Guys, Why wouldn't my boyfriend want me to get breast implants?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a boob man. I am an a cup.
I really want implants. I am able to afford them and everything out of my own money. I don't know why he's so against me getting them. In the past, I have asked him what he would like to change about my body if he could, and he said he would want bigger breasts. Not in a mean way, he was just being honest.
I have been asking him for weeks about getting them. He's so firmly saying no and I really don't understand. Why not? Why?
I would like a male's perspective here. You guys should know what's going on in his head. I really want them, so I need to find a way that will let me talk him around.

[gray_sailor]

Any size breast is good... as long as they are real. Fake boobs don't have the right shape. Fake boobs don't have the right movement. At their worst, fake boobs make a woman that has them appear to be wearing a bra even when she is naked. Large boobs simply should not be perky. It looks wrong. The best thing that can be said about a boob job is that the result doesn't look fake.

The other thing you are disregarding is that size is only one factor.

How a boob feels to the touch matters. Boobs should feel fleshy and not firm or hard.

How a boob moves also matters. Boobs should jiggle and bounce and possibly sway. These movements are usually not present in boobs that are fake.

How the skin around the boob also matters. Even the best boob jobs have visible scaring. Circular scars around the areola or otherwise two incisions, one below each breast. If money is no object, then there is also a more expensive alternative where the only incision is in the area of the navel and both saline implants are inserted through there. No matter what, there will be scarring.

The sensitivity of the nipples also matters. Having a boob job risks losing losing the ability to feel pleasure by having your nipples stimulated by your partner.

Finally, accepting a woman as she is also matters. Having a boob job (as much as you might not intend it) reflects badly on him. Who would belive that you would do this thing to yourself but for the prodding and demanding and yes, manipulation from him?

Belive your boyfriend when he tells you NO to getting a boob job. He's not making it up, this is what he really belives.

[Asker]

But I just don't understand why he would be satisfied with my boobs, (there's really nothing there. I don't even know if you could call them boobs) when he has admitted in the past that he likes big boobs and that the one thing he would change about me is bigger breasts. Plus, I do understand that fake boobs look and feel NOTHING like real ones, but mine are so small. I don't have any cleavage at all. They don't bounce, they don't jiggle... Anything at all is better than what I have now.

[gray_sailor]

As you are, he is satisfied by you.

Getting a boob job makes makes the accusation by implication that when he says he is satisfied, he is in fact really lying. Men bristle at not being taken at their word.

Getting a boob job would, in that context, be an ever present rebuke of your boyfriend. One that you carry with you everywhere and display on your chest.

He likes large boobs. On this you belive him.
He also likes you. You treat that as a lie.

Have you even considered the possibility that if you have surgery, your relationship won't survive?

It would be one thing if you did this when you were not in a relationship. It's another thing entirely while he's your boyfriend.

[Asker]

Well if he left me just because I got surgery I don't think I would want to be with him anyway. I take it as a lie because of facts, and he is a soft guy so I know he's just saying it so he doesn't upset me.

[gray_sailor]

It is not because you underwent surgery that he would leave you.

It is because you think his words are a lie.

By having surgery you are forcing him to choose between personal integrity and fidelity to you.

What is the value of continued fidelity to someone who doubts your integrity?

[5k1nny]

Small natural breasts are infinitely better than large fake breats. There is nothing wrong with small breasts, and they are the one true insecurity which is completely unfounded, because that sort of thing doesn't matter. Besides, I find it pretty rude of your boyfriend to say he wished your breasts were bigger, I'm sure he wouldn't have liked it too much if you told him you wished his penis was bigger. And in my opinion, you should never get surgery for something such as breast implants. It is a complete waste of money and a perfectly fine pair of breasts, and it would be my guess that this is how your boyfriend feels as well about the issue.

[Asker]

I wouldn't want big, I would just get a nice C cup I think. I think really big is a turn off.
Guys always say they like small breasts, but go ga-ga over big ones. I really just want them to even out my shape. I feel so depressed about my breasts and there's so many nice clothes I can't wear. I can't even wear a bikini because I'll look like a little boy prancing around in his older sister's training bra.

[5k1nny]

It's just the way you are, you shouldn't change to appease anyone, I mean, I guess if it's what you want to do, then that's your business. All I am saying is your small breats are not a problem, I certainly don't care about breast size. Sure, I'm the same kind of guy who can appreciate larger breasts, but when it really comes down to it, I could care less how big they are and would be perfectly happy with smaller breasts, and thats how the other guys I know feel as well. You are just as attractive with A cup breasts as you are with C cup breasts, it is just not something you should fret over, and there are plenty of clothes you could wear that exemplify other parts of your body, including your breasts. You just need to work with what you've got.

