What do you think - personality vs. look debate?

[trickstir85]

That age old debate of looks and personality!

60% physical attractiveness, 40% personality

40% personality, 60% physical attractiveness

70% physical attractiveness, 30% personality

Hey were is the 50/50 option! Really, it's never an event split!

[WindChaser]

It's not exactly my theory but more of a phenomena that is generally true with men. From what I have learned in psychology, men's desire for women's physical attractiveness has a negative correlation with their age. In other words, as men age increases, their demand on looks decreases. As we men age, we become wiser and put more emphasis on personality.

Good looks are what captures men attention at first. But it is personality that keeps us in the relationship and committed. So why are there so many men who seem to put looks over personality you may ask? The answer is because there are generally two different mating strategies that men use, or I should say born with. I will explain further if you like. Maybe Ill write an article on it later =)

As for me, I did have high demands on good looks when I was younger. But over time, my preference changes as many men do. Anyhow, my reason for placing higher emphasis on personality than looks is quite simple. I just want a life long companion who deserves my time, energy, and love. I want to devote all of that into a person who can touch my heart and I can trust. Good looks doesn't guarantee trustworthiness. In fact, when I know a woman is focusing too much on looks and not enough on personality, I can safely conclude that she is living life on a superficial level. If she lives life on a superficial level, then shell be loving people at that same level. Its just not deep nor meaningful enough for me.

However, when a woman has good personality, it implies that she is a person of character, dignity, and trust. I will feel safe to share my life savings and intimate secrets with her without worrying about her leaving me for some superficial reasons.

So the bottom line is, as men and women age, they get wiser(I hope). And they tend to place higher value on good companionship than good looks, wealthy, power, or anything else. Having a good personality means having a good potential to be a treasured companion a long term relationship type of thing.

[trickstir85]

Agreed, in the longterm a mate with a compatible personality is more than important. As they say, looks fade with time, but personality more or less remains steady. You say that as men age, they concentrate less on looks, but more on personality. I am sorry, I would have to disagree with you there. Older men who have affairs if not always go for some younger than their wife. As for women, they place a lot of emphasis on the wealth (generally they go for older men because they are usually wealthier

[WindChaser]

The key word you used here is *affair*. Generally when we seek affair, it's only for a short term relationship. Why would personality factor in when you're sleeping with someone for a night or two? The main idea is that both men and women will be more actively seeking what is biologically imprinted in them, that is looks for me and resources for women. But over time, both sexes sort of converge into a need of companionship or good personality.

[xxsensuixx]

I agree with star drifter. Looks is what makes you interested in a person and personality is what makes people get a long with their chosen partner but there is still the intelligence of a person to know how to act properly and know what to do in situations. Those three things are the major characteristics that a girl should have. Well that's in my opinion. Knowledge is also very important not just in studies but on what's going on around people

[ch3rrypi3-08]

The first thing will always be looks, as much as people want to make others feel good about themselves and say oh personality matters the most. B. S! What makes us like someone at first glance? Their looks. First thing we think is "He's f***ing hot! Or. He's adorable/cute. Look at that butt, his eyes are amazing, whoa those abs" Whatever it is that physically calls our attention is what we'll focus on and it's what makes us want to meet that person. After all this comes personality. A guy can be gorgeous, perfect looking but if he's a tool, doesn't have much to say, has the IQ of a donkey, can't hold a conversation you can sure that will be the turn off. If the guy is a fat, butt ugly turd you can be sure he'll find it hard to get someone to notice him even if he's smart, funny, nice, loyal whatever. Nobody wants to be with an ugly person, we want someone who makes us look good and by how he looks physically we can see how secure he is with himself. An attractive, clean guy means he's someone who respects himself and cares about himself enough to make himself look good.

Generally we want to be with someone who looks good and who we connect with on a deeper level than just physical attraction so I'd say both are important and need to compliment each other hand in hand.

