Great Take. Just to add, it would be nice if women stepped up their game too so that men didn't have to fall on a lot of these assumptions and insecurities that prevent them from finding happiness with someone.
Ditching the princess complex, the overrated opinion of [herself] and coming to realize that we all have faults and flaws so to stop expecting perfecting is a good start. This "I deserve the best" mentality I think was brought on from parents spoiling their daughters making them believe "nothing is too good for my princess" sort of started this mess, and it hasn't stopped.
Respect from both men and women are crucial for them to get anywhere. It can't just all start from the woman or the man. Both have to go into it, leaving their unrealistic expectations aside and just show some decency toward each other.
Reasons Guys Do Not Date Today? They have done a risk - benefit analysis and decided that there's nothing there worth going for, they get denigrated at every turn, they do not know how to approach women any more for fear of being called a misogynist or worse.
Its time for you women to step up and make the approaches you keep saying you want the control well here you go get on with it, but if you do be serious about it because you'll only get one chance, try to make a fool of a guy for the fun of it and I'll guarantee you will find it even harder to find a date as your name will go onto a list that you’ll never get off.
I'm at an age where dating means not what it did in the past I'm glad I'm out of it.
Well from my experience, lots of women I've met in the past/most recently are degenerates, or live a degenerate lifestyle, they have an onlyfans, they have kids out of wedlock, they had sex before marriage, have a high body count with the opposite sex/promiscuity going high or they flat out dont want a serious relationship. Now thats not to say all women are like this but it says something about how the society among women is being degraded. Growing up i always thought men were only like this, but unfortunately it seems its growing more prominent in women as well. So I pray that society goes back to being traditional, family and God oriented
But let these women tell it there's no such thing as shame and men just need to stop holding them accountable for anything. Only men can be held accountable! ha.
I don't date simply because I don't need to. Like a lot of men I got the idea that I have to date and was nothing without a woman at my side. A few years ago I switched to focusing on myself. Through doing so I cleared rather long to do list and accomplished things I though I would never do for a long time. Also I fully embraced the many challenges that come with life and very much crave the next one. I am very much content with my life and have found a level of inner peace that I'm not willing to give up. If my path in life intersects with a woman's path at some point, I'll consider dating again. At this point I'm not going to leave the path I'm walking to date.
The op here seems a little angry. Goes on to make a generalization then proceeds to lump men into one of several categories.
What I have learned in life, is that when people are acting emotional, it is usually about something in their own life. I would suggest maybe looking in the mirror and improving yourself. Learn to treat others with respect or even developing a code to live your life by.
Learn and use body language to train others on how to treat you with respect. 90% of communication is non-verbal.
In short you have to love yourself before others will love you and want to be part of your life. Be exciting have a vision of your future that others want to be apart of.
So I am guessing here, but maybe you liked a guy who never asked you out?
To anyone who is reading this pos. The part where she says "He waited too long" there is no such thing! That is you can take too long manning up and asking her out and she can be dating some other guy by then. But any women that claims she turned a guy down because he took too long is not worth dating. Trust me on this. If this happens she did you a favor by rejecting you. It wasn't going to get any better with her.
expecting to split the bill is not a reason not to date xD i do that and i date girls. cause you know i'm not looking for a kitchen appliance or a pet that i need to feed. i'm looking for an equally strong partner. my time is worth the same as her time, so why am i supposed to pay? i don't get it. i'm not cheap but i expect my partner to carry their own weight.
i think there's a very simle reason that you missed: it may not be a good time in a guys life to date. just himself not being in the place he wants to be... nothing about hating women speaking of that: why is it that most of these bullit points are so overly negative and spiteful towards men?
she is spiteful and negative to men because she is upset the men she wants do not want to date her. IT goes back to this entitlement princess attitude that most American women have.
@dmgstarfleet well it sounds like you're complaining about women in america while you at the same time complain that women complain about men xD so to me it looks like you're a part of that same issue.
