It seems its derived from a sense of insecurity guys have that make girls feel insecure themselves but they assign the fears based on natural survival instinct, its mirror psychology which is a real thing, often they will associate it with threatening behavior in some shape or form or they might not want to deal with the possibility that this dude is going to be hitting on them and they have to deal with a complex situation over and over WHICH THEY ARE ALOUD TO DO. Reason being women are vulnerable in ways guys don't get, guys don't feel that type of fear in most cases so they don't understand it. I can however empathize with the awful feeling of being creepy especially in a small town where I was the town creep and seemed to be a bit of a social outcast. Because ladies equally dont understand being a guy, guys that do this already are insecure and socially unsuccessful and the whole gossipy thing especially in a small town CAN put the whole world against you (yes it can) enough word spread the guy can become the creep (and you won't understand that feeling). This is EVEN IF YOU aren't TRYING TO PICK GIRLS UP. Worrying about the movement of your hands your facial expressions doing everything you can to not appear as that guy even in as simple as a setting as a short order restaurant in more extreme cases. How are women not going to feel threatened should they stop labeling you as that? They probably WILL end up getting raped or actual creepy guys may take advantage of it, LOTS OF CREEPY GUYS EXIST SO THEY HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. Should they be more honest and tell you about how your being creepy? In probably half the scenarios they'll be called out on the spot as the insecure guys will argue there point on why they aren't creepy and demonize the girl in front of everyone, there will be conflict and a definite scary situation. Should they gossip? well thats kind of a virtue to uphold, probably no unless they fear for their friends safety. Honestly its a tricky situation I think the best solution is to look deep inside yourself and practice social interaction and picking up ques also not lingering if you can't hold back the weird. Both guys and gals need to be more understanding that they don't really get it, this coming from a bi guy thats been hit on by dudes and feeling the creepy, but also relating to them as I've done similar shit. if you wanna be social you gotta learn to be social and you're gonna go through a lot of shit to achieve it.
Women are conditioned from a young age to think they are the most important thing in the world and if someone is to blame for something, its always the guy that has the problem. The term creepy, although its been around a long time, has really been used a lot by women lately to the point of being overused. There will be a couple of generations of women that will be able to find sex but never a meaningful relationship because of how shallow they are. Maybe women in the future will realize that guys aren't here for their entertainment and deserve appreciation for the things that really matter in life, not just how smooth of a talker or how good of a liar he is.
All I can say is good luck to these women, and any guy that gets caught up with one of these inconsiderate women needs to cut all contact with them.
You said it all in your questions "socially awkward" men. I'm not saying they INTEND to make women uncomfortable, but often because they don't understand social cues they come off as "creepy" in their advances.
I have had this happen to me before- this very quiet guy was friends with a classmate/friend of mine and would sometimes sit in the common lounge at our university with us between classes. He rarely said anything, but would kind of look at me for longer than normal sometimes. Then one day, we're talking about Facebook and shy guy gets up, goes to a table, and starts using his computer. I didn't think anything of it at first, figured he was just doing some work or whatever. Ten minutes later, he comes back, sits beside me, and says "so you're from _____ and went to ____ high school?". That's weird and it made me uncomfortable, you might even say creeped me out.
Yes, I know I posted those things online for everyone to see and in general I don't care if they know them. But it's just weird to go online and search information about a person then bring it up in a conversation with no lead in. It makes a girl feel stalked, like he's watching her, searching for information instead of just asking for it.
Now, I'm 99% sure this guy had no nefarious intentions, was only trying to start a conversation with me and wasn't sure how to go about it. I get that- he wasn't trying to make me uncomfortable or freak me out, but his lack of social skills caused him to go about talking to me in a way that made me uncomfortable spending time with him. I know no harm of him, but from that point on, my visceral reaction was enough to make me keep my distance.
So- short answer, the reason "shy, socially awkward" guys get called creepy is simply because their approach often unintentionally goes against certain social/behavioural codes and comes across as unsettling to women. You're right, it doesn't make them bad people, often they're nice enough, but as women, we tend to trust our instincts and if you do/say something that sets our instinctive "threat" radar off, we're not likely to pursue even casual contact. Sorry, but it's true.
Why do young women call shy,socially awkward men creepy?
Most likely because she found his behavior/words creepy as in it made her unsettled, uncomfortable, or scared.
"Most shy guys are nice and it is mean that many young women think bad things about them."
Bit curious as to the credible evidence for this claim as I often find when serial killers/rapists/mass murderers are spoken of it goes like this: 'he was such a shy/quiet guy;.
"Even though if they aren't being creepy"
Egh likely they were being creepy if they are socially awkward as socially awkward often means lacking knowledge in social skills, facial expressions, and body language reasonably meaning one may not be aware that someone is unsettled, uncomfortable or scared in their presence. It seems quite off to me that guys seem to have this quite narrow definition of what creepy is often being extreme illegal behaviors and seem to think guys can dictate to gals what gals should find creepy. Since in my opinion the one experiencing the behavior is probably more suited to determine if it's creepy to her or not.
Its not hypocrisy...when will guys on this site GET IT. If you are socially awkward,then WORK on your confidence. Why? Because first impressions are what often STICKS to ones memory of YOU. The same would be true if I was having a bad day and I turned around and was a complete bitch to someone for no reason at all. That person would continue on thinking I am a terrible person,but in reality I may have some anger issues or not know how to deal with things properly. Should I then expect that person to automatically think I'm a nice person etc when I have shown them something else? Exactly.
Girls often don't go for guys that lack self esteem. Its unattractive and may potentially cause problems in the future if you DO decide to date. What's wrong with having criteria for what you want in a partner? Secondly,guys here need to stop placing blame on the GIRLS for not being attracted to them. Either you are attracted to someone,or you aren't...PERIOD.
The best either party can do is be their best selves and keep it moving. Hopefully eventually that person will find a partner...flaws and all.
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I asked a similar question not even a day ago. It has a lot to do with their limited perspective and their inability to look through the eyes of the guy and empathize with him. Also, their limited vocabulary plays a part because they can't properly describe what actually took place. One of the answers to my question made a very good point in that men's approaches and sex drive have become so demonized and looked down upon that if the girl doesn't have an innate attraction to you, all they'll see are those negative qualities society has imparted into their psyche.
My theory is that its is to make themselves appear to be wanted by these guys in front of other people to show that they are desirable even when they appear to be not wanting to be asked out. It might be a social climbing strategy to attract more mates and also means a higher social status amongst her friends. I think this is partly a reason. Humans are horribly selfish when analysed at a deeper level. I have been told by girls who I have suspected of having a crush towards me that they are pursued by males and they have to "bat them off". I have often thought that the reason was to make them appear more desirable so my jealousy causes me to ask them out sooner. So in the end I think it comes down to an underlying strategy fueled by the selfish nature of human beings. Of course this is just my theory.
Who cares? Face it, females don't have to whore themselves out to every guy out there just because males are over horny.
I don't care about you, john, larry, moe, curly, bob, durk, drufus, dustin, and dan.
Really I only have room for one guy in my life.
Does that make sense to you?
When women call a guy creepy it means unattractive.
Women can be cruel, but to be fair lots of men are too. Don't bother with the snobby ones they usually end up lonely when they get old.
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