Disclaimer:
This is NOT supposed to offend or hurt anyone's feelings/belief or whatever. This IS supposed to be a nice and funny myTake. However, if you feel hurt, I can't help you, but I can surely help you laugh. Smiling is all we need. And a bit of cash. And a bit of luck.
GaG FAQ!
For all those who don't know what a FAQ is, it stands for "Frequently Asked Questions". I know you've seen these little FAQ documents before. Yes. I know you have. Yes. Inside the main folder or the little naughty things you download through pirate websites. Yes. You.
This is little collection of some of the most frequently asked questions that we see on a regular basis here in GaG. I thought about collecting them all, or most of them, in a little myTake. The analysis and answers are a combination of various opinions (including mine) I've seen in response to these questions. I took the liberty of adding a little bit of humour aswell. Remember this is supposed to make some smile, and not curse, but feel free to do so if you want to.
The order is totally random. Anyways. Lets hear it! Enjoy.
1. He looked at me after I kept staring at him for an hour! Does he like me???
This just had to be the first Q (Q stands for Question ok? Good.). Girls mostly ask this. Seriously girl, when 4 eyes meet, it doesn't mean eternally secret love, but mostly luck. So if he just looked at you, he's just curious. However, if he kept staring or smiled, things are different. Go get him as chances are he's too afraid to talk to you first. PS: Don't sound desperate.
2. Boobs or butt???
Another funny Q mostly asked by girls. Chances are the girl asking this is either an A-cup, or has a frying-pan butt. Now, opinions vary, but most of the guys say they like butts, like me. However, girls, we like a nice combination of both. Anything above a "standard butt" and a "standard pair of boobs" is a nice bonus. Need larger boobs? Fake boobs are great and we like it as much as we like natural ones. Need rounder butt? Grab that barbell and squat heavy until you puke. Any don't do what those instagram fit-chicks do. Useless. Plus don't buy "magic" pills and stuff. Also useless. Remember, if your buttcrap doesn't get sweaty, it won't get bubblier.
3. Why are all men [insert ANY random bad word here]???
All time classic. You can't accuse every living thing with a penis just because your guy happened to screw your cousin. And you mom. And your bestfriend. And your sister.... Thats like calling every girl a slut. Everyone is different and sorry to tell you, but if guys keep screwing you over, chances are you're not doing something right.... If guys tuly liked you, they wouldn't risk fooling around only to lose you for an inferior side-chick.
4. Who should pay for the first date???
A ton of opinions here... The rule of thumb is: The one asking MUST be prepared to pay everything or it may get awkward. However, this can be arranged before the actual date. Anyways, some people don't agree to this (like the girly girl that thinks her prince charming must pay or the manly man that thinks he owns the girl and he has to pay for everything etc) but I'm talking common sense here, and not tradition or whatever. ("whatever" is probably my favorite word huh?)
5. Is 11" length and 9" girth enough to satisfy a girl???
No, but if you're not careful and suddenly turn around, she's bound to lose a tooth or two.... Seriously. Lay off the porn my friend. Size matters but NOT as much as you think. Most experienced girls will admit that a nice big d1ck is always a bonus but the most important thing about a d1ck is the guy attached to it and his lust to make you see the stars. Seriously. Lay off the porn. Yes. Close the anonymous tab right now. The other one too. Good. Now go to your girl and show her your d1ck. She will be more than happy to see it. Trust me.
Now if you're a girl asking this, or something similar, chances are you have no idea how sex works. You should stop watching porn and listening to useless girl-squad advice. A famous porn star once said: "I can give your girl a lot more pleasure using those 2 fingers than you could ever give her even if you had the best d1ck in the whole world." I bet she's right.
6. What do you think about feminism???
Lets keep it simple. A lot of good AND bad things are caused by feminism. Do your own research. Not here as there are a few hardcore feminists and anti-feminists lurking around. Read a book. Something accurate and based on facts.
7. Rate this girl, which is totally not me???
OOOOOooook. Lets rate a random, and not you, of course, girl. Seriously though. We all know, including your parents, that this is you and not your friend, cousin, lover, fav porn star (what?) etc. Expect to hear a lot of good opinions when you post something like that. Unfortunately most are fake and just trying to wipe those tear of your insecure face. Be ready to take a hit though as there are people here, icluding me as you might already know, that don't pet and just speak the truth, no matter how hard it is. My ,and almost everyone's, advice is to just ask: Rate me, be honest. Doing otherwise smells insecurity all the way, and we don't like it. Better chubby than insecure. Trust me. Either accept the way you look or do something about it.
8. Are all girls bisexual???
Because all men are bi too. My cat is also bi. Seriously. They are not. Liking a body and wanting to have sexual stuff with it are two totally different things. When a handsome guy passed by, I look at him. I admire him. I don't want to do naughty stuff. I'm not gay, or bi. My girl also likes watching fit-girl videos all the time. It serves as a great motivation to her and she's not plotting a way to kill me and have sex with all those girls (hopefully...). Guys and girls look aroundthe whole time. We are curious beings. It's normal.
9. Is it normal if I wore this (posts diaper image) during sex???
Diaper Wars Volume 2, The Return Of The Three Towers To The King. Ahahah. This guy has given everybody great laughs from time to time. Just when you feel things are getting calm in GaG, this guy pops up and asks this once again, spreading LMAO and YUCK emoticons everywhere. Mate, no. No. No. It's is NOT normal. Most of the people think it's a really weird fetish. I tend to agree. Thankfully, my girl does also...