Ironically for women the more money a man makes and the more wealth he obtains the less he dates-much more to lose. Its ironic because due to the hypergamous nature of women they are attracted to "providers" (wealth in our society) so the more wealth he has the more she wants him and the less he is willing to risk his hard earned money by dating her
Date American women and you'll soon change your tune. American women act differently when abroad and slut it up because no one will know back home and their reputations stay intact. But in the states they become sexual camels
@dmgstarfleet what exactly does "hypergamy" have to do with "looking for providers"? nothing keeps you from staying a sexual camel till you find a partner you like. it's difficult and the majority of women won't fit your needs but that doesn't mean all womena re shitty dude xD you're litterally doing the same thing you're accusing the asker of.
Hypergamy is the tendency of females to gravitate to males of greater status, which in todays world and especially in the US is defined as money. That's what it has to do with women seeking providers. And the irony is that as a man gets more and more wealth women's attraction grows with his wealth. He, however, has now a lot to lose-modern divorce, custody and support laws and an institutional bias in the courts towards women can impoverish a man. Thus, he is very careful. With sex readily available there is no need to get into a relationship and risk everything he built. And my comment was that when women get into relationships with men the sex quickly becomes transactional and used to manipulate and control. You are young my friend, life is going to teach you some lessons, especially about female nature
Lol your whole list is a bunch a bullshit doing nothing but bashing men. You know why dudes aren't dating? Because you bring nothing to the table other than baggage and bad attitude. Men would rather pump and dump than be in a long term relationship with a bitch and there's far too many of them contaminating the dating pool.
Actually, an overlooked reason is the fact that once upon a time you either date a girl or you're missing out on a lot ( sex, romance, ...) Now it's the opposite: These things are so abundant that if you play the number's game you will always find someone to keep you company at night ( or during the day for that matter) means that if you date you're missing out on a lot as you wait for that one person to get comfortable with you. Not saying its right or wrong simply explaining a social reality
The reasons you mention are all valid, I would add in social media and cell phone addiction to both genders as a major contributing factor. I would also add that post #metoo the dating scene is a minefield that most men don't want to participate in. Also the absence of quality women is there as well. Present company excluded of course.
And how do i define quality women... Non feminist, conservative, who can take care of her self, who does not necessarily need a man, but wants one.. Someone who can be loyal and honest.. (Traits missing in both genders it seems now.)
The mine field has always existed with women. It has only gotten a bit worse. not to mention the impossible wall of first impression expectations you have to climb and surpass. Gues this also goes both ways but then again i've been pretty much invisible my whole life so wouldn't know for sure.
Spot on with the description of a quality woman! I am lucky to have found me such a woman. A diamond among a sea of rocks. Not many are out there unfortunately
You've missed the main point that the digital revolution and social media has largely turned the dating game in the favor of women. Before the proliferation of social media, a woman might have suitors in a 5km radii from her home, college, place of employment, however now that has expanded to encompass potentially the entire world. This means that it's going to be a very small pool of guys who are genetically, financially, or psycologically gifted to go on multiple dates while the majority of men are left single. So many men are thinking why even play such a game where the rules are rigged so much against them. I mean there was a recent study which reported that a third of heterosexual women have used men on dates only for food. So if most men are only disposable wallets, then why even play such a game.
Never read any of those articles but damn. also it doesn't help when you feel invisible on dating apps. So in the end i gave up and now i just don't care, even though i don't like it.
Well, there are multiple things going on here. First of all, if one doesn’t mind promiscuity and one doesn’t expect much from her looks, casual sex is Often available, so it’s not absolutely necessary to be in a relationship, although of course that’s much better if you have one. Other factors are the relatively income and career instability many people have and the proliferation of single parent households (which are not attractive to most people looking for relationship). it’s only if you get past that that you get to the mechanics of dating.
Pretty good myTake. I would say that each reason is true depending on the individual guy. There are probably more reason than this as well. For me personally I have 3 reasons I do not date. First, I've been in 2 serious relationships and hurt badly by both. This makes me a lot more cautious and selective because, if I attempt another relationship, it will be my last one. 2nd, I work in law enforcement and do not want to have a family only to put them in danger. That means I need a woman who can defend herself when needed. Finally, I have fairly high standards I expect both the woman and myself to meet. I'm working on the 3rd one.
