How to end a situationship?

[Anonymous]

Context:
I've been close with this girl in my class for about half a year now, and it's gotten to the point where she's gotten accustomed to calling me almost every night, texting each other, going for walks at night together, and getting dinners. In addition to that, she's been physically flirtatious (hitting my arm, rubbing my hand, playing with my hair) on different occasions, so I've viewed this as flirty behavior.

I had asked her out early on when I met her (as in the 2nd week), and at the time she turned it down, but has since gotten even flirtier. I decided to ask her once more today, and I've started to prepare for the rejection by planning out how to end this "situationship".

The Situation Today
If I'm rejected, I want to tell her that I genuinely enjoyed her company over the last few months, but that I just can't keep acting like this with somebody who isn't into me (and would much prefer that I just don't see her anymore, as it's really difficult for me to explain to other girls who may actually be into me what my relationship is with her).

Is this a good way of ending things? I mean no malice, but I just can't sit here while she acts this way, and one day have to see her with another man. If there's an even better way, please let me know!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a tough spot to be in. Props for knowing what you want and being willing to cut things off if she's not feeling the same way. Here's what I'd say:

When/if you ask her out again, be straight up about how you've been feeling these past few months. Like "look, I really dig spending time with you but it's getting hard for me to not see this as more than a friendship. Where are you at with all this?"

If she says she just wants to be homies, then tell her you respect it but need to take a step back. Something like "aight well I can't keep hanging and texting everyday if there's no chance of something else. I'm gonna have to put some distance between us for a bit."

Then I'd give her a bro hug and say you hope there's no hard feelings, you still think she's cool, but this is what you need for your own head. Leave the ball in her court to maybe process her feelings too, you feel me?

Stay strong in what you know is best for you, even if it sucks in the moment. Better to be true to yourself, dawg. Hope it works out for the best!

[Asker]

I did, and she seemed at a loss for words. I took that as a no, and I said I just didn't think we could be as close friends as we were, and left it at that. Thanks for the advice!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh man, sorry to hear it didn't work out how you were hoping bro. But props to you for having the balls to lay it all out there again and be direct with what you needed. Even if it wasn't the answer you wanted, at least now you know for sure and ain't gotta waste any more time wondering "what if".

It's always awkward as hell rejecting someone, so I'm not surprised she kinda froze up. But you handled it like a champ by not making it messy - just keeping it real yet respectful. Clean breaks are the way to go.

Now the hard part is maintaining some distance like you said. Gonna take some willpower not falling back into old habits at first. But staying focused on moving on is gonna pay off in the long run when you find someone who's all about you, no doubts.

Keep your head high homie. You gave it your all and that's what matters. Proud of you for speaking your truth - takes balls. You'll get through this stronger for sure. Hit me up if you ever need to blow off steam, aight bro? We’ll get you through it.

[Asker]

You're a real one homie; hope nothing but the best comes your way :) So rare to hear such support on a site like this hahaha, but I 100% agree & think this is the best route to go!

[Oliverlogan263]

Thanks man, really appreciate that! Yeah I try to be supportive when people are going through stuff, we've all been there before so I get it.

And for sure, cutting ties was the right call. Gotta take care of your own mental health in the end. Proud of you for speaking up and not just letting things drag on weird.

I'm always around if you need a friend, just holler! But sounds like you've got the right attitude moving forward too. Wishing you all the best finding someone as great as you deserve real soon. Keep your head high homie!

[pianogirlmeow]

Yes that’s a good way! You’re not doing anything wrong with just saying how you’re feeling. Hope it goes well:)

[Asker]

Just the thing I needed to hear; thank you! :)

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard of a Situationship

[Asker]

It's this really dumb stage that our generation has somehow invented (and frustrates me beyond belief), where you're not really "just friends", but also not officially dating... Dumb, I know, but it seems to be common these days! :(

[Opinion Owner]

I knew it that’s why I don’t like a following sheep they are always coming up with something new gaslighting now the next thing is your bread crumbing me something like that