Why I, As A Guy, Don't Like Having Mostly Male Co-Workers (Page 2)

[RoiseLee]

I’ve worked at job where it was mostly guys. Geez guys can be weird. Another girl and I were the only females. Guys would literally try do our job for us or “fix” something we did. God forbid I looked a little tired this one guy would not take no for a answer when I said I can handle it! They were nice to us just because we were girls. Not saying I didn’t appreciate the team work, but gosh.

[desidoll]

I agree. I mean I don't really get along with females in general, but when it comes to work, I always prefer my own gender. The reason is males are mostly bad at admin works. They can be disorganised and inefficient.

[Outofthegrey]

I have never understood caring about this. People are people, and you're just going to dislike some of them. Whether I have to hide that I enjoy going to the gun range and carry one on myself every day, or have to hide that I like the female pop singer Meg Myers, I have to hide something.

[ManOnFire]

So they should also accept that other guys who don't follow along are people too.

[Avallach]

Any thoughts on how to at least slightly improve the situation?
You said the experience you had changed you. But if you did things like your co-workers do you would definetely gain the same personality.
So is this a great insight into the situation that leads to some improvements, tips or you are just bragging about it because life made you different?

[ManOnFire]

There is nothing to brag about. This is insight into the situation, yes. Take it for just that.

[Avallach]

So you, as experienced in communicating in teams where almost everyone is a male have no ideas how to better behave in that environment? I bet you have something on you mind how to treat competitive and cocky males :)

[ManOnFire]

Yes. You teach people how to treat you by what you will allow from them. That's how I handle it. When they can see you're not a fan of something they do or say then they will not do it. That's really the biggest thing.

[oxoxo-lover]

Interesting. I think most women don't think about this because most guys are not vocal about it and also guys seem more laid back in general. Maybe just being in a room full of one gender isn't a great idea. For me it is the opposite, as everyone knows women are more aggressive towards other women. I literally depend on my male co workers who are more compassionate and caring towards me. I have noticed that guys tend to have a weak spot for the girls.

[10dsw]

I worked at a research hospital as a graduate student with 90% female nurses. You think male co-workers are bad? Try having 90% female co-workers, and especially the types who are constantly back stabbing and sabotaging each other.

And being one of the few males who ranks above them education-level wise doesn't help either... you become a target.

[NerdInDenial]

You say that until you get accused of sexual harassment. It’s interesting you criticize other men for being competitive; that’s just instinct. You just sound as if you want external validation because you put blame on these men, but hey, to each is their own. Good luck!

[ManOnFire]

It's interesting to see how guys really can't admit this stuff about themselves. For anything else they'll admit what they believe to be true about our gender - we struggle to get sex, don't have many options, etc. - but can't even fess up to our own simple-mindedness.

I couldn't care less who validates me or not, I'm just telling my story.

[WhereAmI]

If you care about that job, make the effort to get along with others and network. Learn more about current sporting events so you can talk intelligently with others. It's one of the ways I gained a few friends when younger and I didn't even care to watch sports, but I did it. Kind of a means to an end. If it's not for you it might be time to move on and be happier.

[ManOnFire]

Why is talking about sports at all intelligent?

[levantine99]

yeah my brother hates watching sports so that alienates his peers. especially in dumb environments like warehouses, were all men are football fans. non watchers are thought as weird etc.

[WhereAmI]

@levantine99 To me it's just one of the many ways to make small talk and it's pretty universal with a lot of folks you run into all the time.

[WhereAmI]

@ManOnFire It's so you can speak intelligibly with other when talking sports rather than faking it or being brief about it. Doesn't have to be sports, but that's a pretty universal topic most people talk about.

[Elise_Art]

This post did help me a bit, my school environment is really aggressive and competitive, and I’m sick and tired of it..

[BillyB4]

Yeah I agree with you. I’m a kind of a nerdy guy and I’m straight but I honestly prefer working with women because I find the whole I’m-a-macho-jock attitude really annoying when I have to work with lots of guys.

[SirBarristanSelby]

Yeah, to be honest I prefer a mixture. Too many girls and it gets bitchy. Too many guys and it gets too competitive. With roughly equal numbers these horrible gender traits tend to cancel each other out and everyone is happier.

