What does this "guy code" mean??

[nermalinda]

OK, so there's this guy I really like, but I find his behavior SO confusing!

He's pretty outgoing, but sometimes acts a bit shy around me. The trouble is, I can't tell if he's really acting shy or if he's maybe not that interested in me and a bit annoyed.

I'm also afraid he thinks I've put him in the "friend zone", when I really haven't. It's just that I genuinely like him, and don't want to rush into anything.

Guys, what's the difference in how you treat a girl if you like her and feel shy around her, as opposed to feeling more neutral toward her and maybe even wishing she would back off a bit?

I'm probably confusing him, too, by both flirting with him and treating him like a friend, but I don't want to get into a relationship without being friends first.

I'm mainly confused because he does seem to make at least somewhat of an effort to interact with me when we are together, but since he does tend to be outgoing, I can't tell if it's just him being friendly or an indication of interest.

We have each other's cell numbers, but he never contacts me. Although the few times I've texted him, he's responded.

If you never contact a girl that you're at least friendly acquaintances with, does that automatically mean you're not interested in her?

We always see each other at least once a week at the bar we both go to, so he knows he can talk to me there if he needs to.

[Falkenbok]

I'd say he likes you, but he's nervous that if he says or does anything over the 'line', you'll go off him, hence, I expect the average interaction would go something like Outgoing-friendly-chatty, then a bit flirty, then a bit more flirty, then suddenly shut down when he thinks "oh damn, I just said , I hope I've not offended her, I bet I've offended her, I should probably play it safe for a while as not to really raise her ire".

That you're vascillating between flirty and just friends couldn't t help and may be re-enforcing his view that he's offended you.

[scbigmac07]

Look, you should stop playing him hot and cold. If you want to have a relationship with him, but only after you become friends, then you need to ease up on the flirting and just be friends. Just ask him to do something with you. Jut because you to go do something does not mean that you're out on a date. Do something simple like bowling. Otherwise he's going to think that nothing will ever happen and that you're not really friends and just someone you talk to every now and then.

[nermalinda]

I think you're right. I'll try just being friends and see how that goes.

[scbigmac07]

It might take a fe weeks, or maybe a few months, but when you feel you like him well enough and know him better, then start laying hints again. Point of suggestion though, I recommend staying close, but not clingy, just because he might feel he's officially in the friend zone and start looking for other women.

[OMG_look_its_nickels]

Dissapear for a bit.. miss a couple rounds at the bar. He'll either come chasing after you, or he'll go elsewhere.. Some guys like a challenge, and while most WOULD believe that guys like girls that come on quickly, IMHO, that is a myth.. It is much more fun, and Ego-feeding if there is challenge. just play hard to get, & see how it goes

[anabur]

usually if a guy likes you, he'll find excuses to talk to you or be around you...