Being too picky with girls Part 1

apexalpha


A lot of sexually inexperienced guys pass up on good chances because of their pickiness. If directly confronted about why they don't have a girlfriend, they may use the, 'I have high standards' apology. Even in their own head, they may reject certain girls for not being up to their expectations. I definitely felt picky at times, and it probably lost me a good catch or more. Here are some reasons inexperienced guys shouldn't be too picky:


It is just an excuse - either to yourself or other people


A lot of the time your supposed pickiness is just an excuse for why you haven't done better with women. It can be an overt, calculated excuse that you use to deflect questioning from other people, or it can be something you tell yourself, and which you actually believe on some level. In this case it acts as a defence mechanism to protect your sacred ego - It's not that your personality needs work or you're too scared to get a girlfriend, it's just that no one good enough has come along.
It can be more about your own un-logical insecurities and how you measure up to others.


Being too picky with girls Part 1



The perfect woman


Some guys don't like the idea of dating a less-than-perfect woman, not because there's anything inherently wrong with it, but because they can't stand the thought of what other people would think of them. They want to be admired and seen as cool, and having an average girl on their arm doesn't accomplish that in their mind. They may also have low confidence and be uncomfortable with themselves in general, and think that if they could only be seen with really hot girls it would make them more worthy to the world somehow. “The trophy chick” “arm candy”
What you think you want is only an educated guess


When you've lack the familiarity with a woman or never had a girlfriend, you're really just making a guess at what you want. When faced with the various qualities of women first hand, you may re-evaluate your preferences. You may think you need a girl to have certain personality traits, but later you'll find they're not a hot guy as you had imagined. Or you may disdain certain traits, but eventually find you could live with that type of personality.


Maybe only your mum thinks you are handsome...


It's cool to only want the best, but if you're not so hot yourself, why would a high caliber woman want to be with you? Why do you think you're above dating an average girl if you're only average yourself? If you're honestly not all that great, then you'll do better for yourself at first if you stick to girls on your level. Later, you can try to live the dream and hook up with women who are supposedly out of your league, but that is harder, so get that ever important basic experience first.
Regular girls are probably easier to get than high quality ones


Being too picky with girls Part 1



I want a nerdy girl...


For example, you may think that you need a girl to be super sophisticated and knowledgeable. But you could find that most of your time with her isn't spent discussing deep complicated topics, and that a girl with more average book smarts is fine. Or you could discover you don't even like talking about intellectual topics as much as you thought you did, and that a girl who's good at light conversation and joking around is much more preferable. Or you may think you like girls with small perky breasts, but find you're actually into big boobs once you get to play with some.


Being too picky with girls Part 1



You are still a rockie...


Since you don't really know what you like yet, why write off scores of women before giving them a chance? Experience different kinds and see what you're drawn towards.
You don't have experience with all the dimensions in which women can be enjoyable


When you're totally inexperienced, you can really only judge women from afar. You can evaluate them on looks, or on what their personalities seem to be like when they're interacting with other people or yourself in a non-romantic capacity. So it's easy to have unrealistic physical standards, or to only like girls who seem to have a certain type of character.


Personality wise:


* What they're like when they're with guys they're interested in
* What they're like with their boyfriends
* What they're like one-on-one
* How affectionate they are
* Sides of themselves they only show to people who know them well


Physically:


* What their bodies look like when they're naked (and when your only experience is with porn, you can forget that you don't get to see real women's bodies right away)
* What their bodies physically feel like (i.e., firmness, smoothness, overall proportions)
* What specific parts of them look and feel like (e.g., breasts, legs, ass)
* How good they are in bed as a whole
* Their style in bed
* What their technique is like for certain things (e.g., kissing, , sex)


So a picky inexperienced guy could think he only wants the cute, seemingly nice, smart girl, while turning down the apparently average, sort-of-annoying girl. But if he were to actually date them he may find:


Cute, nice, smart girl:


* Is weird and kind of messed up one-on-one.
* Is way too needy and clingy in a relationship.
* Has a skinny, bony body and small floppy tits.
* Is a bad kisser.
* Is horrible in bed.


Average, sort-of-annoying girl:


* Is 'annoying' because she's uncomfortable in groups and is actually really fun and cool once you get to know her better.
* Or she could be 'annoying' in a way that's relevant to certain other people, but not an issue with you. “Hot &cold”
* Has a different (good) personality around her boyfriends, compared to her friends. “selective b*tchiness”
* Has an awesome body under her clothes. This here is a surprise bonus
* Is really supportive and affectionate.
* Has great moves in bed
* Has a style in bed that really meshes well with your own.
If you judged these two girls only on looks and their observable day-to-day personality, you'd have come to the wrong conclusion. That's not to say you should always choose a so-so girl over a seemingly better one, just that the so-so girl probably has things going for her as well.


Take home messages


1. You don't know your own value you are still ”unrated” you could be super-hot dude or just plain mehhhhhhh


2. Don't knock it until you tried it that goes for the girls you encounter


3. You don't know your true preferences

Being too picky with girls Part 1
10 Opinion