First of all... If a guy has a small penis that shouldn't be a standard. Many guys have small dicks but have great personality and make the women next to them feel safe and sound. Second. Anxiety is not cause by themselves, but "with help". A shy guy usually will shut up and speak rarely in a meeting. Third. Alpha male is just a myth. There is no alpha, beta, omega. There are guys that are more assertive, guys that are less assertive, but don't want to be f***Ed around with and guys that ignore what's going on because they know how and that they will accomplish what they want. And many, many women just want likes, compliments, or just to get some di**. Ghat doesn't exclude the fact that there are woman that want a strong healthy relationship.
I don't think the proportion of men who are not dating is higher than any previous era of human history. Some men have better things to do, while others find it difficult to find suitable partners. Yet others are simply too unattractive. The same things may be said about women.
You should try european guys they aren't afraid and they take what they want. Though, men in Europe are above women and are number one so there is one downside. You can't have a feministic mentality with a european guy. Its like trying to change a mentality thats been there for a very very long time. You'll take up female gender roles, it would be expected to cook and clean for him and take care of the children. I dont think any guy would settle for less. In America, men have been stripped of their masculinity and are scrutinized at every turn. Women want a masculine guy but they also want feminism which doesn't really go hand in hand. Well if you want a masculine guy then he'll want a feminine woman and i feel most women aren't down for that. Good post I see what you are trying to say but its good to keep an open mind on things and not take them too seriously.
women want mind readers. They want you to just "know" how they think and feel and when they want you to be aggressively sexual and when not-and yet never send anything but ambiguous signals. I think its because they watch too many RomComs and think that is how real life works
@TessCasie I am American but I was raised in a European houshold. Both my parents are from Europe and they raised me exactly with those mentalities. Also, I did live in Europe for a few years. Are you European?
The reasons are FAR more nuanced than what you've given. Even though I myself have not given up on dating (and currently am in a relationship), I definitely understand why men choose to step away from dating or women in general. And not for the reasons you've given.
I would say the reason I don't want to date is because I can't. I have trust issues, emotional intimacy issues, I can't be vulnerable around women at all. I've been on a lot of dates, but never a relationship. It always ends with ghosting or getting back with an ex or something. I'm just never a priority to anyone.
At first I was just breaking things off with I was seeing girls once I got a few mixed signals. Now I just shut it down from the beginning, because I feel that that is kinder for both of us. Minimized bruised ego for her, and I'm not going through that shit again. I would rather just think of myself as not good enough than wait for years and years for the judgment of some woman who barely gives a fuck about me. Fuck that shit dude.
Most of those seem like pretty solid reasons. Dating is dangerous for guys these days. MGTOW is a very valid reaction to the dating environment. Trust matters a lot, and it should, but it matters now more than ever before. It's not that all women will destroy you, it's that any of them can, if she decides to.
So a lot of guys who are aware of this decide to let women pursue them, or not even that. Men want to protect themselves so they let women do the chasing.
Of course, that's easy for me to say, I'm happily married. And that's how I got there.
A lot of women today are very very egoistic, having a lot of feelings against men and having nothing to offer to a man, but just to take. Most of them are not even capable of doing good sex with a man, not telling be helpful with anything for a man or be a responsible wife with children. There is a lot of very stupid feminist anti men propaganda in all the media, and in a lot of women heads men are divided in 3 big groups: the pedophiles, the rapists and the drunks beating their women until death. Still a relation need to be based on love, respect and taking responsibilities on your shoulders. You'll hardly see any of these in today's women. Look on this site, no matter what question you'll put they are not even able to participate and provide an answer. 95% of the responses are men. They simply don't want to do anything, but want to receive all.
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Great Take. Just to add, it would be nice if women stepped up their game too so that men didn't have to fall on a lot of these assumptions and insecurities that prevent them from finding happiness with someone.
Ditching the princess complex, the overrated opinion of [herself] and coming to realize that we all have faults and flaws so to stop expecting perfecting is a good start. This "I deserve the best" mentality I think was brought on from parents spoiling their daughters making them believe "nothing is too good for my princess" sort of started this mess, and it hasn't stopped.
