Does he like me or does he just want sex?

[Tabby13]

I had been talking to this guy for a few days via text and calling. We decided to meet for the first time about a week later. We were both really excited but I told him I was also a little nervous. He told me not to be nervous and the entire time he was most worried about making sure I was comfortable. We did end up making out a lot and had sex at the end of the night. I was fine with that but after we had sex is when things got awkward. When we were done, he got dressed, and grabbed his phone, said something like wow its almost 1. It felt like he was just trying to get rid of me but I wasn't sure. I told him that I understood that he had been up late and was probably tired. So he took me back to my car (which we had left somewhere else so he had to drive me to it) Earlier that night when we were in the car, he couldn't keep his hands off of me, well when he was taking me back to my car, he didn't touch me once. He kept asking me if I was ok, and I of course would say yes, even though I felt used. When we said our goodbyes, we hugged and he made sure my car started before he left. Then told me to text him to make sure I got home OK. The next day, I texted him asking him later in the afternoon after almost deciding to wait for him to do it first. We talked a little but that was it. I asked if he wanted to get together again the next day and do something, he said we will see.

I didn't hear from him until a week later, he had been out of state for his job. He texted me and said "did I do something wrong?" I told him he hadnt and he said that he had been trying to text me. but I never got any. He also said that he thought I didn't like him or that I thought the sex was bad because he came early. I told him that no, I thought it was the other way around, I thought he didn't like me, he said to that, "trust me I do"

Well, this week we have been trying to get together, and I knew we would be having sex, one night that we planned it, he kinda stood me up, but explained himself the next day. Then last night I did end up going to see him, we talked for a little bit and then we had sex. But again, after sex he did the whole its getting late thing. We talked for a few more mins and then he asked me what I was doing the next day. I texted him when I got home like b4 and and told him that we would talk the next day. he replied with "awesome good". We talked a little today, but not a lot. I do understand that he is extremely busy with his job and he also coaches and is a volunteer firefighter, so he can't just text me when he wants. but sometimes it takes him 4 hours b4 he will reply.

also, the second time we had sex, he came early again..I'm kinda thinking that the reason he gets all anti-social and anti-touch is because he's embarrassed because of that fact. It doesn't bother me and I've tried to tell him that. I really like him but I don't know how to tell him that I want more than just sex. I would like to spend more time getting to know him. I want to ask him out on a normal date.

Updates

+1 y

I have an update to this but I put it in a question.

[Littletad]

I was beginning to think he was a liar and just using you until you mentioned his jobs. Are you positively sure that's his job? His choice of words indicates that he's playing you for a fool. He's acting dense on purpose. The other mistake is that you had sex the first time you all met. Even though you talked on the phone prior and texted, it was still a mistake doing that on first meeting. Then to make matters even worse, he EXPECTED sex again on the second date. You've moved too fast too soon. And his excuses give him leverage for a few weeks until he has none left.

Anyhow this is just my observation. As for his "cum too soon", well obviously he ain't faking that. Not only do you have a possible liar on your hands, but a sexually dysfunctional one too boot. Serves him right, if he really is indeed lying.

And if he isn't lying, then he's got some serious priority issues. If he's not able to date, then he shouldn't be dragging you along. Period.

[Tabby13]

Those are really his jobs. I've been to the fire station with him at least and know that he does do that. I agree that I shouldn't have had sex with him the first night, but I did..not much I can do about that. If that is all he wants, then I can be ok with that, I just want to know so I can keep my feelings out of it because I really do like him. He and I did a little more talking last night, and I'm starting to think that maybe he's just shy. Which we almost talked about but I didn't want to push it.

[authentic]

"When we were done, he got dressed, and grabbed his phone, said something like wow its almost 1." This is where he betrayed himself (and a stupid player too, calling his friend to brag about his successful hunt like that). Don't fall for his "volunteer firefighter" thing either. A player needs a reasonably reputable facades to lure his prey, just like good actors still need good costumes.

If you want to, by all means observe him a bit more. Notice his facial expressions, very carefully. Catch the split-second ones (actually, 1/5 of a second), that's how Eckman, an instructor for lie detection for FBI, CIA, judges, juries, ... etc. teaches. Ultimately, use your gut feelings. They are NOT part of your day-to-day emotions. They are far deeper, the "I just know" type. They never lie, and can't be lied to, unlike your emotions/mind.

[authentic]

"even though I felt used."

Agree. Deep inside, I think you already know that. Trust your gut feelings.

I heard from friends working in hotels that movie stars (world famous, not kidding) called prostitutes to the hotel and were very "nice" to them, came down to pick them up, and after using them, escorted them off into a cab. Well, people who didn't know they were prostitutes would think they were their girlfriends, and maybe that's why those "stars" were so "nice".

[Tabby13]

We haven't been in public b4 lol. that would really suck if he's using me like that. and I'm not completely confienced yet if he is or not. but I'll know soon enough. He's only getting a few more chances...I've acually made some progress.

[authentic]

Pls. see the new post above. I posted it as new as it exceeds that 500 words limit with comments.

[lilyogi6]

You can tell normally if a guy is using you for sex. I myself have seen it and I would never do it. A guy will try and act like he's ur best friend but won't care about if your home ok or any of that I think he sounds like a shy guy like me who is afraid and nervous to do anything or say anything that will ruin things. Try and just ask him if he would want to meet up but just to talk and frigure out who he is more than the sex.

[Tabby13]

I asked him if he would want to just hang out sometime, and he said yes. So I'm hoping to learn a little more when that happens. He and I were joking on the phone last night and he made a comment about me being loud (sorry, may be to much info for u) lol butI said yeah well ur not, his remark to that was sorry. So I started thinking that he was taking that in more than just one way. I think he really is shy.

[lilyogi6]

Yeah it seems like he's a shy guy so take it slow with him lol