’s losing interest, but she’s always done it even before we confessed to each other. It almost makes me worried that she said she liked me and agreed to a first and second date just to be nice. We also never send each other good morning texts, and I’m always the first to say good night if she even says it back.

I left her on delivered for a day yesterday to see if anything would happen, and she did the exact same thing to me today. That’s a bad sign isn’t it? She said she had a really crazy day, so I asked her what happened and 2 hours later she responds with “Ok so tbh I can’t even be bothered talking about it rn I hope that doesn’t sound rude. Can I tell you when I see you?” Like what? It’s like 11pm at this point by the way so not even that late.

I’m just really worried I’m being led on, but the vibes in real life are definitely there.

What do you people think? Should I ask her why it takes so long for her to respond to my messages sometimes or is that too needy for someone I’ve been on one date with?

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

Okay man. I’m going to speak to you like you are one of my Bros over a cold beer. Ready?

Calm the hell down? Whats wrong with you man? Have a big gulp of your beer and listen.

You went out a week ago? ONE week ago? This chick is still sorting out how much she likes you and you’re obsessing over her texts already! You’re going to scare this bird back into the woods! You clearly need other interests in life besides her. Truly mate. This reeks of needy and insecure. No chick likes that.

Now, having said that: understand this. There are tons of people who don’t hang off their phone 24/7. They don’t like texting or social media or even talking on the phone at all. They like face to face interactions and the interaction with people, not devices. In fact, maybe she’s the sweet, kind, and considerate person who doesn’t even touch her phone when she’s spending time with other people and devotes her attention to them. She probably has a life and is reading books, talking to people, working out, and living life.

Truth be told my wife is almost the exact same way. Zero social media, hates to text, and doesn’t even know where he phone is at home for hours on end. Why? She prefers the REAL of life not the incessant and merciless of intrusions forced on her by others not even present. Ahead always been that way since the day we met.

Calm the hell down. Get to know this chick before you start asking questions like ‘why did it take you so long to answer my text’s’ because what she will hear is “I’m insecure, full of doubt, and potentially have control issues…. after one week.” and SHE WILL WALK.

Mikeysoda · Accepted Answer

Learn this early on, the frequency of communication does not always indicate the quality of the relationship.

Everyone does not communicate the same. Especially through means of texting.

Everyone does not prioritize replying quickly to messages. They just don't.

Everyone isn't glued to their phone throughout the day

This does not mean they like less necessarily, they could simply have a different style of communication or they prioritize it differently. Take heed to learn the difference otherwise you may sabotage descent relationships based on a lack of understanding.

Also, If it bothers you, communicate with them that youd prefer they respond a little sooner than later.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

There are two possibilities.

One is she is pretending to be busy to make herself look good so can't respond to questions when you ask what she is busy doing since she wasn't busy doing anything at all.

Another is she is actually busy, and doesn't noticed you did not talk because she had her own life to deal with.

If she is legitimately busy, the way to deal with it, is to update each other on schedules, and you could ask if she does not volunteer information.

Like I don't question my friend's interest in hanging out if I don't hear from them cause we when we have conversations I learn their schedules and I learn about things they do that keep them busy when we are not hanging out so I know where they were and what they were doing during that time etc...

I mean I don't obsess over whether friends talk to me or not since I'm not dating them, but this is an example of when I no longer notice when somebody is absent cause I know why they are absent.

Like I expected my Jewish friend to be busy this weekend cause it was Purim so I was not expecting regular contact with him this week. Knowing what to expect, changed my expectations.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

You guys have to get off this social media/texting nonsense.

That is how misunderstandings happen. Not everyone is always hooked on their phone or smartphone. Some have a life besides their phones.

I also take my time to answer messages, sometimes a day or more. I just don't feel like having to be on that stupid phone 24/7, including on the washroom.

People should realize that life is more than just being on that smartphone. Other people want to live, not just to be constantly on them.

