Baby come back? Miss someone? Want to publicly apologize to someone who blocked you?

Okay, so here's my next idea. This song popped into my head, and I thought, 'I could make a question out of that.'

I read a very heartfelt apology by anon user, which was about a terrible crime he committed over a decade ago. It was very sad, really terrible, what he did, but he's going to make amends for it now. And it got me thinking.

Then I got a pm from a friend here who's decided to leave, which makes me sad. Another good one bites the dust. I'm not going to convince anyone to stay, it's their choice, but it is very applicable to the things I write about (disagreements, confrontation, conflict, blocking, etc.) I think this place, just like the internet, is a pretty fragile organism. It only seems like it isn't because of the constant influx of new people, but it doesn't as often take into account who's left. I'm not sure if I should go so far as to say it lives and breathes, but it may very well have a heartbeat (metaphorically, of course), and seems to me that it is the most kind, most sensitive, and the ones who care about humanity the most, that are the most likely to become disillusioned with the harsh realities. There is definitely a lack of compassion at times.

As well, I had a kind of stilted, long pm session with someone recently, and I admit I eventually reacted too abruptly, too confrontationally, to what I perceived as bluntness and impatience, etc. Anyway, long story short, we both made some mistakes, and after he blocked me, a fellow friend acted as go-between and helped to patch things up between us (I did not intend to block and wanted to continue the relationship.) This is another telling example of why I am now against blocking. It shuts down all contact, all potential communication, and can therefore never result in resolution. There are definitely many (many?) times where blocking is warranted and you know 'there ain't no blood in that stone', so to speak. It's a dead fish. (I know, it's 'dead in the water.') Move on. I'll say it again - not everyone is equal and some people are pretty awful human beings. But I'm referring to the much more grey, nuanced, complex situations, where one or more people was offensive, one or more was hurt, and they really do take a hefty amount of self-control and self-reflection to decipher why, and what, in fact, really happened. (Btw, he and I are much better now and I am genuinely happy to know him. He's a good guy. Again, we all need to cut each other some slack when we, inevitably, or intermittently falter. Me included.)

So this question (I had to make it a mytake due to character count. How can this be 3377 characters?! I do run on too much sometimes, but these words here are important)... is up for you to extend that olive branch to someone who blocked you, and you would like to apologize, or just say a few words, that they might perhaps see, and you too, can find some resolution and make amends. Conflict, conflict, conflict. We need to become better at it.

Also, if you like, you can list a user(s) who you miss, who left the site because they were one of the others I mentioned, one of the good ones, and you thought they were a great contributor to the site.

'Baby Come Back' by Player
Player is an American rock band that made their mark during the late 1970s. This is obviously a contemporary video, not related.

This is a decent cover. Not really my style either, but a bit more soulful.

Baby come back? Miss someone? Want to publicly apologize to someone who blocked you?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Dongtai
    I sometimes miss my first love but don’t try to get hack with her for the reason why I broke up with her in the first place. Sometimes I want to tell her I’m proud of her though.

    There’s a few of my exes whom I’m proud of. But I don’t know how they’d perceive me randomly telling them that. But I’m happy that they’re doing well with their lives and want them to know that they deserve pats on the back.

    Emma, you were the first to teach me what love was. You showed me how to see it. I just wanted to tell you that I’m proud to be able to say I spent some of my life with you and that I’m proud of where you are in your life. Keep doing your thing. You’re awesome.

    Kharissa you were my very first girlfriend and pretty much my first everything from the kiss to the bedroom. You was my very first positive experience with a girl. The first not to abuse my affection for you and hurt me with it. You taught me a woman’s decency. Thank you. I’m also proud to say that I shared part of my life and you’re one of my best memories. I’m proud of where you’re at in your life as well. I think you’re an excellent mother and you should feel the highest of yourself if you don’t already. Thank you for leaving a good mark on my spirit and I send blessings to yours.
    Is this still revelant?
    • That was so goooood!
      You're a good writer. 🧾

    • Dongtai

      I published two books 😜

    • Oooh. What subjects? Fiction?
      Self-published or through a publisher?

    • Show All
  • wankiam
    i was on a forum quite a while back that got around this issue quite well in my opinion... what it did was allow the blocked person to send one last ''moderated'' message to the user that blocked them... it wasn't an excuse to send insults or try to continue an argument because like i said it was moderated but it did afford the user the chance to appologise or explain they didn't mean the last comment the way it must have been taken. whether or not it would work on here, i dont know and i can't see the g@g programmer implimenting it anyway
    Is this still revelant?
    • Very interesting idea. Helpful and conciliatory. They should implement.

