I think it's kind of stupid. Which saying is more to the truth: "absence makes the heart groq fonder" or "absence makes the heart go yonder"? I guess it depends on the case though. If the two are together and one goes on a trip, then the first. But if they are just starting and one believes going away for a bit will make the other love him/her more, it's just stupid.
In all honesty, the only reason many guys use this approach on women is because it works like a charm on 90% of women. You guys get multiple orgasms when you are being ignored and treated like shit. Maybe not you per se, and a handful of other girls, but the majority does.
In my case it all went down in a rather uncommon way. We were very close and I told her outright I liked her, she had conflicting feelings and asked for some time. We kept hanging out but got mad at each other over constant disagreements. To try and take out of my head I avoided her the next year, that time apart made her miss and she came back, now we are probably going to oficialize everything this Valentine's day (which oddly enough is a day we both kinda despise)
The world doesn't function like that. The fact that you dont like certain behaviour in a guy/girl doesn't mean that its not attractive. If done too much it can make you angry or hateful but attraction is still there. If he come to you after ignoring you and showed you love hugged you... your hate will turn into love. Its the same with being nice. The fact that you like and appriciate that someone gives you attention doesn't make you fall in love with that person.
LOL well yes you still find them attractive but the goal is to not have futile ups and downs that could have been prevented by a bit of maturity. Thats just toxic love. Stay with someone like that and tell me how it works out for you in the long term.
The harsh truth is that this tactic works very, very well on women. Most guys don't do it... it seems it's more a girl thing to do... but guys who have figured it out can be super successful with it. Not in every case, of course, but certainly in most.
It is true even playing hard to get coudl backfire on the person and that person may go away and be no interest to you anymore and this applies to male and women.
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Anonymous
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I like this take because it seems to have brought out all of the possible scenarios in relationships, and in a good way as I am reading in the comments. Thank you.
This could possibly explain what is going on with me right now. This whole time I was thinking that he lost interest (similar to some of the guys responses on here).
@dudegrt09 that would make sense. I started liking another guy when I lost interest in the first one I mentioned in my opinion. He had ample opportunities, let it drag on for 2 years and never acted on it. When he was about to. I got fed up and walked away. That ship sailed a while ago and thats the way it goes. You won't put your life on hold to wait on someone who can't be all that interested in you.
The guy I like is kind of doing the same to me, and my friends keep telling me that he wants me to pay even more attention to him (it's been almost 3 weeks since we talked for the last time); I really hadn't thought about it until now. The first week he ignored me, I was almost begging him to talk to me again, and still he wouldn't, are my friends right?
I have never ignored a love interest. I avoided women that rejected me, though and one really confused me. She rejected me, told me she didn't want to see me around, then got bothered that I completely avoided her.
there's no overly interested standard. it makes more sense to be yourself and let things play out. if your normal is too cold or too hot for the other then you're not compatible.
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Ignore me and you're demoted to being a friend.
Thank you for writing this.
I think it's kind of stupid. Which saying is more to the truth: "absence makes the heart groq fonder" or "absence makes the heart go yonder"? I guess it depends on the case though. If the two are together and one goes on a trip, then the first. But if they are just starting and one believes going away for a bit will make the other love him/her more, it's just stupid.
Wow. Thanks so much for this take. Went through the same thing recently! I'm so upset about it, hate being messed around
i just have to say, girl your makeup is on point!
Strange you'd even have to explain the reason why...
But some people will never get it - not even after it's explained.
Most guys can never really express what they feel so annoying. But some were taught like that not sure why.
You are so correct on that one somethign similar I experienced with a guy I liked but only went out on a first date and that was all.
In all honesty, the only reason many guys use this approach on women is because it works like a charm on 90% of women. You guys get multiple orgasms when you are being ignored and treated like shit. Maybe not you per se, and a handful of other girls, but the majority does.
In my case it all went down in a rather uncommon way. We were very close and I told her outright I liked her, she had conflicting feelings and asked for some time. We kept hanging out but got mad at each other over constant disagreements. To try and take out of my head I avoided her the next year, that time apart made her miss and she came back, now we are probably going to oficialize everything this Valentine's day (which oddly enough is a day we both kinda despise)
The world doesn't function like that. The fact that you dont like certain behaviour in a guy/girl doesn't mean that its not attractive. If done too much it can make you angry or hateful but attraction is still there. If he come to you after ignoring you and showed you love hugged you... your hate will turn into love. Its the same with being nice. The fact that you like and appriciate that someone gives you attention doesn't make you fall in love with that person.
LOL well yes you still find them attractive but the goal is to not have futile ups and downs that could have been prevented by a bit of maturity. Thats just toxic love. Stay with someone like that and tell me how it works out for you in the long term.
The harsh truth is that this tactic works very, very well on women. Most guys don't do it... it seems it's more a girl thing to do... but guys who have figured it out can be super successful with it. Not in every case, of course, but certainly in most.
It is true even playing hard to get coudl backfire on the person and that person may go away and be no interest to you anymore and this applies to male and women.
I like this take because it seems to have brought out all of the possible scenarios in relationships, and in a good way as I am reading in the comments.
Thank you.
oh c'mon. girls would thank god if i ignored them XD which is why i do that lol
This could possibly explain what is going on with me right now. This whole time I was thinking that he lost interest (similar to some of the guys responses on here).
How do you know it was to make you more attracted to him? Maybe he just lost interest and started liking another girl?
Legit point there, that is what I was wondering too
@dudegrt09 that would make sense. I started liking another guy when I lost interest in the first one I mentioned in my opinion. He had ample opportunities, let it drag on for 2 years and never acted on it. When he was about to. I got fed up and walked away. That ship sailed a while ago and thats the way it goes. You won't put your life on hold to wait on someone who can't be all that interested in you.
she wouldn't know either way. thats why people should be direct. saves time.
@Azara I couldn't agree more. You just feel as if you've been messed around.
The guy I like is kind of doing the same to me, and my friends keep telling me that he wants me to pay even more attention to him (it's been almost 3 weeks since we talked for the last time); I really hadn't thought about it until now. The first week he ignored me, I was almost begging him to talk to me again, and still he wouldn't, are my friends right?
Could be that hè really liked you And he wanted you yo pay more attention to him. When he ignored you maybe he was just waiting for you to initiate x
Thanks for replying
what if this what if that, ask person of interest whether interest is mutual and sleep at nights :)
nice:)
I have never ignored a love interest. I avoided women that rejected me, though and one really confused me. She rejected me, told me she didn't want to see me around, then got bothered that I completely avoided her.
Happened to me. We were all fine and everything was progressing and then BAM randomly ignored. It's frustrating. I don't get it.
Because they have other options. Especially if they're good-looking, they'll have even more options.
Omg thats so true now that i think of it
Yep. :/
It’s true but it doesn’t ensure his complete satisfaction. He is an attention whore.
Think you are just molly coddling one by your sincere affection.
Every option he has he will repeat this pattern.
Yep, there has to be a middle ground. Being overly interested (i. e. clingy) can also backfire. Tone it down, don't turn it off.
there's no overly interested standard. it makes more sense to be yourself and let things play out. if your normal is too cold or too hot for the other then you're not compatible.