Respect from both men and women are crucial for them to get anywhere. It can't just all start from the woman or the man. Both have to go into it, leaving their unrealistic expectations aside and just show some decency toward each other.
Reasons Guys Do Not Date Today? They have done a risk - benefit analysis and decided that there's nothing there worth going for, they get denigrated at every turn, they do not know how to approach women any more for fear of being called a misogynist or worse.
Its time for you women to step up and make the approaches you keep saying you want the control well here you go get on with it, but if you do be serious about it because you'll only get one chance, try to make a fool of a guy for the fun of it and I'll guarantee you will find it even harder to find a date as your name will go onto a list that you’ll never get off.
I'm at an age where dating means not what it did in the past I'm glad I'm out of it.
Well from my experience, lots of women I've met in the past/most recently are degenerates, or live a degenerate lifestyle, they have an onlyfans, they have kids out of wedlock, they had sex before marriage, have a high body count with the opposite sex/promiscuity going high or they flat out dont want a serious relationship. Now thats not to say all women are like this but it says something about how the society among women is being degraded. Growing up i always thought men were only like this, but unfortunately it seems its growing more prominent in women as well. So I pray that society goes back to being traditional, family and God oriented
But let these women tell it there's no such thing as shame and men just need to stop holding them accountable for anything. Only men can be held accountable! ha.
I don't date simply because I don't need to. Like a lot of men I got the idea that I have to date and was nothing without a woman at my side. A few years ago I switched to focusing on myself. Through doing so I cleared rather long to do list and accomplished things I though I would never do for a long time. Also I fully embraced the many challenges that come with life and very much crave the next one. I am very much content with my life and have found a level of inner peace that I'm not willing to give up. If my path in life intersects with a woman's path at some point, I'll consider dating again. At this point I'm not going to leave the path I'm walking to date.
The op here seems a little angry. Goes on to make a generalization then proceeds to lump men into one of several categories.
What I have learned in life, is that when people are acting emotional, it is usually about something in their own life. I would suggest maybe looking in the mirror and improving yourself. Learn to treat others with respect or even developing a code to live your life by.
Learn and use body language to train others on how to treat you with respect. 90% of communication is non-verbal.
In short you have to love yourself before others will love you and want to be part of your life. Be exciting have a vision of your future that others want to be apart of.
So I am guessing here, but maybe you liked a guy who never asked you out?
I think you hit the nail right on the head with your last sentence. You've guessed it.
To anyone who is reading this pos. The part where she says "He waited too long" there is no such thing! That is you can take too long manning up and asking her out and she can be dating some other guy by then. But any women that claims she turned a guy down because he took too long is not worth dating. Trust me on this. If this happens she did you a favor by rejecting you. It wasn't going to get any better with her.
expecting to split the bill is not a reason not to date xD i do that and i date girls. cause you know i'm not looking for a kitchen appliance or a pet that i need to feed. i'm looking for an equally strong partner. my time is worth the same as her time, so why am i supposed to pay? i don't get it. i'm not cheap but i expect my partner to carry their own weight.
i think there's a very simle reason that you missed: it may not be a good time in a guys life to date. just himself not being in the place he wants to be... nothing about hating women speaking of that: why is it that most of these bullit points are so overly negative and spiteful towards men?
she is spiteful and negative to men because she is upset the men she wants do not want to date her. IT goes back to this entitlement princess attitude that most American women have.
@dmgstarfleet well it sounds like you're complaining about women in america while you at the same time complain that women complain about men xD so to me it looks like you're a part of that same issue.
Ironically for women the more money a man makes and the more wealth he obtains the less he dates-much more to lose. Its ironic because due to the hypergamous nature of women they are attracted to "providers" (wealth in our society) so the more wealth he has the more she wants him and the less he is willing to risk his hard earned money by dating her
Date American women and you'll soon change your tune. American women act differently when abroad and slut it up because no one will know back home and their reputations stay intact. But in the states they become sexual camels
@dmgstarfleet what exactly does "hypergamy" have to do with "looking for providers"? nothing keeps you from staying a sexual camel till you find a partner you like. it's difficult and the majority of women won't fit your needs but that doesn't mean all womena re shitty dude xD you're litterally doing the same thing you're accusing the asker of.