[BigRedGreen]

He's probably afraid they will feel or look fake. Lots of guys think that all boob implants leave you with cheap or plastic looking, or feeling, boobs. My partner has implants. I can tell you that they don't all come out like that. A really good surgeon who knows what he's doing can make them look amazing - larger and more lifted - but still look and feel like the real thing. A big part of it is getting implants under the muscle, so everything on the outside is YOU. The other part is not going overboard on the size increase. Going from a B to a DD is a pretty big jump. Unless you have a lot of loose skin in that area, it's going to be hard for them to not look stretched and phony. Whatever you do, you have to get him to open up his communication and tell you more about why he doesn't want you to get them. It might not be the feel or appearance. There could be some anxiety lurking there - like he's afraid of how other people will perceive you (i. e. maybe in his head, he's afraid it will be like, "Here's my girlfriend, the stripper"), or how they will perceive him walking around with a girlfriend with "huge" fake boobs. You really have to get him to communicate more.

[vjreejr]

Natural is better and healthier. It's not YOU. If I was to hold a woman's breast who had an implant, I'm thinking "I'm just hold a bag of jelly covered by skin." I am a boob man too, but there are PLENTY A-cup women I'd want to be with in a microsecond.

[Asker]

I know, but he still oggles at big boobs and it makes me wonder why he doesn't want me to have them.

[atomique]

I second that

[vjreejr]

Don't worry. When you get pregnant or become a mom, you have some nice tatas. Besides, keep in mind all so supermodels who are A-cups.

[Asker]

But what's the point of having boobs when I'm a mother with stretch marks, a saggy belly and fat I can't lose? :(
I'm really fit now because I'm always in the gym. If I had implants, I would have a perfect hourglass figure.

[vjreejr]

That's a bunch of horseshit. Lots of women have fantastic bodies after having kids. I know a woman, 52, A-cup, mother at 17, grandmother before 40. Absolutely fantastically fuckable. When I am near her helping her at work, I get a tad apoplectic because my testicles are working overtime to make extra wad to blast into her. I keep my cool though, but, OMG!

[Asker]

hahahaha well, that's great for her. She should feel good about herself.
But that doesn't happen to all women. It's largely down to genetics. I would still make an effort to keep fit, but there's no guarantee that I could still be attractive.

[vjreejr]

Actually, she feels a bit insecure about her top. She wears short skirts and high heels and has fantastic legs to die for. Her husband, whom I know well - we all work together and get along well - won what we would say is "The Fuck Lottery"... and he knows it.

... and she has an A-cup.

[Battooot]

He likes you the way you are. I wouldn't want my girl getting fake boobs either, i hate fakness alltogether. Small boobs can be sexy as well, and he might have liked you having them that way

[Asker]

But, he still looks at big boobs. I hate it when he says "I like yours the way they are," because obviously he doesn't. I don't mind if he looks at other girls, it's just frustrating when he looks at big boobs but won't let me have them. It kind of just makes me feel like he's with me because he doesn't think any other guys would be interested in me, so there's no competition for him.

[Battooot]

It's our nature to look at other girls we find attractive, most men will do that. Even if you got bigger boobs he'l probably still look at other girls' boobs. by the way did u ask him WHY he doesn't want u to get them?

[Asker]

I wouldn't mind if he looked at other boobs when mine are done. It's just that I can't understand why he says he likes mine, but doesn't stare at other flat chested girls.
I asked him a lot, but all his answers seem to just be made with my self esteem in mind and not honest. He says he likes mine and that he's worried about me getting breast cancer. He then asks who I'm trying to impress, so that just makes me think that he only wants me because he doesn't think other guys would want me.

[Battooot]

WHO do you want to impress as in: WHY would you want to impress someone else if i'm already impressed with you. also why do you think no one else would date you, can i see a pic of you please? you can send me a tinypic link in PM.

[parkway]

You have real ones and are looking to bump up to some funny feeling sacks of something that is not real. The feel is odd.

May look good but no fun to feel.

[Asker]

But neither are my a cups. They're just little pouches of skin lol

[Ligerzzero]

He is worried if you get them, you will leave him for someone else, just being honest.