I want a trophy-boyfriend but do I really deserve it?

[Anonymous]

First of all, I'm not that vain to only look for hot guys. I know the difference between a hot guy and a good guy and what I want from him. I want someone I can rely on. Someone I can trust and open up with. Have a serious relationship with lots of affection, caring and companionship.

But the thing is, I really want to get a good looking guy as boyfriend. He doesn't need to be awesome. Just from average to good looking.

I was bullied a lot in school for the way I looked and dressed and now that I grew out of that I want someone I can show off. Someone who won't get me insecure/embarrassed for the way he looks or dresses.

But there comes another insecurity... If he is too good looking I will spend a life in fear that he find someone better looking than me.

I've heard a lot of compliments online... guys say I'm sexy/ hot/ have gorgeous eyes and smile and body... but I still can't see this new me. I still have the body I don't like and that makes me deeply insecure.

So... There's this guy I'm interested in. He's older (6years and a half older than me) and more mature than the guys I've liked before. He is also religious, what made him still be waiting for ''the one'' plus he has a serious job (he has been in military service for almost 9years). He's 6ft and really fit too. (in my opinion) he has a kind of prince charming look link and he is really nice to me and have flirted with me a lot in the past few days (he even said he got to the place he knew I was just to see me)

And me?

well, I'm 5ft3. super skinny. I would be wearing something smaller than a A cup bra if that existed. I think of myself as a boring and not interesting person - because I tend to be quiet and not show how smart I really am. and I have really low self-esteem.

I really want that guy, but I don't know if I deserve such person :(

[blumercury]

Hm. I think that I have the same problem as you kind of. I keep thinking that the guys I like are too good for me because they never choose me or something always goes wrong, but the ones that like me are not attractive to me or I feel embarrassed by them.

Right now you just have to learn to be secure with yourself because otherwise you will constantly feel inadequate and worried that he will choose someone else. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I think I'm boring to others because I don't know how to show them my true self. But once you're confident, it won't matter. If it makes you feel any better, I have this friend who is just like you: skinny, 5'3, small chest, kind of shy and quiet. She likes reading and doesn't drink a whole bunch or go out a lot. But she married our mutual friend and he thinks she is amazing and loves that she reads and likes being at home because he likes being at home too. And when he wants to study the whole day rather than hang out with her, she studies or does her own thing. They appreciate each other for being able to deal with each other.

You just have to be yourself and know that if he is right for you it will work out no matter what you do. And if it's not right it won't work out no matter what you do. So just do what you usually do and enjoy your time with him and let him worry about whether YOU will like HIM or not.

For sure you deserve the guy you like. But I think you should see a therapist if you can because you don't want to carry all of your baggage and insecurities into a new relationship, you know? You should get some help feeling better about yourself so you can feel good about other people too. You don't need to feel guilty, like you don't deserve something, like you're not pretty enough, like you've got nothing going for you. Have you seen some of the weirdos who find their perfect loves? You can too haha.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat. Random people have called me a supermodel but when hot guys pay attention to me, I can't handle it. I avoid them. /:

[Asker]

that's exactly what I did till this one showed up :\

[Opinion Owner]

/: I hate it. One paid attention to me for a year too

[evenlift]

How would you measure whether you 'deserve' someone/something or not? The whole concept is subjective.

Just tell him that you're interested. Fear is holding you back.

I'm a guy, and I have the same problem of not being able to judge my attractiveness. Even when girls have told me that I'm 'hot' or 'cute', I haven't quite believed them.

[RoyalCopenhagen]

I'll be your trophy BF; If Fabio and JFK Jr had a baby, that's what I would look like (theres some balding, and a slight pot belly, not too much though) ; )

[Anonymous]

Who doesn't want a trophy partner? Everything is about looks and money today. No one cares about the person attached to the trophy face or body. The divorce rate is 50% and reality television and social media have destroyed dating and made everyone entitled. If you have really low self-esteem, people will notice that and will stay away. We only live once! Work on loving yourself and love will find you.

[Anonymous]

you know what they say about "if you have to ask"

so no you probably don't deserve that kind of person but you can still ask anybody out...

[Anonymous]

Everybody wants that. But like a typical girl you need approval from the public over your wants.

[rogaortega]

have you turned your back on what you used to be?

[Anonymous]

Stop being so shallow and get on with it.