Do shy girls regret rejecting a guy? Do they do anything about it?

[Anonymous]

there’s this girl at work I have major crush on talked to her as much I could since we don’t work in the same department. Whenever I would run into her she gave off shy cute vibes with good eye contact and I felt a spark. So after continuous interactions I eventually built up the courage to ask her to have lunch together. And she said “I’m good” with a nervous smile. And then she proceeded to completely avoid me for about 2 months.

Then I noticed during lunch she would sit in areas that she can see and observe me but I couldn’t see her. So one day I decided to talk to another girl when she was around cause I knew her from talking to her before. She was laughing have a good time blushing and I noticed my work crush that rejected me was staring at us the whole time and gave off some jealous energy. She followed up the next day by sitting with a guy and they both kept looking at me to see if I was looking at them and I didn’t pay any mind since they sit with each other from time to time but I could tell it was some jealousy involved. Then when that didn’t work she avoided me for a little more.

Then out of no where when I was in lunch it’s an open area with a bunch of seating options she came and sat right next to my table and was staring at me the whole time while putting her stuff down adjusting her hair and side eyeing me. I did not acknowledge her since I wanted to respect her boundaries and the rejection it’s work so I’m not gonna push it and make someone uncomfortable if I’m reading it wrong.

And now whenever she sees me she just stares at me very hard and when I look back at her she doesn’t even look away. Not sure if this her showing she regrets rejecting me and wants to give it another go and scared that I might reject her back. But since that one time she sat next to me I think she’s scared of doing it again. I’d love to give it another go but I don’t wanna force it. Waiting for natural run in so I can at least say hey and break this awkwardness she created

Updates

7 mo

I didn’t talk to the other girl in front of her to intentionally make her jealous, they work in different departments and I know her from helping her on a previous day and we’re talking about Halloween. I don't know why everyone is so harsh on me saying I’m delusional or that I fucked it up.

[HollyK21]

You don’t realize how awkward you’ve made it? You did a full 180 from intentional interactions with her to nothing at all after being rejected. You could’ve kept things the same just as a friend but you sound like the type to where it’s all or nothing, you won’t be “friendzoned”.


I think you lack self awareness to the point you don’t notice yourself stealing glances at her or acting hyper-aware of her presence, like you keep catching her looking but don’t recognize/acknowledge that she’s catching you as well. You’ve just made it a really uncomfortable environment all because you didn’t know how to handle the rejection maturely. Yeah she was most likely venting to her other coworker and pointing you out because now you’re avoiding her like the plague after asking her for a lunch date. She probably feels bad when she shouldn’t have to at all.


In any case, don’t ask a woman out if you aren’t ready to be wrong about what you thought was going on, like you thought she was trying to be suggestive or show interest in you but that wasn’t the case and it shouldn’t be such a case of being in denial like this before accepting facts. I say you’re in denial because you’ll probably reject myself or others saying you were wrong and feel certain that she’s playing games or something and that’s not it.

[Asker]

I didn’t avoid her at all. She avoided me and anywhere I could possibly be at for 2 months.

[Asker]

I wanted to interact again like before but she avoided me like the plague

[SueShe]

I think that you are overthinking the entire issue. Remember that you have a massive crush on her and you analyze every little detail she does as being potentially relevant to your one-sided infatuation.

I don't think that she does regret rejecting you and I don't think that she would be that shy or introvert as not to address you if she wanted to. You give her the space she needs but you obviously are not over her since you analyze her behavior so thoroughly.

Forget about that lady and concentrate on your job and not on possible interaction with a coworker that is not of professional nature. That will only lead to problems at work.

[Asker]

I thought I was over her until I notice her staring at me all the time but doesn’t even come near me

[Nikki1989]

You know you screwed up big time?

[Asker]

How so?

[Anonymous]

Are you in high school? Smh

[Anonymous]

How old are u both?