How can I stop being "goofy"?

[Anonymous]

How can I stop being "goofy"?

Ive been told by my friends that I sound too "goofy" when I talk to girls.

Yesterday I talked with my friends and my friend John said I wish I had your courage to approach girls. I replied I wish I had your conversation skills to keep them interested and convo flowing. In reply I was told that I should stop being goofy and everyone nodded.

[may04]

I like goofy personally- and as long as you're able to give the other persona change to ask/answer I don't see why that would be a problem...Even if it's a little lame. You can even point out that you're being lame-might make her laugh

[Simple-Simonette]

Can you specify your conversational skills? Do you joke and laugh a lot? Make inappropriate comments with the intention of being funny? That's what I associate with goofiness ...

[Asker]

Ive noticed that I am always trying to hard to keep the conversation going. I ask questions and make comments. Some question are seriously lame like "do you come here often". I do try hard to make things funny. Some are really funny while others are boring 50/50. I guess I am not confident when I encounter silences.

[Simple-Simonette]

The best conversations I've had are ones that both people are contributing but still listen to what the other has to say. Filling in silences means your just talking to talk - not really sincere. Pay attention to what people are saying and try to stay relevant to the conversation. I like a man with a sense of humor - but like anything else moderation is the key. I think people are more impressed with someone who listens attentively than anything else.

[Anonymous]

You said that you try hard. Stop doing that. Stop trying so hard and you'll become less goofy

[NotSoBad]

screw what everyone else thinks. Be yourself. They have classes for speaking maybe you should take one. You probably just need more confidence when you speak. Say what you mean with some strength and belief behind it.

[Asker]

I appreciate everyone who spends their time to critique me because it makes me a better person. I've noticed that my questions or jokes may sound lame at times. So changes are coming...

[Morningglory3]

Find a girl who likes your goofiness.

[Asker]

I don't like it myself...

[Morningglory3]

That's how you are naturally. Can you give us examples?

[Asker]

Ive noticed that I am always trying to hard to keep the conversation going. I ask questions and make comments. Some question are seriously lame like "do you come here often". I do try hard to make things funny. Some are really funny while others are boring 50/50. I guess I am not confident when I encounter silences.

I also noticed that I talk 60% of the time. Now I am getting into a habbit of asking What, Why, How questions.

[Morningglory3]

As long as you are listening to what the other person is saying and not just thinking of what you will say next, you are probably doing fine. Not everyone is going to like you. Chandler from Friends is goofy and a great character.

[clock-radio]

Ask whoever said that, not the internet.