[katiekewl]

There has to be that initial attraction! After that, personality is what counts. I'd lie if I said you had to stereotypically hot to make me look your ways. that's not what I'm saying. I have to think you're hot, good looking, cute. no one else even has to agree with me (Personal tastes are too varied). so, I guess that makes me superficial in the end, because I do think looks count. Sorry, but I have to enjoy looking at you!

[LilMiss]

The hottest guy can become unattractive if he opens his mouth and either has a cocky personality or is unintelligent. So people that say looks don't matter are full of it because looks are the bait that reel us in and personality is what determines whether or not we'll stay on the line. So they really go hand in hand.

[Rafael151]

FYI, It looks to me like A and B are really the same answer. In my case, it's not so much what as when. In the very early phase, it's very much a physical attraction. Having felt the attraction, then personality quickly takes over and determines how well we hit it off. There are women who can say things with their eyes and have an attitude that affects body language and how they move. Then there is the voice. Some of that is part physical, but not entirely. Where do you draw the line? So it's a definite 70/70 for me.

[Jessica32]

I noticed that, too.. about A & B being the same :p

[Superstrength79]

Looks can land me, but a personality has to cement the deal. Some women just become ugly to me when I find out what they are like as a person. On the other hand, I've found some women with great personalities to be more attractive the longer I knew them.

[StarDrifter]

For me looks at first, because I really don't know their personality. Their attitude will be a catalyst on what to expect from their personality. Once I establish their personality, then it takes the place of what I love most about them. Looks = interest, personality = LOVE!

[ashleakate]

I think, for me, I usually go for looks on first impressions. But someone with a strong and up beat personality can really catch my eye. I love guys who are really funny and go out of there way for you. But looks help. A lot of the attraction is built up on first impressions, so looks have to count to a degree.

[archer86]

When I was young, crazy and horny, looks was all I needed. Now that I am older, somewhat wiser and still horny, personality first. It takes more than two boobs and a pretty face to impress me, a woman must have a heart and a kind personality for me. But I will always peek at pretty women anyway.

My problem is that nobody looks at me with any interest no matter how good my personality is :(

*sob*

[lovebird01]

I have to agree; the older you get, the more personality means in a relationship. I guess guys can be pretty shallow when they're young!

[Superstrength79]

Well, you have to remember that younger people aren't fully developed emotionally either. They can reproduce, but are otherwise still children in some aspects.

[JeVousAime]

Well I would say 60% Personality, 40% physical attractiveness but there isn't an option for that so I just put 50-50. =P

Obviously personality matters to me more, but you've got to find the person physically attractive!

[johnsmith2116]

Naturally they have to have a personality that I enjoy, but I only approach a girl if I'm physically attracted to her.

[SexGod1]

I totally agree!

[bookjunkie]

For me, personality is what I find the most attractive. Yes, physical attractiveness is always nice, but personality definitely has more to do with it.

[ivarei]

if the second one is supposed to be 60% personality 40% physical attractiveness, then I choose B.

[Anonymous]

I would say 99 percent looks and 1 percent personality.

My personality doesn't matter. Girls may say it matters, but when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter.

[twinky]

Yeah, it's never been split. Although in our comprehension we may not be that accurate in the percentage what suits us always wins. We are not perfect but we always have options.

[missne]

Vote A and vote B are the same. :P

[trickstir85]

Missne - haha thanks! I didn't catch that. Well, math isn't my strongest point. Then again. Lol

[Rafael151]

You caught it right away it seems. But it doesn't appear that we can edit mistakes in our own questions and answers. We can add a comment, but who's going to see it?

[WindChaser]

What happened to my 75% personality and 25% looks?

[trickstir85]

Interesting ratio. Give me your theory to back it up. :) Coming from a guy, I would have that ratio to be highly unlikely. Enlighten me.

[kiroarous]

the first 2 options are the same. lol.

[soxfan94]

Yeah. If there were a true 60 personality/40 looks, I would have chosen that one, but all we got were two identical 60 looks/40 personality choices.