    • wankiam

      they should indeed but why would the programmer waste time on something useful all of a sudden... far too busy messing about on major things like the mho function #facepalm

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What Girls & Guys Said

715
  • Sensmind
    ** Disclaimer - I have been here 5 years , got close to maybe 100 + people so I probaly will miss out some, the usernames and details in most cases are memory guesses or as close as I remember.
    I am a bit of a head in the clouds person, I can only recall one time that I was blocked and it bothered me. I felt the other person misunderstood me but she was a serial blocker , block first ask question later, I even got another user to write to her on my behalf but to no avail, not out of any great desire to talk to her but because I felt I was misunderstood. I won't name her because I don't want to go down another rabbit hole.
    Now funny thing over my years I got to know contentious characters for some reason I saw beyond their bluster and saw a person worth getting to know. Even telling them that if they toned it down they might get further in their agenda, I starting defending them to others , a few of them tried to change but it was hard to lose a reputation and they got fed up fighting. A couple come to mind WoW, the Australian girl Starfish_Lover, the Lativan girl who was super active but got into fights, she tried to change maybe she burned out and there was a Chinese/Japanese guy in Seattle, there was also a guy from London that changed his accounts a lot he tried to complete change his style but his past kept catching up with him.
    Not saying everybody controversial is really a good soul underneath, there are/were bad eggs but also among them a couple of potential good eggs.
    People that everyone probably misses , one of the first people to talk to me on GaG was JackKerouac77 , he was hilarious but he said he was on GaG too much and had to leave. There was a girl from Texas , I remember her second account IEatSouls , she was just super nice. There was the mormon woman from Utah who was lovely as well.
    • What a great answer.

      Yes, I've had this situation of a third party being the go-between. It happened twice just recently. This is one of the main reasons I wrote the question - there must be others out there who are reaching out this way.

      This JackKerouac felllow sounds good. Wish I could have met him.

    • Wow blocks anyone who disagrees with her or calls her out.

  • DeeDeeDeVour
    The original is a beautiful song.
    Did you know that Player guitarist Ron Moss played the role of 'Ridge Forrester' in the CBS soap opera 'The Bold and the Beautiful' from 1987 to 2012?
    • Nope. I don't watch soaps. That's a weird career transition, eh?

  • You just moght be the internet version of mrs manners. Noone to apologize to thats around and i apologize immediate if i make a mistake... and i do. Dont agree in block. This site filled w real people... fake people... police... scammers... and frauds. I wouldn't assume anything nor trust what yoi see nor read. Some i do... some i dont!
    • Heh heh. Yes, I keep saying I'll stop on these topics. But then I go and do it again. Maybe this will be my last?

    • what a great song. you're a good hearted person.

  • lnva87
    I think blocking as rather hard solution for really bad ones.
    So only if someone keeps bugging me even if tried to make them understand i resort to blocking.
    Even if I'm mad at someone or have argued a lot. If there remains some reasoning with them i prefer there to be way to connect later.
  • You're right. But not everyone can do it. And not everyone wants to/can do it publicly.
    It takes courage, self-confidence, life experience, self-sacrifice.
    Like this.. Someone who is used to receive, always gives more difficult.
  • soleil2666
    Pfff, far too many people. But someone's got to be a good proper girl now that we are practising being equal. A good little girl never saying a word out of line.
    • Get over yourself, soleil.

    • soleil2666

      So what's that - to miss someone is not allowed/is to be socially vetted?

  • WhiteShoulder
    @Penelope_ love you girl. Someday we'll split a pizza. Corn on one half, shrimp on the other.
  • SydneySentinel
    Love the song choice!
    I do miss someone that is no longer here on gag but I wrote a mytake about him.
    ❤❤❤
  • dannyskudder
    To my ex, you destroyed me and the dream you fed me about our kids names and me proposing but I am so fucking sorry being with me made you worse by the end and even though I intentionally overdosed and told you was so cruel of me and I know you'll never know these words which is what shall break my heart forever - for baby Luna and Leo. I'm so sorry.
  • oldguyincanada
    I think there is only one person on here where we are perhaps mutually blocked. Frankly I don't even know how to recognize if someone has blocked me. I have no desire to know this person. Her opinions were completely without merit.
  • Liam_Hayden
    Apologize to a whiny snowflake loser who couldn't handle a different point of view and so blocked me? Okay. I am truly sorry that you people who have blocked me are so weak-minded that facts terrify you.

    How's that?
  • winterfox10
    I want to apologize to @shreya_shiry. I mistakenly said some inappropriate things to her, and I am sorry for hurting her feelings.
  • Jean-Marie_Céline
    On here I'd apologize to two users who I blocked and got blocked from, but they wouldn't likely accept my apologies.
  • Jjpayne
    I would like to apologize to them but something tells me they can't see my comments and they don't approve and or want to see my content
  • GoodGuyBreakingBad
    Yes i love this song Baby Come Back , i even like it by the new people singing it :)
    I don't know anyone whose blocked me and i don't block people so who knows?
  • ThatGuy133
    But if they blocked you... they can't see your apology
    • I know, it's not that likely. But:

      They may not have 'Hide activity of users I blocked' set to 'on'. They may be blocking that person from replying on their questions, but not making all of their comments hidden.
      However if both block each other, neither user will see the other’s activity.
      A mutual friend could see the comment and tell the person.
      A user could have blocked, but then unblocked at some point.

  • I would unblock my ex if she'd apologize to the GAG community for lying to them.
  • No. Fuck them. I'm not gonna waste my time on people who blocked me. I got enough friends.
  • crazybill77
    Nope, I blocked them for a reason
  • crazybecky77
    Nope, I do not
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take.
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