Why does she act different around me?

[geoff]

There is this girl I've liked for about 4 years but until recently I've not had the stones to do anything about it. I've been a loner for most of my life so this is all new to me. She's really social around other guys and her friends but when I'm near her she seems to just kinda draw back. She does talk to me occasionally in real life and we chat on face book but I'm usually the one who initiates it. Is she guessing that I like her and trying to get me to back off? or what does this all mean. Any advice on how to get her to start conversations...actually any advice or thoughts on this would be great.

[pianogirl123]

Well, let me just say that it's a really good thing you're asking to hear girls' advice on this, because you've completely got the wrong idea. That's not a bad thing at all, but you should know that you're really missing something.

In no way is she telling you to back off. Honestly, if she's social around other guys but not around you, well... yeah, it means that she's probably shy. I'm not sure if guys react this way or not, but when a girl is around someone that she likes, usually her heart starts beating faster, it becomes more difficult to speak, and her emotions start racing -- it's not the greatest feeling in the world. Not to mention that we're always worried about saying something stupid or looking stupid or bs like that... yeah, if she's acting shy around you but still occassionally talks to you, she probably either likes you or is a bit confused about her feelings for you. No way does she hate you, though.

As for starting conversations... just ask her questions about herself. It might seem superficial, but it'll get her talking. Once she feels more comfortable around you, you guys can find out common interests that you both share and participate in more in-depth discussions, maybe leading to something more.

[DoggyDude]

Whenever a girls liked me she's been very direct about it (though granted I'm not that popular lol). Only time a girls been shy around me was when she wasn't into me (she knew I liked her and didn't know what to do about it).

[pianogirl123]

Keep in mind that girls aren't all the same... some girls are very bold about their feelings, but other's aren't. Personally, if I was this girl and I was interested in you, I'd be doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Well first of all you should know that as confident as they may seem, most girls are insecure (its not a myth). So ,she may like you and just get nervous around you. Since your a "loner" she probably doesn't exactly know every detail about you so she may be trying to avoid saying or doing something you may not like.

Here's the tough part!- The alternative is that she may not like you at all or may even feel uncomfortable around you. You said that you approach her and initiate the conversations so she may think that you're creepy and stalkerish ( I'm sorry to be so blunt). You should still talk to her just make sure you don't over-do-it.

P.S. if your wondering if I know what I'm talking about, yes I do, I'm a sixteen year old girl.

:) Good Luck!

[DoggyDude]

Her drawing back could equally be a sign she likes you as much as one she doesn't.

The fact she doesn't initiate conversation with you online does rather suggest she's not seeing you as a boyfriend material or someone she sees romantically.

It doesn't sound good for you to be honest. She's doesn't sound like she's engadging with you which is not a good sign.

Your probably best bet is to talk with her more often. Maybe ask her on a date. I don't think your chances sound good.

[pianogirl123]

From my own experience, I know that I'm way to timid to initiate any sort of conversation with the guy I like online. Yeah, he talks to me a lot IRL, but I always chicken out when it comes to chatting him up on Facebook.

[DoggyDude]

Well, I stand corrected then ;).

I still think he's on a thin wicket tho.