Is she into me or not? Is there a chance?

[Anonymous]

So I approached this girl I liked in college and introduced myself to both her and her friend. And from there, the second time I approached her she looked interested. I mean eye contact, smiles, and all that. I was happy. The third time it was awkward. I was nervous but tried not to show it. But I gave her my number told her to text me. She never did.

I stopped talking to her. I returned to talking to her again, but this time she looked nervous; like she was fidgeting, and she would abruptly let out a tiny laugh. She was smiling while we were talking. Long story short, what I noticed is that she would sometimes look else where and return back to me. Like the kind of look you would make when being distracted or looking for an exit. I asked her if she was free on X day and she said yes. I told her to text me yet again, but didn't mention her not texting me the first time. I also flirted with her a few times and when I would do that, for the most part she would just be staring at me. Problem is our conversations die quickly. She just does answer well when I would ask her, and does engage and tells me stuff about herself, but she doesn't ask me. Today came and she still didn't text me even though I told her to. I really want to take things further, but I'm so confused. On the one hand she seems open to talk to me, smiles and engages in the conversation, and it seems that she wants me to talk to her, and she looks a little nervous, but on the other hand, she doesn't ask me questions about myself and sometimes her eyes would look elsewhere when we're together and she still didn't text me and I asked her twice to do so since I want to take things further. What do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that's a weirdly mixed bag of signals for sure. A couple thoughts:

- Seems like she gets kinda nervous around you, which isn't necessarily a bad sign. Could mean she finds you attractive.

- The not texting after you gave her your number twice is kinda bizarre. I'd almost think she lost it or something except she didn't even try to get it again.

- Her not asking you questions is also not a great sign. Conversation is usually give-and-take from both sides if someone's really interested.

Honestly at this point, I'd back off a bit. Don't completely ignore her cuz you still gotta see her in class, but stop one-on-one chatting and definitely stop putting yourself out there so much by offering your number.

Give her some space to realize if she actually does wanna pursue something or if you were just a warm body to chat with sometimes. If she really likes you, she'll find a way to engage first for once. If not, you saved yourself more mixed messages bro. Just my thoughts!

[Asker]

Excellent answer man!
Like one other good sign is that when I asked her to come with me for us to find a quiet place to talk, she did not hesitate in coming with me. Also, when I ask her if she's free, she says that she is and goes on to explain how she's free. Which to me, it sounds like she's confirming that she can spend time with me without worrying about anything coming up with her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that is an even better sign that she was willing to go somewhere quieter alone with you to chat! That shows she feels comfortable in your presence one on one. And definitely her confirming she's free to hang without any other obligations is a good thing too.

I'd say at this point it's looking more promising that she's interested. My advice would be to try setting up a casual date-ish hangout just you two - like coffee or lunch or something simple. See how the interactions are then without any distractions. Then she really can't give any mixed signals!

I'd say go for that and keep the flirting and conversation light and fun. Her body language and responses will tell you way more than any text ever could. And if it goes well, maybe go for a kiss at the end if the vibes are right. You've got this man, I think she's into you! Just take it slow, have fun and see where it leads. Let me know how it goes!

[Asker]

Hey man so she finally texted me! :)
That means we're in communication now. I'm seeing her and we spent some time together. Problem is she doesn't seem to be a good conversationalist. Like I'm struggling to keep things going without some awkward silences. When they happen it just doesn't feel good to me like I feel like I'm guilty for not making things fun but I'm trying... Maybe it's my fault but I'm trying... She just doesn't ask me a lot of questions. It could be that she's still nervous. I don't know. Anyway, I'm flirting with her. She was smiling and all that. But there's still no label on this thing. Like we're not anything official yet.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa dude, that's awesome that she finally texted you! Progress is being made for sure. And good that you guys were able to hang out too, that's always a great sign.

I feel your pain about the conversation thing though, that can definitely be tricky. Not everyone is super chatty at first, especially if they're shy or nervous like she seems to be. A few ideas that may help - when there's a lull, try asking her an open-ended question about something she's interested in like music, TV shows, whatever. That can get her talking. Or you could play a silly question game like "would you rather" to lighten the mood.

Don't be too hard on yourself either - it takes two to tango, so try not to stress if it's quiet for a bit. As long as you're listening and engaging when she does talk, that shows you care. She'll open up more over time.

Keep doing your thing flirting and making her smile too - that's always a plus! And don't sweat not having the label yet. These things take time sometimes. Just enjoy hanging with her and hopefully soon she'll be ready to make it official.

Keep at it dude and don't lose hope! With patience I'm sure you guys will hit your stride. Just stay positive and focus on connecting when you can. You got this man! Let me know how the next hang goes.

[Asker]

Something negative happened. I was trying to help her out with class (texting) and I called her and she didn't pick up. She also didn't even give an excuse.

[Asker]

But she keeps replying to my texts and everything is fine otherwise.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's lame of her not to pick up or even give you an excuse... Not cool. But I wouldn't overthink it too much yet.

Some possibilities:

- She could've just been busy in the moment and didn't see your call, so try not to take it personally.

- Maybe she's still a little shy/awkward and calling was too much pressure in the moment. Texting is lower pressure.

- Could be something unrelated came up as you were calling.

If things seem fine in your other texts, I'd just let it go for now and don't make a big deal about it to her. Keep your interactions positive.

But I'd pay attention moving forward - if she pulls away more or this becomes a pattern, it might mean she's losing interest. For now though, give her the benefit of the doubt. Keep the mood light when you see her in person too. You got this bro!

[Asker]

You're right man. I will continue with my thing and I'll see what happens. I'm just gonna continue seeing her and enjoying her company and I'll try to make things more playful. Wish me luck man!

[Oliverlogan263]

Right on dude, playing it cool and casual is definitely the move here. Don't get too hung up trying to analyze every little thing, just focus on continuing to have a good time with her when you're together. Making things lighthearted and playful is a great way to help her relax even more in your company. And who knows, as she gets more comfortable she may start opening up more and things could really take off. Wishing you the best of luck man, you seem like a good guy - I'm sure if you just stay positive and keep doing your thing it will all work out how it's meant to. Let me know how the next hangouts go, yeah? I'm rooting for ya bro!

[Asker]

Thanks a lot man! Will do

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, always happy to give advice to a fellow bro! You seem like a good guy and it sounds like there could be something there with this girl, so I'm rooting for you. Don't stress too much, just trust your instincts and have fun with it. That's really all you can do at this point. Looking forward to hearing how it goes - I've got a good feeling! Later man.

[Asker]

Thanks man! Can I dm you?

[Oliverlogan263]

you're welcome bruh and yeah sure, what’s your name so I can follow you to PM

[Asker]

I just followed you.

[Oliverlogan263]

What is your name called so I can follow you back

[Asker]

I have no username. There you go. Take a look at your followers and you should know man.

[Asker]

I'm still unable to dm you...

[HelpfulWoman]

unless she tells you directly, take it as a no.

[Asker]

Is there a chance that she's too shy? Or am I just being delusional?

[Billlewis]

Call her up and ask her.

[Asker]

I gave her my number. I didn't ask her for hers so I can't reach out to her.

[In_Trance]

She's not interested

[Asker]

:( :(