Hypergamy is the tendency of females to gravitate to males of greater status, which in todays world and especially in the US is defined as money. That's what it has to do with women seeking providers. And the irony is that as a man gets more and more wealth women's attraction grows with his wealth. He, however, has now a lot to lose-modern divorce, custody and support laws and an institutional bias in the courts towards women can impoverish a man. Thus, he is very careful. With sex readily available there is no need to get into a relationship and risk everything he built. And my comment was that when women get into relationships with men the sex quickly becomes transactional and used to manipulate and control. You are young my friend, life is going to teach you some lessons, especially about female nature
Lol your whole list is a bunch a bullshit doing nothing but bashing men. You know why dudes aren't dating? Because you bring nothing to the table other than baggage and bad attitude. Men would rather pump and dump than be in a long term relationship with a bitch and there's far too many of them contaminating the dating pool.
@CatalinaCahee are you kidding me? Begone thot I'm already married.
Hahaha
Actually, an overlooked reason is the fact that once upon a time you either date a girl or you're missing out on a lot ( sex, romance, ...) Now it's the opposite: These things are so abundant that if you play the number's game you will always find someone to keep you company at night ( or during the day for that matter) means that if you date you're missing out on a lot as you wait for that one person to get comfortable with you.
Not saying its right or wrong simply explaining a social reality
The reasons you mention are all valid, I would add in social media and cell phone addiction to both genders as a major contributing factor. I would also add that post #metoo the dating scene is a minefield that most men don't want to participate in. Also the absence of quality women is there as well. Present company excluded of course.
And how do i define quality women... Non feminist, conservative, who can take care of her self, who does not necessarily need a man, but wants one.. Someone who can be loyal and honest.. (Traits missing in both genders it seems now.)
I like your definition maybe if I explain it that way women wouldn’t call me a misogynistic asshole... oh well
The mine field has always existed with women. It has only gotten a bit worse. not to mention the impossible wall of first impression expectations you have to climb and surpass. Gues this also goes both ways but then again i've been pretty much invisible my whole life so wouldn't know for sure.
@worldscolide Good reasoning though.
Spot on with the description of a quality woman! I am lucky to have found me such a woman. A diamond among a sea of rocks. Not many are out there unfortunately
Agreed
You've missed the main point that the digital revolution and social media has largely turned the dating game in the favor of women. Before the proliferation of social media, a woman might have suitors in a 5km radii from her home, college, place of employment, however now that has expanded to encompass potentially the entire world. This means that it's going to be a very small pool of guys who are genetically, financially, or psycologically gifted to go on multiple dates while the majority of men are left single.
So many men are thinking why even play such a game where the rules are rigged so much against them. I mean there was a recent study which reported that a third of heterosexual women have used men on dates only for food. So if most men are only disposable wallets, then why even play such a game.
Never read any of those articles but damn. also it doesn't help when you feel invisible on dating apps. So in the end i gave up and now i just don't care, even though i don't like it.
Well, there are multiple things going on here. First of all, if one doesn’t mind promiscuity and one doesn’t expect much from her looks, casual sex is Often available, so it’s not absolutely necessary to be in a relationship, although of course that’s much better if you have one.
Other factors are the relatively income and career instability many people have and the proliferation of single parent households (which are not attractive to most people looking for relationship).
it’s only if you get past that that you get to the mechanics of dating.
Pretty good myTake. I would say that each reason is true depending on the individual guy. There are probably more reason than this as well. For me personally I have 3 reasons I do not date. First, I've been in 2 serious relationships and hurt badly by both. This makes me a lot more cautious and selective because, if I attempt another relationship, it will be my last one. 2nd, I work in law enforcement and do not want to have a family only to put them in danger. That means I need a woman who can defend herself when needed. Finally, I have fairly high standards I expect both the woman and myself to meet. I'm working on the 3rd one.
First of all... If a guy has a small penis that shouldn't be a standard. Many guys have small dicks but have great personality and make the women next to them feel safe and sound.
Second. Anxiety is not cause by themselves, but "with help". A shy guy usually will shut up and speak rarely in a meeting.
