How to feel like a woman again?!

[Anonymous]

Ever since I got cheated on I've felt so unwomanly and insecure.. how do I get it back? in a way I've felt sexier, having a new, single identity... but every time (deep inside of myself) when I think of how I was cheated on, I feel stripped of my womanhood, if you will. like I wasn't good enough, or pretty enough, or woman enough for him 2 stay with me... like I wasn't a good enough female or something? lol I feel like I failed somehow! anyway, I don't want y'all 2 think I'm ugly or can't get any guys... that's def. not the case. I just wonder what is wrong with me to why I couldn't keep my bf. we dated 3 years, he slept with my best friend. it was like I was used 2 get to her, cause in a way I was, because if it wasn't for me he would've never even known her, let alone had a one night stand with her that destroyed our relationship. =( did he think she was more woman than me? she had bigger breasts than me and was very petite. I'm the opposite.. my chest is not very big and I have big hips a booty, etc. he always said he loved that about me... but his actions said differently when he did that. I don't know =( its hard not to compare myself to her since this happened. I am very wounded from it all, especially self-esteem wise.

[samantha1]

Honestly, a man who cheats on his woman is no man at all. I think of them as cowards. Why get into a "committed" relationship if you are not going to be faithful..it just doesn't make any sense to me. But I really believe that you should stop beating yourself up over this. This guy who cheated on you clearly does not deserve to have you in his life. You are better than that. Don't compare yourself to someone who hurt you in such a horrible way. Do you honestly want to be the type of girl who sleeps with your "best friends" boyfriend? I'm guessing not. I haven't personally seen you, but I believe you when you tell us that you are an attractive woman. You are no less of a woman for being cheated on..but instead you are more of a woman for walking away from that relationship. Trust me, there is nothing less about you. He lost in the end, not you. Later down the road you will find a real man who will love you for who you are and will treat you like you truly deserve. Don't let this bump in the road stop you from finding what will truly make you happy. I know you are capable of getting through this, you just have to keep a positive mind and attitude even when times are tough. And remember, just because someone may have bigger breasts or other physical features that may outshine yours does not mean you are any less of a person. We were all made differently for a reason and we should all embrace who we are and what was given to us. Good luck and don't give up.

[Anonymous]

you know what? all I got out of that was how you are a real woman. real women stick by there partners side without loosing loyalty. And real women have nice big hips, that is the sexiest thing about a woman to me. That guy, was not a man. A man knows what he wants and doesn't need to experiment if anything HE is insecure cause HE cheated, obviously he needed to feel like other girls wanted him and couldn't deal with the fact that he had a real woman by his side, I've seen countless girls cheat and can't last 2 months in a relationship cause they need to feel wanted and desirable. I will bet you anything that guy you were with will regret what he has done and try to get back with you. I can only imagine the heartbrake this has caused you, I'm sorry how people are. Just keep your head high.

[Asker]

Wow, ty so much for ur response. I agree he is insecure, he was a very needy bf. I'm sure at some point in time he felt very happy and "manly" to have me as his gf... I just wonder when/why that stopped. perhaps I got old? I realize there are 2 issues that come into play also.. 1) I've always had body insecurities 2) always felt guys liked her more than me dating back to highschool etc. so for this to happen almost confirmed it to me in a way that perhaps she is I don't know sexier or just all around

[Asker]

Better than me? I mean for those moments that they did this together they were both totally disrespecting me.. it makes me wonder what I have done to make them feel that that is okay. perhaps I'm not womanly enough to her either. in anycase, it must've made her feel nice 2 know that she can distract her bestfriends boyfriend of 3 years if she wanted =P and for him: nice 2 kno he can get in his gfs friends pants... whether they have been friends over 10 years or not! lol

[EddyMetal]

Don't let that stupid asshole bitch of a man make you feel bad. I'm sure you're beautiful. There are a plethora of guys who prefer booty over boobs.