The story of "The G@G Elite". The Dark Overlords!

*This information is very sensitive, handle with care. *

Once upon a time, G@G was a peaceful and prosperous website. Full of special influencers, who were the moral pillars of the community and it's masses. They casted unsolicited light and virtue upon their followers, bringing allegiance, and agreeability.

But then...

... Along came the EVIL that has spread across G@G. The dreaded evil... Of having different opinions. They are known vaguely as "The G@G Elite" or as the "Keepers of the undesirable."

Nobody actually calls them that, but two influencers said it, so it MUST be true. :D

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These members have produced such evil incarnations, that a myTake from a very popular catfish was able to point them out in immaculate detail.

Or maybe they ranted out of pure irrational bitterness...but who can REALLY say?

I've recently been an undercover member of the 'G@G Elite', and I have since been mining crucial information of their evil organization of Dark G@G Magicians. And I now am able to come forward with all the data I have found.

I'm Sketch, and I'm here to reveal the secrets of those awful and evil G@G members, who get rid of moderators, influencers, and pedophiles!

I'm here to reveal their 5 Dark magic spells, that turn G@G into a horrible and boring place.

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5 Dark Magic Spells that "The G@G Elite" are capable of.

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The story of

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1.) The "Critical Thinking" Spell!

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A truly HORRIBLE spell from the G@G Elite circle. Every day, they are somehow able to think about issues in an empathetic and logical position, instead of an emotional and reactionary manner.

Almost as if they are thinking independently from other people!

In order to do this, they use this unholy and cursed object, which I had never seen before until recently....

I've managed to get a drawing of it without being discovered. It looks something like this.

The story of

I'm not sure what it's called, since they failed to reveal it to me, but I have decided to call it a "Dark Blob".

This device allows them to cast their evil spell, and is likely the result of blood sacrifices! I'm pretty sure anyway.

It's not like you can look it up to prove me wrong. Unless you were to... think critically perhaps?

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2.) The "Express Opinion" Spell.

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They're malicious and snake like, these G@G Elites. To the point were if they disagree with you, they will use this device to cast their evil spell, this device known as the "keyboard" which I have sketched below.

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This device allows them to express themselves, voice their opinions, or even worse... disagree with you!

Are you, an influencer no less, going to allow those wretched G@G Elite make you look ill informed and arrogant? No! Make sure they know their place, by hiding their opinion, and blocking their account!

And just like that, You've performed the counter spell, known as "Conjure Echo chamber." And you no longer need to be affected by the evil magic.

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3.) The "Joke" spell.

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This extremely dangerous spell can damage you're organs and cause you to throw a hissy tantrum.

This spell requires the Dark Blob and the keyboard in order to cast. And according to what I've gathered from the G@G Elite, their 3rd evil spell is only capable of hurting people if they lack the Dark Blob.

If they cast an effective joke spell, everyone in possession of the Dark Blob will laugh at (or with) the caster. If they cast the spell effectively on YOU, everyone with a Dark Blob will laugh, and anyone without it will get angry, scared, or sad.

This gives their spell a weakness, if you steal the Dark Blob device, you have a chance of surviving this wicked spell!

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4.) The "Observation" spell.

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Have you ever had a pesky user make you look bad? Ever caused by people seeing things you said, that you are 100% accountable for saying?

If they cast an observation spell on you, it allows them to magnetize other people's eyes to see what you said. Immediately making people who respect you, not respect you as much.

This spell is especially evil, not only because it makes you lose friends, but it also creates CONSEQUENCES for your OWN actions! A TRULY evil concept!

The best way to counter this spell is by using a light spell known as "Lie".

Casting this spell immediately negates any "misconceptions" a person has read about you, and it will make people your friend again.

And fortunately this spell only works on people who do not have a Dark Blob. So as long as they are not part of the G@G Elite, the spell will work on them.

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5.) The "Doing Their Job" book of spells. (Reserved for Moderators.)

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From what I have gathered, only the leaders of this Dark brotherhood can use these spells.

They are known as "Moderators", and are able use the most powerful of dark magic located in moderator archives known as "The G@G Terms Of Service."

This book full of powerful knowledge, and spells that allows them to perform terrible and malicious things. There are 3 in total.

* Mod Spell 1: The "Delete Question" spell.

Have you ever had your question taken down after writing about your incest fantasies?

Little did you know, it was one of those Malicious G@G Elite Members, preventing you from working your dick/clit to your TOTALLY acceptable sexual fantasy!

This spell allows them to get rid of your question, leaving with only 2 questions left. How are you supposed to ask your follow up question about fucking your real sibling?

It's dark magic like this that can only be repelled by using the "Play Victim" spell on a G@G Administrator.

If you're lucky, there's a chance that they may not possess a Dark Blob, so they will sympathize with you, and revive your question. This works especially well if you're an influencer or have more than 1K followers.

* Mod Spell 2: The "Delete Opinion" spell.