Third. Alpha male is just a myth. There is no alpha, beta, omega. There are guys that are more assertive, guys that are less assertive, but don't want to be f***Ed around with and guys that ignore what's going on because they know how and that they will accomplish what they want.
And many, many women just want likes, compliments, or just to get some di**. Ghat doesn't exclude the fact that there are woman that want a strong healthy relationship.
This guy gets it
I don't think the proportion of men who are not dating is higher than any previous era of human history. Some men have better things to do, while others find it difficult to find suitable partners. Yet others are simply too unattractive. The same things may be said about women.
No there’s def a large portion of men not dating. Mgtows only been around for about 10-20 years and got really big recently. Also #metoo is a thing.
The number of people living alone is highest ever.
Number of men who haven't had sex in a 12 month period is creeping upwards.
"Dating" is ambiguously tracked.
However among young people, relationships are less common then they were a decade or more ago.
You should try european guys they aren't afraid and they take what they want. Though, men in Europe are above women and are number one so there is one downside. You can't have a feministic mentality with a european guy. Its like trying to change a mentality thats been there for a very very long time. You'll take up female gender roles, it would be expected to cook and clean for him and take care of the children. I dont think any guy would settle for less. In America, men have been stripped of their masculinity and are scrutinized at every turn. Women want a masculine guy but they also want feminism which doesn't really go hand in hand. Well if you want a masculine guy then he'll want a feminine woman and i feel most women aren't down for that. Good post I see what you are trying to say but its good to keep an open mind on things and not take them too seriously.
women want mind readers. They want you to just "know" how they think and feel and when they want you to be aggressively sexual and when not-and yet never send anything but ambiguous signals. I think its because they watch too many RomComs and think that is how real life works
@dmgstarfleet Those type of women will end up alone. What they want is impossible.
are you European?
That's why (American) women who think like that (and its a hellsa lot of them) are described as searching for a unicorn.
@TessCasie I am American but I was raised in a European houshold. Both my parents are from Europe and they raised me exactly with those mentalities. Also, I did live in Europe for a few years. Are you European?
I don't know if you meant me or TessCasie but I spend a few months a year in France or Germany usually but live in the States.
@leoelias nope. I was just curious. 😊
@dmgstarfleet oh sorry for the confusion. 😊
The reasons are FAR more nuanced than what you've given. Even though I myself have not given up on dating (and currently am in a relationship), I definitely understand why men choose to step away from dating or women in general. And not for the reasons you've given.
I would say the reason I don't want to date is because I can't. I have trust issues, emotional intimacy issues, I can't be vulnerable around women at all. I've been on a lot of dates, but never a relationship. It always ends with ghosting or getting back with an ex or something. I'm just never a priority to anyone.
At first I was just breaking things off with I was seeing girls once I got a few mixed signals. Now I just shut it down from the beginning, because I feel that that is kinder for both of us. Minimized bruised ego for her, and I'm not going through that shit again. I would rather just think of myself as not good enough than wait for years and years for the judgment of some woman who barely gives a fuck about me. Fuck that shit dude.
Most of those seem like pretty solid reasons. Dating is dangerous for guys these days. MGTOW is a very valid reaction to the dating environment. Trust matters a lot, and it should, but it matters now more than ever before. It's not that all women will destroy you, it's that any of them can, if she decides to.
So a lot of guys who are aware of this decide to let women pursue them, or not even that. Men want to protect themselves so they let women do the chasing.
Of course, that's easy for me to say, I'm happily married. And that's how I got there.
A lot of women today are very very egoistic, having a lot of feelings against men and having nothing to offer to a man, but just to take. Most of them are not even capable of doing good sex with a man, not telling be helpful with anything for a man or be a responsible wife with children. There is a lot of very stupid feminist anti men propaganda in all the media, and in a lot of women heads men are divided in 3 big groups: the pedophiles, the rapists and the drunks beating their women until death. Still a relation need to be based on love, respect and taking responsibilities on your shoulders. You'll hardly see any of these in today's women. Look on this site, no matter what question you'll put they are not even able to participate and provide an answer. 95% of the responses are men. They simply don't want to do anything, but want to receive all.