Of course, those, like you, that cannot go anywhere without being on their smartphone cannot understand that there is another life besides smartphone mania.

It does not mean anything if she does not answer right away. It simply means that she is occupied elsewhere and that her phone can wait for a while.

rosemilk · Answer

i'm looking at your age range, 18-24. yeah that's pretty normal for people your age to do. normally, she is not busy. she is waiting a specific amount of time between each text to make you more interested. it's a game. and quite honestly, it's exhausting. and immature.

but then again, it could be so many things. i just know that when i'm actually interested in someone or the conversation, no matter who it is, i respond consistently in a decent amount of time. and if i'm busy, i will tell the person that i'm busy and will talk later. not just... disappear for hours at a time.

Abbycado · Answer

Because she has a life. She isn’t just waiting around to be on duty to respond.

Do you just sit around answering texts when they roll in? Of course not. You are busy doing whatever.

She isn’t leading you on just because she doesn’t instantly respond to you.

toomanyqs-4 · Answer

This could mean four things according to me. 1. She's interested in you but doesn't want to come off as too desperate and clingy so tries not to text you too much or wait some time before sending texts. Unfortunately she's trying too hard and it's coming off as her not being interested. 2. She's just not interested and she's thinking along the lines of" he's a nice guy and it's nice talking to him but I don't know how to tell him I'm interested". This would most probably include more dry texts from her side. 3. She likes you A LOT and is nervous. 4. She just doesn't prefer talking via messages ( can't feel the bond , is too busy etc) and prefers face to face interactions.

bobalife · Answer

That’s actually how I normally respond to guys even if I’m into them because I get caught up with life and she’s also letting you take lead. She mentioned she wanna share it with you in person, which is a good thing as it’s more personable. Don’t worry too much and let it flow :)

Dinklex3 · Answer

I’m confused.

Not everyone just sits on their phone the whole time instantly replying to texts. Maybe she’s busy or hanging out with family/friends. She has a life outside of instantly replying to your text messages. At least she replies to you.

Yes, I think it’s needy and weird tbh. Regardless of how many dates you had. It sometimes takes me hours to reply to my boyfriend and he understands that he isn’t my whole world.

sheikalana · Answer

These are not mixed signals you are just overthinking. She's already told she's into you and is willing to go on another date with you. The amount of time someone takes to reply back is not a good measure for how much someone is into you. I suggest you stop counting the minutes or you're gonna go mad and possibly turn into a controlling partner and women do not appreciate that. Keep yourself busy and go with the flow. People get busy and are not always on their phones.

purplepoppy · Answer

Maybe she's got a job or a life and hasn't got time to drop everything every time her phone bleeps.

Nikki1989 · Answer

What @sueshe said...  If you persist with this childish, pointless texting nonsense, you deserve everything you get. Learn how to communicate and you might get somewhere.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I'm a busy man. Sometimes I may not even realize my phone is dead. Sometimes I'm not sure where my phone is. I'll get to it when I get to it.

Staximus · Answer

Stop with all the silly texting, you're putting too much mustard on the hot dog. Save the conversation for when you see her again. Don't text her for 2 days and then ask her out on a date and see what she says.

WhitneySnow · Answer

She’s just really busy. Don’t mention anything. Go out with her next time and see how the vibes are in person.

exitseven · Answer

a couple of hours? what if she took a couple of months? Learn some patience. Be cool. Do not look so needy.

Twalli · Answer

For starters I am in bed by 9, so 11pm is pretty late. I have a coworker who is in bed by 6, so 11 is also late for her. As for your feelings regarding texting, she may bot like it that much overall

Anonymous · Answer

i take forever to respond to texts no matter how much i like someone

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

She has a life. You can't be texting 24/7. What matters is how she treats you in person.

In_Trance · Answer

Stop

SolitarySolace · Answer

most likely talking to other guys

Booklover_90 · Answer

Her life is not wrapped up in you.

Girl who said she likes me sometimes takes a couple hours to respond to texts?

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