It seems its derived from a sense of insecurity guys have that make girls feel insecure themselves but they assign the fears based on natural survival instinct, its mirror psychology which is a real thing, often they will associate it with threatening behavior in some shape or form or they might not want to deal with the possibility that this dude is going to be hitting on them and they have to deal with a complex situation over and over WHICH THEY ARE ALOUD TO DO. Reason being women are vulnerable in ways guys don't get, guys don't feel that type of fear in most cases so they don't understand it. I can however empathize with the awful feeling of being creepy especially in a small town where I was the town creep and seemed to be a bit of a social outcast. Because ladies equally dont understand being a guy, guys that do this already are insecure and socially unsuccessful and the whole gossipy thing especially in a small town CAN put the whole world against you (yes it can) enough word spread the guy can become the creep (and you won't understand that feeling). This is EVEN IF YOU aren't TRYING TO PICK GIRLS UP. Worrying about the movement of your hands your facial expressions doing everything you can to not appear as that guy even in as simple as a setting as a short order restaurant in more extreme cases. How are women not going to feel threatened should they stop labeling you as that? They probably WILL end up getting raped or actual creepy guys may take advantage of it, LOTS OF CREEPY GUYS EXIST SO THEY HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. Should they be more honest and tell you about how your being creepy? In probably half the scenarios they'll be called out on the spot as the insecure guys will argue there point on why they aren't creepy and demonize the girl in front of everyone, there will be conflict and a definite scary situation. Should they gossip? well thats kind of a virtue to uphold, probably no unless they fear for their friends safety. Honestly its a tricky situation I think the best solution is to look deep inside yourself and practice social interaction and picking up ques also not lingering if you can't hold back the weird. Both guys and gals need to be more understanding that they don't really get it, this coming from a bi guy thats been hit on by dudes and feeling the creepy, but also relating to them as I've done similar shit. if you wanna be social you gotta learn to be social and you're gonna go through a lot of shit to achieve it.
Women are conditioned from a young age to think they are the most important thing in the world and if someone is to blame for something, its always the guy that has the problem. The term creepy, although its been around a long time, has really been used a lot by women lately to the point of being overused. There will be a couple of generations of women that will be able to find sex but never a meaningful relationship because of how shallow they are. Maybe women in the future will realize that guys aren't here for their entertainment and deserve appreciation for the things that really matter in life, not just how smooth of a talker or how good of a liar he is.
All I can say is good luck to these women, and any guy that gets caught up with one of these inconsiderate women needs to cut all contact with them.
You said it all in your questions "socially awkward" men. I'm not saying they INTEND to make women uncomfortable, but often because they don't understand social cues they come off as "creepy" in their advances.
I have had this happen to me before- this very quiet guy was friends with a classmate/friend of mine and would sometimes sit in the common lounge at our university with us between classes. He rarely said anything, but would kind of look at me for longer than normal sometimes. Then one day, we're talking about Facebook and shy guy gets up, goes to a table, and starts using his computer. I didn't think anything of it at first, figured he was just doing some work or whatever. Ten minutes later, he comes back, sits beside me, and says "so you're from _____ and went to ____ high school?". That's weird and it made me uncomfortable, you might even say creeped me out.
Yes, I know I posted those things online for everyone to see and in general I don't care if they know them. But it's just weird to go online and search information about a person then bring it up in a conversation with no lead in. It makes a girl feel stalked, like he's watching her, searching for information instead of just asking for it.
Now, I'm 99% sure this guy had no nefarious intentions, was only trying to start a conversation with me and wasn't sure how to go about it. I get that- he wasn't trying to make me uncomfortable or freak me out, but his lack of social skills caused him to go about talking to me in a way that made me uncomfortable spending time with him. I know no harm of him, but from that point on, my visceral reaction was enough to make me keep my distance.
So- short answer, the reason "shy, socially awkward" guys get called creepy is simply because their approach often unintentionally goes against certain social/behavioural codes and comes across as unsettling to women. You're right, it doesn't make them bad people, often they're nice enough, but as women, we tend to trust our instincts and if you do/say something that sets our instinctive "threat" radar off, we're not likely to pursue even casual contact. Sorry, but it's true.
