As a woman, do you think you can love a man who has self harm scars that he's not willing to talk about at all?

[Anonymous]

[ammar12343]

Clearly not a woman, but the red flag is that you're not willing to talk about them. Own it and say I was depressed for x or y reasons and went to a dark place, but I did this overcome it. Treat it as a part of your story that built you into the person you are today and how you grew from that. If you're not willing to talk about it, then it says that you're still fragile and have emotional issues. Women want a man who they can lean on and help regulate their own emotions. The only types of men who can get away with this are the extremely attractive artist and musicians types, and that age window is small. It's not a good look.

[Asker]

MHO...

[Twalli]

Depending on the scars, they may not really be that noticeable. I went to a camp where most people had some self-harm scars. They were almost unnoticeable. If the person just has scars, it may be over and done with.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I am not so sure about that. I would expect that when I am with someone that they would be honest and share everything with me as I would be the one person they could talk to even if they don't share it with anyone else. If they can't then they are not going to be honest about other things they feel are off topic to me and the trust would be broken. You can't build a relationship on a lack of trust. Sorry.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It depends on if that’s because he trusts his therapist or not

[Asker]

Not even to a therapist or parents

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, I’m not dating a man with serious psychological issues who thinks suppression is the only way to handle it. My job is not to save a man who thinks only a girlfriend can save him.

[Asker]

Understandable