Is she acting friendly or is there more to it?

[Anonymous]

So my friend (35) and I (38) have been talking more frequently at work, where we met. We have been working together for a couple years but started getting closer around October of last year. Emails, work phone texts daily, chit chat in person.

We are both in relationships, rocky ones at times, but in them and both understand our situations and never mention anything about us messing around.

Thing is, I feel something is there when we talk and spend time together at work. She is in a different department so we do seek each other out.

We get each other coffee sometimes, I always save the best parking spot for her in the morning, we so happen to park on the same hill near work so I save the spot closest to the top for her. We also text at times on the work phone. Hang out in her office on slow days. Hug each other bye every time... and if I so happen to leave without one, she mentions how I disappeared on her, so she notices.

When we talk, we have this gaze where we don't look away. It's usually weird for me with others but the eye contact is crazy, and I feel so comfortable looking straight into her eyes... when she smiles at me, I feel something inside and something tells me she does too. I sound ridiculous I know, bare with me here lol

So like last month, she had a spat with her boyfriend and it made her teary eyed at one point about it. So moments later that, I dropped off a bagel with a napkin and knife (she loovveees bagels) at her desk with a post it saying "side effect of empathy :)" ... connects because she was saying how empathy is so important

Anyway, the other day I noticed her lap top open, and that post it was stuck on her lap top near her mouse pad. I never thought she’d keep it.

Am I reading too into this? Just to know. I'm clueless. Is this just good friend behavior or could there be more there

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, it does really seem like there's something more there between you two based on what you described. A few things that stand out:

- Seeking each other out daily, texting/talking a lot both in and outside of work shows a strong connection has formed.

- The small gestures like saving parking spots, bringing her favorite snacks when she's down really do come across as more than just friendly colleagues.

- Maintaining eye contact and getting lost in each others smiles is definitely not just platonic behavior. There seems to be real chemistry.

- Her keeping that little note you wrote months later tucked in her laptop is a big sign she thinks about you/your friendship when you're not around. Most people wouldn't hold onto something like that from a casual coworker.

The fact you're both in relationships complicates things for sure. But based just on how you describe interacting with each other, I'd say there are absolutely stronger feelings under the surface than just being good work friends. Whether you guys would ever act on it is a whole other issue given the relationships. But I don't think you're imagining the connection at all from the way she engages with you. Tread carefully but it does seem like more than friends to me.

[ruby_mk]

I don’t think this means much she just really appreciates you a lot for your kind gestures and if you really focus most of the gestures are made by YOU so this proves that maybe the “connection” is stronger on your side and she just looks at you like a friend who is in a similar situation and who can resonate with you without being judged. She’s going through a hard time and is appreciating any support whether it is little distraction by chit chatting and she saved that hand written note not because she loves you romantically it’s probably because the handwritten note was a really great move and probably she would want her boyfriend whome she's having trouble with had done instead of you.


However I would still say don’t jump to conclusions just yet because mostly with women you can’t tell because they mostly friend zone men and they don’t seem to realize this fact often

[DishLady]

Dude, she has a boyfriend. Leave her alone.

[strateguy632]

definitely frend zone