This Mytake is just a response to this Mytake: Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends” because I just got blocked as soon as I just gave an argument.
I'm talking about true friendship not the kind of "friendship" like "waiting for her to agree to date him". But really those guys are just assumed to be gays so that no true Scotsman fallacy just gives it that illusion that makes it look like straight men can't be just friends with women. Even tho there had be lots of men claiming it's true that they truly are friends, they just get doubted and just assumed most of the time even without any real proof. If men have to prove they're just friends, they can always use absence as an evidence. Something you can't see.
I know there are researches about it so people can easily say it's true because "science said so" But I did read those researches. But so far, they're based on interviews so how are we supposed to know if those interviews were real? Chances are they may be talking about the kind of girl they can't be friends with. But they may also have other girls they don't really desire but just really fun to talk to. I'll also admit there are girls I crush on and hurts to be just friends with her but other girls I don't get the same feeling but they are just nice to hang out with. So that doesn't make them any less heterosexual/asexual because they don't desire on men and do have sexual urges. So if you wanna say "guys can't be friends with women" You're assuming that guys find every women they meet sexually attractive even tho there are many girls guys also don't find sexually attractive. There are also a lot of cases where a guy rejects someone who crushes on him but lots of times, just stays friends with her. So yeah if you wanna base things on your experience then that's just your experience. Here's a fact. You've never met most guys in the world and you can't read their minds so there's no way the researchers have been able to gather them all.
The whole notion is basically like "My sister is a girl so we can't be siblings anymore because I might get turned on or something" But of course you're just gonna say "It's rare to feel sexually attracted to your sister" then guess what other men feel about their female friends? It's just like that.
But even if you talk about most guys having that 1 specific female friend he can't be friends with, it doesn't mean it's the same feelings for the rest of his female friends where there are more than 1 of them so those female friends they don't have feelings on outweighs the female friend they can't be friends with so it turns out it's not so common as you think. So if they're talking about that kind of girl, that may also be not the same for other girls. So in an interview, they may just be talking about one girl as a example, people can easily generalize that all of his friends are like that as it gives it that illusion.
And one more thing. All heterosexual women have at least 1 or more crushes on a male friend as well but it doesn't mean it's the same for the rest. So that's not only a man thing. It's a human thing.
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I agree, it is very easy. In fact, I have best friends right now that we dated, decided to just be friends and attended each others weddings back in the day.
I had friends who we were so close, you would of thought it could of become sexual but never did... one friend had no problem changing and letting me see her in the nude but she had a boyfriend and I supported that and would never had made a move. She would not have accepted either, she was just very 'free and open' and didn't mind showing her stuff off to anyone. She also trusted me not to make a move or hurt her.
She ended up marrying her boyfriend.
It is BS that they can't be friends, I have had female friends come back later though and say, they choose wrong. Divorced or getting divorced and they should of tried for me instead. Hind sight is 20/20 though and its too late now.
Often friendships can change to romance or romance to just friends and it isn't an issue. At work some of my friends are also friends outside of work.
Just once you get married, you tend to do couple stuff instead of one on one single stuff.
That would be a cool friendship
@alleon I was, she has since moved away though so not really in contact too much anymore... but still sometimes if we happen to be going that way.
So like started you became friends with a women you "dated" first and became friends later... changed naked infront of you, but she had a boyfriend.
So let me ask, if had the chance and one of these female friends wanted to have sex with you and you were available, and totally unattached... would you do it?
While that girl was changing in front of you did get a bone? If she turned to answer said I want sex from you right not, would you not of done it?
@DaveJord We went on one date, then became friends... she did have a boyfriend but she would change at her parents house in her room, she'd tell me to come in so we could talk while she was getting ready.
We did go skinny dipping once that summer and she did make fun of me for getting hard, but no we never did it... we were just friends and that would of been weird. Plus I really did not want to ruin the friendship or cause issues. Looking back she probably wanted me to make a move, but I'll never know as I would not have wanted to lose her as a friend at the time.