Hello, it’s Jane – previously self-proclaimed Queen of Assholes here to talk about a subject I never thought I’d ever discuss with the internet.
That subject is why I’m not as much of an asshole online anymore.
For some backstory, I created an otherwise anonymous G@G account (with the exception of using my generic name in comments and Mytakes) to vent opinions that I couldn’t openly discuss on public platforms. Being a journalist, you have to be extremely careful with what you post online, so the site offered me the anonymity I craved so I could finally pop-off on some of my more “intense” opinions.
However, it all came to a head during a time where while I had a lot of to be grateful for, I was dealing with a lot of internalized negativity that came from years of parental abuse and personal relationships. Without fully realizing it, I was putting a lot of venom into my otherwise sound opinions.
Mind you, I am still the type to call people out, but I would find myself unnecessarily mocking people or insulting their intelligence – though, sometimes, it was warranted, i.e. paedophiles trying to justify their sexual desire for children as being their “sexuality.” Fuck off.
I was such an internet dickhead that I actually had users designate time and energy to spreading rumours about me and by trying to rile me up on my posts. Apparently, I was so interesting to them that they actually had to put that much effort into little old me, and it was and still is pretty funny.
I have had some users notice that I have calmed down quite a bit and some of my opinions have somewhat changed. I used to come across to some as very anti-feminist for example, (though, I never claimed I was) because I harshly attacked current-age feminism for being radical. While I do feel there is still a strong presence of radical feminism, I do not and never have thought that there was anything wrong with being a feminist otherwise.
I made the personal choice MANY times in my long time of being a member to take breaks from G@G. I felt the overall culture could be toxic and even felt as though I was adding to that negativity by releasing my anger out on people who I found to be “stupid” or simply annoying.
That isn’t the person I ideally want to be. While I am fine with being known as the strong-willed debating type, I don’t want to be the person who takes pride in making other people feel bad per se. Not to say I am above insulting someone or being harsh when necessary, but I would rather be more selective in that approach rather than letting my personal anger poison my opinions.
Now, I know the majority of you probably don’t give a shit – I probably wouldn’t – but after receiving enough comments about it, I figured it was a good excuse to write a Mytake and tell everyone what’s up.
That’s all. I got nothing else to say here.