Are you tired of getting your opinions taken down, even if they DO have racial slurs in them?

That's all because a pesky G@G Elite moderator has used a magic spell, which removed your race bait.

The only way to counter this spell is by replying to every other opinion in the question thread, and proceed let everyone know that your opinion is gone.

Because remember! No matter how insignificant you think it is, everyone TOTALLY cares about your comment being reported. And I assure you NOBODY wants you to let it go and get on with your day.

* Mod Spell 3: The "Freeze account" spell.

Ever casually send death threats to another G@G member? Or lie to them and spread misinformation? Then all of the sudden you can't use your account anymore?

Well that was an Evil Moderator, who froze your account after another member (who you were just having a peaceful conversation with) snitched on you, calling upon the dark overlords to paralyze your account. This allows them to present your account to the Admin for Judgement. Whether your account shall be banned, or will stay.

This is their most POWERFUL Spell, as their is no REAL counter for it. All you can do is have your followers throw tantrums and threaten to leave, which won't work unless you can communicate to them using different methods, or have a lot of Xper 1 users as followers.

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Wrapping up

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As you can see we can all combat against this unstable machine! And if we all stand united, we can stand up to these Elitist G@G Members, and possibly Eliminate them from the site!

Restoring peace and prosperity to G@G once more!

Join the good fight, and have a good day!

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TL:DR...

This is satire. There's no such thing as the "G@G Elite". People who believe this are children. Grow up.


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SketchForger is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guys

  • 6d

    I hear that a mutation has occurred within the enemy ranks though. Unfortunately, a mysterious fet-mage has learned how to cast defensive camouflage on their question. It begins with an anon asking a seemingly innocuous question like "Do you have any younger siblings?" Then, lured masses gravitate towards the question, unaware of its dangers. The fet-mage then comments on the girls' opinions "would you take me to the bathroom if I was your kid?" Hark! A hidden Fetish-Fapper Spell! Counter defenses are being made as I write, but I fear it may be too late for some users who have already gotten hit by Phase 3: the "PMe" spell.
    -

    ... But for real-- the lore is deep lmao. This was great.

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  • but all of the above are surely just tools of the illuminati same as everything else lol. you have seriously overthought this and reinvented the wheel
    The story of "The G@G Elite". The Dark Overlords!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't stop laughing, lol. Thank you so much for posting this! I really hope those two idiots read this, but then again will they actually get it? I doubt it. Maybe they will get it eventually (I hope) and I know they are not going to be very pleased with this.. They will probably try to get your take deleted 😂

    Amusingly brilliant Take.

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What Girls & Guys Said

414
  • I'm definitely part of this "Dark Elite", since I'm an Ubermod.

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  • Omg. This is the best thing I've read all day. You sir, have earned yourself a respectful follower 😂

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  • ...;

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  • GAG changed big time... I remember this site was very laid back and the older was much more wiser. Everyone was open to giving advice instead of spreading negativity. I miss the good ole’ days.

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  • Cool Take. Do you prefer Horatian or Juvenalian satire?

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  • The story of "The G@G Elite". The Dark Overlords!

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  • Well done. a very entertaining and enlightening tale

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  • The world spells our Mothers Sisters Daughters as reps. to that saTan stuff is just badd religion.
    PSY DON PSY TON PSY TAN is not Satan groupies
    T. H. E. E.
    D. E. V. I. L. S. LYE thanks for
    UNDErSTANDING

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    • 7d

      I don't understand, could you explain it like I'm a child.

    • 7d

      The real Lie for Satan is Worshipers--->Religion Reps.
      Thee real Lye for Psydon Non-Religion ---->Mideval-->Mothers
      Thy real Soap from Psytan Non-Religion--->eval-->Sisters
      Ye Our self Form Psyton Non-Religion------>Mideval Daughters
      Detailed Elite Victors In Learning Souls (D. E. V. I. L. S.) LYE (Soap) for Mideval follows that's all
      I'm just looking on the computer to see who OUR are WORSHIPERS that I'm FAR not a worshiper of what I read Mr. editor.
      just wanted to clear things up on correct spelling of today's word world way's isn't Our way's
      RELIGION took the word from us MOROPHPSIS to scar religion to go to church more did I give UNDERSTOOD MR. Editor of G@G

  • I hated the notation at the end. Always leave them guessing!!! And many won't much more than the title anyway.

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    • That's sort of the point, if they're not going to read, they're not work it.

      But to be fair I'm just now getting back into satire again.

    • My critique is only from the perspective of a fan.

      :D

    • 7d

      That's good to hear, I aim to entertain. :)

  • Very true there is no such thing as the GAG ELITE... just call me the Grand Poohbah! Thank You.

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  • This made me chuckle :D

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  • Sounds like a D&D guide set in the future

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  • Good take.

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  • Very cool thanks it made my morning

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  • 7d

    LMAO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  • Amazing

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  • Great material here

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  • 7d

    Great take

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