Why does he tend to text me more at night?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking with this guy for a few weeks and he usually texts me earlier in the morning before he goes to work or just when he's up. We talk back and forth for only a little bit then later in the afternoon we sometimes text a lot or not much at all until night time. I understand we both have lives and that's fine but I just wonder why sometimes he texts so late. He doesn't say anything sexual by the way it's just a normal convo. Yesterday we only talked a little in the morning then didn't text me till like 12 30 at night and we texted a little bit asking how my night was etc but then he said he was really tired and he fell asleep. Then in the morning he texted me saying hey beautiful. I know he's into me but I'm just wondering sometimes if he there's a reason he does text more at night. Do any of you other guys do this?

Updates

+1 y

Oh and he usually doesn't even text till 12:30, he falls asleep a little before so I was surprised to even get a text lol

[lalaloopsy93]

Well to be honest it sounds like you have a dilemma on your hands... He's a guy. Most men I've dated have texted me all hours of the night and all hours of the day, and some days not at all. They're flighty creatures who do what they want when they want. Now to me it seems like there is an underlying question that you're trying to portray, that being that you think he has someone else that he's spending times with. If you get that idea, you have two options.
1. Talk to him. And I don't mean flat out, "Hey are you talking to other people?" I mean, start out like you always do and introduce the idea/question gently. If you come right out the gate you're going to look insecure.
2. Stop talking to him. If that's even possible, because I know sometimes it isn't. Or just stop talking to him when it's inconvenient for you. Like 12:30am is fine for me because I'm already up. But for most other people, that's prime sleeping time. You mess up my sleep and you're dead to me. If you wake up and want to reply, tell him you're sleeping and to text you at x:xx time.

Might I ask how old you are, or an age range to get and idea of what else I can say. And also his age.

[Asker]

I don't necessarily think he's talking to anyone else honestly, I would like to think he's just busy on some days and he just replies when he can which is fine, better than not replying at all in my opinion. Yeah I see what you mean, well for me I'm up past midnight most of the time so it's fine for me but I know he goes to bed earlier than me and is up earlier so I guess he just talks when he can since we of course have different schedules. I am 20, soon 21 and he's already 21. Yea I don't want to just stop talking, I like him a lot but I just want to wait it out I guess and see.

[Asker]

He also did used to text much earlier before he knew the time I got up lol So he did start texting me a little later around when I get up so that's nice.

[lalaloopsy93]

I would leave it up to your better judgement. If you're ok with him texting you when it's convenient for him then that's how it will be. However, the second it becomes something you're unsure of, whether it be his fidelity or lack of interest in you, hit the ground running. You are young. I've been with the same guy since I was 14. We have been on and off, more off than on I can honestly say, but i wouldn't trade it for the world. We have a house and dogs, it's a great set up. Now if someone had told me at the beginning of our relationship just how much mud I would have to trudge through, I would have left. The last time we were on a break I was 19. I had the time of my life! I'm glad we're back together but I'm also glad we had time apart.
My point is, every relationship is different. Whether you're fresh out the gate or been together for years. Asking other people's opinions is going to give you just that... Opinions. Don't put up with someone who doesn't want equal shares

[lalaloopsy93]

Also for those that say he's just busy... Well ya... We all are at some point. But we make time for the things that matter to us. I'm gonna text someone when I think of them or when I have something to say. They can reply within a minute or within a day, as long as they reply. If everyone texted when they had time, phones would become obsolete. Right now I should be switching my clothes in the dryer. Then after that I should clean my house. Never once looking at my phone because I'm "busy." Instead I'm on my front porch, getting bit by Mosquitos and listening to 1,800 frogs sing to me because another female was in need of relationship assistance just as I was about to go inside.
So again, you make time for the things you care about and if you aren't making the time then you obviously don't care a whole hell of a lot.
Side note: if he is busy... Does he let you know what he was doing? That was always a big thing for me.

[Asker]

He actually just texted me now by the way lol Well I mean he doesn't always just do it when it's convenient, the other night he was texting me till like 1:30 in the morning to talk when he usually is in bed an hour before. But I agree he does seem to do that a lot. Yea I have no problem stopping talking with him if I don't feel like I'm being treated right or anything. That's a cute story, I'm glad it worked out for you its very rare since you met at such a young age. Yeah he does tell me most of the time, he won't respond for a few hours and he'll tell me he just got home and what he was doing. I agree with the being busy though, I always try and make time and I know he does here and there but not as much as I'd like.

[Asker]

But then again we aren't in a relationship yet so I think once we get to know each other more and get more feelings for one another, he won't mind taking out some time. I don't know if that will happen but for now I'm going to see where it goes until then.

[lalaloopsy93]

Right on, just keep yourself sane and don't overthink things. Easier said than done lol. I used to talk to a bunch of guys at once and which ever one peaked my interest the most won the "game" so to speak. It sounds worse than it was though, honestly is key and as long as your open with him or any future "hims

[lalaloopsy93]

Sorry hit submit, as long as you're honest with whoever you end up with you will find yourself to be a lot happier. So when you get these kinds of thoughts just bring it up. Do it as a joke and keep it calm though. You'd be surprised at how often being open and honest weeds out the bad eggs.

[Asker]

Lol I agree with ya on that one, most things are easier said than done right. Yeah I used to talk to a few guys at once too, except this guy, only talking to him right now. Very true, it makes things much easier just being honest and open from the beginning, that way like you said it weeds out everything. Yeah I think if it keeps happening I might play it off as a joke and just see what he comes up with, he seems pretty honest so I don't think he would even mind. I really appreciate taking the time to help me out and share your opinions and thoughts by the way!

[lalaloopsy93]

Not a problem. I'm all for talking about boys! They're hilariously obvious when they're under 35. Once you date men older then that... Talk about confusing!

[mysoccerman]

yeah, usually you want to start later in case the conversation stalls and you can just go to bed without appearing rude or disinterested. plus, if a girl is willing to stay up just to text you you know she at least cares a bit. both of these are some of the reasons, it's also one of the only times he's probably completely free to think about what to say to you!

[Asker]

Yeah thats true I can understand that, we both try and stay up to talk so its nice, thanks for your thoughts!

[Bearenwolf]

He likes you, but his work is occupying most of his day, so he doesn't have enough time to talk to you.

[Asker]

He doesn't work much right now from what he told me but I know he's in college too so it takes up time, thanks!

[Bearenwolf]

Part time job, with college 2-3 cources, that's about 8-14 hours of work, and if he is also into sports, then yeah most of his day is occupied. Maybe, if you text him here and there, he might respond to you in different occasions.

[Asker]

Yeah I can understand that completely and I do text first sometimes but I don't wanna keep texting him if he doesn't reply so I just wait

[Anonymous]

Not working, not busy, etc.. it's just a nice time to talk

[Asker]

I agree that's very true, thanks!

[DarkHumorRUs]

Sounds like he's just busy.

[Anonymous]

Some people say it's good to text her at night so he will be fresh on her mind and sleep thinking about him. I personally don't think that really works haha

[Anonymous]

He's probably busy in the day