Little Girls, Grown Women and their Daddies

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess things like this have been studied for some time now. But how true are the theories? My aunt says that the first man a girl falls in love with is her daddy. . .Well she did.

When I was a little girl I adored my dad. He was everything in the world to me. But as I was growing I realized we were drifting, partly because he got married, migrated and started another family.

As a teenager, I began to resent him. Hated talking with him etc. I denied for many years that I wasn't one of those girls with 'Daddy Issues'. I didn't want to believe that. . . I wanted to be tough, hardcore and a true badass all on my own. I wanted to toast to him in the future and let him know I turned out fine without him. (Unfortunately it is now as an adult, that I realize that I need my daddy. I won't tell him though.)

As a grown up, (did I say I've never had a boyfriend) I've been loving this man for 7 years and for the life of me he won't commit. For all manner for reasons, including his ex though he doesn't admit it. Needless to say I don't think I'm respected by him.

They say that women tend to choose men who are somewhat like their fathers; or exhibit similar traits/characteristic.

Well, the purpose for this is that (apart from the above)I think that unconsciously men tend to treat us how our fathers did or in a way that they know that no matter what, there won't be a threat from 'Daddy'. I guess this is because they know that daddy isn't around, or won't be around etc.

So that 'don't care' attitude, that 'whatever' kind of mentality they display is somewhat because they won't be pressured by our dads, or demanded by papa to take care of his little girl; our promised a 'throwdown' is they don't.

Maybe if daddy was around he'd fix up his crap and get on with it. Or be real with you and say what's truly holding him back. Because he'd realize that this woman he's got tied up on a string is loved, adored, cherished and worshipped by the man she calls her 'Daddy'/'Papa'/'Da'/'Padre' etc.

What do you think?

Photo taken from: https://alwaysdad.wordpress.com/

[Anonymous]

Well too the first point and that it maybe true for some that the first man you love and who's supposed too love you and show how a man should treat a woman is your farther, however I never had that from my farther, I never once felt love from him or any of the things I've just mentioned as was emotionally and odd times physically abusive.

As for the part where you mention, women going for men like there farther, I really hope that isn't true as if it is then I've got no chance of ever finding a decent man, although I do have too say that for all the relationships I've been in they've all been bad and I've not been treated well, so maybe it is.

I agree that from experience that men think they can treat women how they want and that they'll always be there for that man when he wants her, especially if there's no farther around or said farther doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Ok it is true. but I really would not like to marry a man like my father. I want to marry someone who is not lazy. who knows responsibility and commits to it. I know its a lot to ask for but still. My mom left my dad because he was irresponsible and lazy. I don't want to have to get a divorce. I want to have a relationship like my grandma and grandpa

[KBob93]

That makes total sense. There's a saying that every girl grows up to marry her father. Looking at my boyfriend, that's definitely true.

[teeyabeeya]

Very interesting point. I enjoyed reading this. Perhaps this is indeed true. What about the woman that never had a father, but a mother that was both parents?

[myTake Owner]

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. For women who never had a father I guess tend to formulate images and characteristics they want to have in a man/husband/boyfriend. And I guess these are based on the male figures in there lives or based on relationships they see and admire around them.

[queenofsass]

I don't want to marry someone like my dad. He is a abusive and unlovable.

[myTake Owner]

Sorry your dad was abusive toward you. I hope you'll heal and can have a healthy, functional relationship