10. Is it normal if I'm 38 years old and I'm a virgin???
Ok. Lets face it. I don't know if it's normal or not. Only thing I can tell you is that if you said something like that to a girl (or guy of course), there is a minimum 99% chance that she'll think there is something wrong with you, "physical" (if you know what I mean), mental etc. So I guess we can say it's not normal, sorry. However, there are still people that wait for marriage before engaging in any sort of sexual activity, so i guess there are also girls that would totally understand. Most wouldn't though. Girls or even guys.
11. Why does my boyfriend watch porn, he doesn't love me anymore???
We can't say if he loves you or not, not even if he likes you or not. All we know, girls or guys, is that porn is everywhere and anyone likes watching a really hot chick with huge boobs orgasming like crazy (acting... hello...) or a really hot manly dude with a 8 incher screwing the poor little girl next door (that's for you girls, yes we know you DO watch porn too hehehe) and then everyone lived happily ever after. There are many things you can do, first of all TALK with him and find out WHY he likes watching, or jacking off to it. Maybe he (or she, I insist we do know you watch it too) feels the need to sexually release more aften that you. Or the need to have a form of "variety" (better porn than screwing the delivery boy if you ask me), who knows.... Just TALK with him/her. Maybe it turns out really well and you get to learn a lot about some of his/her fetishes, which definitely means MORE and BETTER sex for the both of you.
12. Which race has the hottest girls (uploads various TOP MODEL pics of different races...)???
This Q is mostly followed by a series of really GORGEOUS top models from all over the world. I mean get serious. Of course every guy or girl has a different preference when it comes to race. Some like tall thin women, like russian women. Other like the characteristics (and not only) of the male African race. Get it? It's normal. Like food. Not everyone likes eating the same stuff as you or me. Buuuuuut! Posting pics of the top 10 miss mister world 2017 does not relate to that at all. Heck, half of the pics they post doesn't even look like the race it's supposed to represent. In other words, get real....
13. Do guys like minimal or heavy make-up???
Oh god. The pain my eyes feel when they see this Q. There are even days that I see it like 2-3 times, or more! We prefer minimal (like a bit of mascara and lipstick). Period. We don't care if you are "expressing" yourself, hiding a few weak spots, or just wanting to feel desirable. Minimal. Then we prefer a naturally beautiful face. Then clown make-up. Don't fool yourself, we know what you're doing and even if you fool us when you're far away, when we get close and see the oily face that looks like you lost a paintball match 10 minutes ago, you instantly lose a few points. Plus a girl that uses minimal or no make-up smell confidence from head to toe and THAT is what messes up our system and wants us to be all over you like bees on honey.
14. I'm a virgin and my boyfriend wants a bj. What am I supposed to do. I have no idea. Help???
We could start giving 5 page tutorials here (some people do that) but the best thing to do is: a) open your browser b)type something like "amateur blowjob" (this will cover the amateur and smooth-and-slow side) and c) watch a few videos. d) Then type something like "hardcore blowjob" (this will cover the wild or professinal side). e) Take a lot of notes. If you're indeed a virgin your little vgg will be burning after this so avoid heading to your boyfriend for a few hours (teen mom alert). There you go. After the deed is done, ask your boyfriend for your diploma. Gz. There. And you said porn was useless....
15. Do you prefer virgin over experienced girls???
Again, it depends. I myself, prefer experienced ones. For me virginity is just a hassle. Others believe otherwise and prefer virgin girls. I don't think it's that important to be honest so nobody should worry about it. Plus there are "experienced" girls out there that still have no clue how sex works and virgin ones that are willing to go wild from the first date.
16. Do guys like big or small boobs???
Once more. It's like the "boobs or butt" Q. It depends. it's like a fetish. Some like them huge and bouncy while others like them small, perky and cute. Still, don't worry about it as boobs are boobs and we are always happy to see, kiss or touch them. Don't like them? Change them.
17. We had sex and he came on my feet. My feet were not wearing a condom. Can I be pregnant???
Ahahahaha. This Q has me laughing every single time but also has me worried. Why? Because there are 15 year olds (or older) out there that seriously have no clue about sex and its responsibility. No honey, if he doesn't shoot his magic liquid far into your little vgg, chances (remember I said "chances") are you're not. Anyways, my advice is to do your homework before enganging in any sort of sexual stuff... And asking your teen girly friends does not count. Chances are they're clueless like you. You can also ask your parents. Yes it may be lame but they will be really happy that you're asking for THEIR advice and not improvising. That writes "Responsible vgg" right on your forehead. Plus it's sexy and guys like it when girls know these kinds of stuff.
18. Guys, do you like short or long hair on a girl???
I'll try to answer as simple as possible. We don't care. We like the "whole package". And please spare me the "guys like it long so they can pull it when they 're doing us from the back" cr*p. Even we're having a good time, we will pull your hair even if you're bald. Anyways, some bro-science: girls with short hair are either gorgeous or hideous.
There were a million more funny and weird Qs but I think I posted a lot already. I hope you liked it. If I made you smile in the process, I consider it a success.
The reason I didn't include images in this myTake is because it's already long and I don't want it to become a tiring read.
Feel free to post any Qs I forgot and I may post "FAQ GaG part 2".
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