How do I get a shy guy to take the lead?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy through a friend and we clicked instantly, hit it off really well. My friend works with him, so she occasionally talks to him about me, asking him how he feels and things because he's hard to read. He told her he likes me but he's just not very good at "those kinds of things" and I that makes sense because he's quite shy. Problem is I'm also shy and I've been messed around so many times I'm frightened that I might scare him away or that I may be barking up the wrong tree all together. I just can't see why he would like me. We haven't known each other long and have only been talking for about 2 months but rarely see each other. I'm just trying to get to know him, I don't want to rush into anything but I have no idea where to start.

I spent the night with him at his place after a night out with friends, we didn't sleep together or do anything sexual (he actually respected that I wasn't ready to take it further) just kissed, cuddled and talked a lot. He let me borrow his hoodie the next day because it was cold out and I only had what I wore the night before. I have no idea when I'll see him again, not sure if I should text him and ask him on a date or just to talk. I'm so confused.

The other thing is he wants to get a job transfer and go back home, which is an hour away from where I live. If he leaves would this still work, or do you think I would have to know him better and longer for it to be possible?

It's so frustrating when you meet someone who is your type but you don't what to do about it or how some one feels ugghhh! SO I don't know what to do and I'd really appreciate some help on this :)

[asdaven]

Im a shy guy, but def become a strong leader when I'm comfortable with a girl. You need to make him feel comfortable, that if he takes the lead, that you ll have his back and be faithful to him. Most girls think if a guy likes a girl enough, he will goto any extent to get her. This is untrue in reality. Especially shy guys will clam up and become extrenely shy when he likes a girl. Its the same feelings girls get when they really like a guy. My main source of nervous ness on a date is I know girls are more observant and I feel my every move and actions is being analyzed and judge. Not that I have anything to hide, but it just makes me nervous. And I'm always trying to hide nervousness then the girl calls me out on it and then I get more nervous. Give him feedback, show you like him and he can trust you, show him your not a shallow girl and you like him for who he is. Like all those things to make him more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

build a comfortable relationship with him, where he won't feel nervous and second guess himself. you cud even take the initiative if you want, that's how my ex girlfriend got me. she asked mutual friends for my number and started talking to me all the time and asking me to hang out. eventually I got comfortable enough where I wasn't nervous and was confident whenever I was with her. just act like you care more about what he thinks and how he feels than the other people your with and hell take notice. in our group of friends, my ex would always ask where I wanted to eat, what movie I wanted to watch, etc.

[frenchiefry]

I am in the same situation as this girl is. The guy I have been interested in and seeing-- is very shy. I have taken initiative and made all sorts of moves, but I am not getting anywhere. I think this guy could be the one. I have such strong feelings for him and I want to tell him. Problem is, I am shy as well. I want to spend time with him. I text, ask him to hang out, try to make plans, and yet he works all the time.. not sure what to do. I am trying now to flirt a lot with him-- seems to work

[angel1142]

You guys kissed already so you're goooood! It's all good, all fine, regardless him going home or not you can make it happen ;). You know 1h away is nothing...i drive 1h30min to go to school :s...

So I get you still have his hoodie, haven't you? Because it's the perfect excuse for you to text him: text him a thank you message, how awesome it was to have his warm hoodie that morning and that you would really like to give it back to him in person. Ask him at that point if you could have some time together, hang out or whatever you wanna say about what you'd like that time to be...

It's gonna be OK ;).

[Anonymous]

just take it slow and focus on making a connection.

[Racez]

Talk to him a lot. Text him.

Let him know what your feelings for him are.

Also, ask him to hang out again with you.