I agree with you on that but other times when shy guys don't stare, or anything like that and are just keeping to themselves they get called weird or something.One time a girl in High School whispered to a guy saying that she thought I was a weird guy.He responded,asking why.She responded back saying it is because I don't talk.I do talk and she heard me talk but I only talked back then when it had to do with school stuff,when I had no choice but to talk.She was talking about me not socializing.
Why do young women call shy,socially awkward men creepy?
Most likely because she found his behavior/words creepy as in it made her unsettled, uncomfortable, or scared.
"Most shy guys are nice and it is mean that many young women think bad things about them."
Bit curious as to the credible evidence for this claim as I often find when serial killers/rapists/mass murderers are spoken of it goes like this: 'he was such a shy/quiet guy;.
"Even though if they aren't being creepy"
Egh likely they were being creepy if they are socially awkward as socially awkward often means lacking knowledge in social skills, facial expressions, and body language reasonably meaning one may not be aware that someone is unsettled, uncomfortable or scared in their presence. It seems quite off to me that guys seem to have this quite narrow definition of what creepy is often being extreme illegal behaviors and seem to think guys can dictate to gals what gals should find creepy. Since in my opinion the one experiencing the behavior is probably more suited to determine if it's creepy to her or not.
Of course there are some serial killers,etc. who are shy but most shy people aren't serial killers.I agree that socially awkward people do act strange sometimes when trying to be social but they aren't being creepy.A creep is a guy who is being like a jerk not a good guy who is acting nervous when trying to not be shy when talking to women.He is not insulting them or being mean to them or anything like that. Some people are just shy.It is their personality.That is just the way they are.
Again they are being creepy if the person experiencing the strange behavior finds it creepy.
Egh you may perceive a creep as a guy who is being like a jerk however the seemingly general definition of creep is someone who causes an unpleasant feeling of unease or fear.
Again this seems not to be a case of gals being mean or hypocritical but you wanting to dictate what gals find creepy and that's quite unreasonable.
I have been called weird by a girl in High School just because I didn't socialize.I heard her whisper to a guy that she thought I was weird and the guy responded asking why, and she said it is because I don't talk.I do talk and she knows it but only when I had to for like school stuff.She was referring to me not socializing.Now tell me is it fair for her to call me weird just because I didn't socialize?
It's fair of her because she has freedom of speech and by definition someone who is unusual. Most people socialize as humans are generally social creatures so she was technically correct in calling you weird for not socializing.
Likely what she meant by you don't talk is that you don't talk in social events as talking for school stuff at school doesn't really count as talking to her.
edit:
It's fair of her because she has freedom of speech and weird by a definition is someone who is unusual. Most people socialize as humans are generally social creatures so she was technically correct in calling you weird for not socializing.
Likely what she meant by you don't talk is that you don't talk in social events as talking for school stuff at school doesn't really count as talking to her.
Its not hypocrisy...when will guys on this site GET IT. If you are socially awkward,then WORK on your confidence. Why? Because first impressions are what often STICKS to ones memory of YOU. The same would be true if I was having a bad day and I turned around and was a complete bitch to someone for no reason at all. That person would continue on thinking I am a terrible person,but in reality I may have some anger issues or not know how to deal with things properly. Should I then expect that person to automatically think I'm a nice person etc when I have shown them something else? Exactly.
Girls often don't go for guys that lack self esteem. Its unattractive and may potentially cause problems in the future if you DO decide to date. What's wrong with having criteria for what you want in a partner? Secondly,guys here need to stop placing blame on the GIRLS for not being attracted to them. Either you are attracted to someone,or you aren't...PERIOD.
The best either party can do is be their best selves and keep it moving. Hopefully eventually that person will find a partner...flaws and all.
There is a difference between not being attracted to someone and belittling them.
If someone deems someone as "creepy" there is nothing wrong with that if that is their opinion and I'd that is how they are coming off. That is NOT belittling to them. If their actions are creepy,then its creepy and awkward to that person. Its time to stop being overly sensitive and take responsibility for short comings.
