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I recently found out that a Nigerian guy I used to talk to was actually married the whole time. I saw online that he’s now filing for divorce, and it turns out it’s from the same woman I had previously come across—she shared an address with him in Atlanta, even though he lives in Dallas.
Before I knew any of this, I reached out to her, and she claimed they were just close friends. It seemed off to me, especially since their names were listed together on multiple addresses. I expressed that I didn’t think she was being completely honest, and when I brought it up again, she said she doesn’t sleep with her guy friends.
Eventually, I questioned her one more time, and her tone completely changed. She said, “What are you talking about? How the f*** did you get my number? I’m about to tell him.”
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Something seems a little weird with this story. How did you just happen to "come across" this woman who is also tied to the same man you spoke to? Why would you reach out to her if you if didn't know any of that? Some details are missing here.
And why would you be doing all that digging into her to find their names and addresses and her number like that?
Well because I already thought something was off with the guy I was talking too. I was hurt when we stopped talking and he wasn’t trying to tell me his real name… he made it seem like he wanted something more or that he liked me then rejected me when sex wasn’t on the table… he ghosted me and I was hurt.. so that caused me to do some digging to see who he really is and there’s a girl who shares the same address as him….
If the guy didn't want you because you wouldn't put out, then you should walk away and no longer care about him. He showed you who he really is. I'm not saying you can't be disappointed, but once he showed you what kind of dude he was and he ghosted you, you should've walked away.
Digging into him in the public records or however you did, and then reaching out to this girl who turns out to be his future ex, is not the answer. Leave them to whatever mess they have between each other. There is better out there than him.
I’m just so incredibly hurt… how the fuck does a stripper/cleaner get wifed but I get played?
He made me feel safe
Strippers are similar to prostitutes. They have a LOT of experience with men, and they know what makes men tick and how to pull them. Particularly knowing about feminine things that appeal to guys.
Don't beat yourself up about it too bad. Most people will have an experience sooner or later with someone who plays them or seems super sweet and awesome and then you get crushed when they betray you or turn out to be not what you thought. It happens in life. Just take it in stride and learn from it. Learn what to look out for, and learn what kind of person NOT to be.
I learned not to trust men
Nah it's not a man thing. Women play lots of dudes exactly the same way this guy played you - and in some ways women are a lot worse about it.
What you learned - but may not realize right now - is that people are not always what they seem, that people do disappoint you, that people can and do switch up on you at any given moment because they're messed up. And you learned that you won't be like that to someone else.
Fuck that. This made me suicidal
Are you really gonna let some loser you talked to on the Internet make you suicidal? If that's all it takes then you have a long way to go to being strong.
Forget that asshole. There's better out there, and probably NOT on the Internet either.
It’s a complicated story but he hurt someone who was already battling depression, loneliness, low self esteem and I told him I was protecting my emotional wellbeing and he asked me how could he make me feel safe and no one ever asked me that and I started to cave in
I wanted to be with him and I thought maybe he would show me what it’s like to be loved… it’s been almost 2 years since we last spoke and I still cry like it happened yesterday because I don’t understand why someone would do that. It crushed me and my mental and emotional wellbeing. I felt disposed, ugly, not good enough
But some stripper who cleans with 2 kids has a ring…and I can’t be loved by him? Why am I not enough
Listen. I'm sorry he switched up on you, and I know it hurts that you gave him your trust and he crushed it. That's definitely wrong. But 2 years is a long time to still be holding on to someone who is not holding on to you. That's a lot of baggage that's bad for your own heart and mental health - it's just making things worse.
Apparently that stripper is no longer good enough if they're getting divorced, so there is your answer. But you are good enough for somebody out there, you just haven't met them yet.
I just wanted to be with him…. But you’re right 😔
Hang in there. Forget about that guy and get out there doing things and enjoying yourself. It gets better with time.
Why would she lie about it though?
Maybe because since they're getting divorced they are now "friends" in a way. But either way, it should not matter to you at all anymore. Don't let your life and your focus be depleted on being preoccupied with a guy who's not even right for you.