[DamnMan]

Depends on the people.
I work well with others or by myself and am not afraid to say, "I dunno."
The most important things to me is to get it done, by any means necessary.
I like male and female co workers, but not female only bosses. They don't work for me. Male bosses get it done, while female bosses want to know the why and I like both in tandum, but not one or the other only.

[thisissweet]

In my experiance i have better communciation with males. I get straight to the point and i dont like the clickiness of females. In fact i once overheard a female talking about how she did not like the"vibe" of another female. I find this very unprofessional

[ManOnFire]

I noted that I understand how females can prefer male co-workers but that as a guy it's not always great working with other guys.

[thisissweet]

yeah I get it. But we both have to survive in the working environment. Do you want an opinion on how to tackle this?

[Piteka5]

I can relate, I ended up in a mostly female class in high school, and got used to it, I wen't to college and the great majority of students are girls, so I am better dealing with girls than guys

[Anonymous]

"like their guns and hate Putin"-i am russian and i hate Putin too... he lead russia to be a soviet union again... and he is a president already for 18 years. In russia -people forced to vote for him, thats why he still a president and i hate it so much

[ManOnFire]

I get that for you as an actual Russian citizen, but for American Republicans over here they just want to hate Putin and any other world leader who doesn't agree with us, and it's a way for them to blame other countries for our problems.

[Anonymous]

I personally need a balance.

My previous job, I was the only male, and that was NOT fun at all. Every single day, one of them would bitch about one of the others, and I copped a lot of sexism.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I enjoy just the right amount of male co-workers. Enough for each day of the week. Eye candy for each day I work.

[ManOnFire]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Why are republicans all racist thats completely untrue

[ManOnFire]

Not all, but a lot of them are either outright racist or subconsciously racist, yeah.

[aaaae2e]

Wow i want to work with males only coworkers 😍 its acutually my dream job lol

[ManOnFire]

Lol. Well, since you're a female they're gonna treat you differently and some will even try to come onto you. Hope you're ready for that lol.

[lord_chilled]

Lol, thats a lot of self egostroking for a man who is obviously not man enough to handle masculine environments 😂😂😂

[ManOnFire]

Oh I can handle masculine environments fine. I just can't tolerate all the bullshit.

[lord_chilled]

What you call "the bullshit" is just part of the environment. And you onviously can't handle it.

And the fact that you have to put down those men repeatedly saying they aren't real men just shows your insecurity.

You seem to be able to handle female environments just fine. Their bullshit is okay to you.

The problem is that you dont fit in well, with male packs.

If you dont have common interests , thats very hard to do. But once you fit into a group, you would find that its a lot cooler.

But no one can fit into ANY male group, thats just not possible. You just have to deal with it, no sense in putting them down.

[ManOnFire]

My temperance and behavior is accepted in different male circles, and this is definitely the case with Hispanics and Middle Eastern men. But get into the common American male bullshit and it's no different than the female cliques we all complain about.

I can do your job. I have your endurance. I have your strength. But your good ol' macho tough boy shit isn't needed. And I don't give 2 shits about your football teams. I can respect that's what you're into - a lot of people are, yet they can't accept the person who doesn't relate. And that's a problem.

Female environments have their problems like I also noted, but it's not to the degree of guys'. Funny to me how a bunch of dudes on this Take can whine about how emasculated or "bullied" they felt working with women but are fine taking each others shit.

"The problem is that you dont fit in well, with male packs."
- Rather they don't know how to accept others.

[lord_chilled]

I dont know how cliques work in america.

In my experience i have so far managed to make friends in most male circles, some better than others.
And i dont have to be super macho.
Sometimes i even smooth things out when two guys get too agressive between them.
Also, they take my advice and respect my opinions.

I have never felt emasculated in female circles but have felt uncomfortable.
Females are more needy of approval, but they also want you to pick their side 100% of the time.
And mediating does not work between women.
I cannot do that between two competing women, i have to pick ones side, i cannot say, "you are right here, but she also has some points there" , they are completely unreasonable and refuse to see the bigger picture in those situations.

And since i dont like drama i avoid them when there are other options to work with.

And some male groups won't let you in no matter what, thats just how it goes.

[ManOnFire]

I agree that women on the job are definitely all those things. 100%. Especially with wanting you to take their side. I've been mildly trapped in power struggles like that before.

But for me ultimately none of that has to effect me as a guy. But when you have toxic machismo in your environment, it can be difficult.