We are talking about BEHAVIOR here. That might be over your head QA and narc-slayer because you see it as a person just being..."shy" But others might see your behavior as creepy or off putting.Clearly we have a difference of opinions and that's okay.No one said you were criticizing women who reject guys,HOWEVER the wording of your question seems that way since you're saying these women are being "hypothetical"..That sounds like criticizing to me. Anyway,this is my opinion and I'm sticking
to it. If you don't like it or understand it,try rereading it a few times. I am also aware that this question may not be about you specifically. But it might also be about you,that is maybe why you're so defensive about it. Either way good luck. I think my opinion is just that...an opinion. If a persons behavior is perceived as creepy,then that their opinion. Its not about being "nice" or "shy". I had a guy almost follow me home trying to "talk" to me as I headed home from work. Who cares if he
on a regular basis is SHY. All I knew was this guy was following me home and I was about to drop kick he hell out of him if he didn't stop. Was that behavior "creepy"? You're damn right it was. Do I care how socially awkward he is or might be on a regular basis? NO. Why? Because his first impression to me was CREEPY and AWKWARD and made me feel more than uncomfortable. So,behavior and first impressions are everything. Not everyone is receptive to certain behaviors whether a guy is shy or not
correction: "hypocritical"
You still don't understand my question.Of course a guy who follows a woman is creepy. I was talking if a guy is in a party and a guy is by himself.He is not talking to anyone and he is not staring at anyone either.He is acting fine.He is just by himself and not socializing with other people and other women say''Look at that creep.'' That is what I mean.I am talking about shy guys who get called creepy just for the sole reason they are not socializing.
I understand what you're speaking of...STILL it has everything to do with behavior whether you are standing alone or interacting with someone else. We should agree to disagree because I believe my response is explained pretty well but take care.
@narc-slayer it depends. And yes, most often, a shy guy trying to talk (to women, even) can come off as creepy.
What you fail to understand is that you can't tell someone how they feel, JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL DIFFERENTLY ABOUT IT!
Opinion
3Opinion
I asked a similar question not even a day ago. It has a lot to do with their limited perspective and their inability to look through the eyes of the guy and empathize with him. Also, their limited vocabulary plays a part because they can't properly describe what actually took place. One of the answers to my question made a very good point in that men's approaches and sex drive have become so demonized and looked down upon that if the girl doesn't have an innate attraction to you, all they'll see are those negative qualities society has imparted into their psyche.
My theory is that its is to make themselves appear to be wanted by these guys in front of other people to show that they are desirable even when they appear to be not wanting to be asked out. It might be a social climbing strategy to attract more mates and also means a higher social status amongst her friends. I think this is partly a reason. Humans are horribly selfish when analysed at a deeper level. I have been told by girls who I have suspected of having a crush towards me that they are pursued by males and they have to "bat them off". I have often thought that the reason was to make them appear more desirable so my jealousy causes me to ask them out sooner. So in the end I think it comes down to an underlying strategy fueled by the selfish nature of human beings. Of course this is just my theory.
Who cares? Face it, females don't have to whore themselves out to every guy out there just because males are over horny.
I don't care about you, john, larry, moe, curly, bob, durk, drufus, dustin, and dan.
Really I only have room for one guy in my life.
Does that make sense to you?
Justin, George, Adam, Jack, That one guy, that other guy, his friend, the guy driving by in the car, the guy in the bar, the boss, the janitor, the others.
WE ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING APPROACHED WHEN WE DONT WANT TO BE BOTHERED IT MAKES US UNCOMFORTABLE, JUST BECAUSE WE EXIST IN THE WORLD DOESN'T MEAN WE AUTOMATICALLY ARE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU. MOST OF THE TIME WE ARE NOT INTERESTED. We want to be able to live our lives without every horny dude which is all of them pestering us. This is why we like to have a big mean looking boyfriend/husband with us because then other guys finally leave us the hell alone.
That wasn't the question.I wasn't saying why do women reject men,I was saying why do women call shy guys creepy just for not being social,and why do women call these guys creeps when they finally have the courage to approach them even though if they weren't creepy in their approach and they approached fine.I am not saying they shouldn't have rejected them I just saying why do they call them creepy when they have the courage to approach and the approach wasn't creepy.
When women call a guy creepy it means unattractive.
That's immature.
Women can be cruel, but to be fair lots of men are too. Don't bother with the snobby ones they usually end up lonely when they get old.
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