Why does he freak out when I touch him?? (Page 2)
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If he does like you, he wants to make sure no one knows it. Next time he freaks out when you accidentally touch him, then right after, play with him, jump on his back or touch him even more on purpose and see if he smiles or really gets mad. A smile will let you know he's got something for you. Getting angry means he really thinks you are gross :( Sorry.
Oh my , I don't think so - if he wanted and one to know he WILL get mad.. He may no like me & get mad & if he does like me he would definitely get mad.. iI don't see how jumping on his back will help, if he already freaks out.
That would bother me even if I LIKED domeine - I like my space too.
I don't touch ihm on purpose partly because I would not like it.
It is just that when I do it by accident, I happen to notice that he freaks out.. I really just wanted insight lol I am not trying-attack
One of my friends is this way, too... We can be joking, laughing, having a good time...and then I touch his arm, or poke him or something, and he freaks out. I also asked to hug him (and of course) he said No. His reason was that only couples hug. But I think some people are generally more huggy and open, and others are more reserved. I think it's just how he is.
Yeah, except he is not like that with other people. but I know what you mean.. lol I am actually one of THOSE people, who do not like to be touched, but he kind of gets really weird about it. I mean I just tell people, but he freaks out, & he hugs other people in front of me. I am not saying it is FOR me, I just mean I have SEEN him hug people.. He would not even hug me when we went out. lol
Well he might have really sensetive skin, I have that so I'm very ticklish. Or maybe there is something wrong with him... It's not you though, everyone loves to be touched, he is abnormal.
Wow, have you always had that... I am VERY ticklish but I thnk I do not jump if someone touches me, well unless I LIKE them, or HATE them lol
I am glad you think it is healthy, but I think some people actually do not LIKE it.. I am uncomfortable with t SOMETIMES..
He does get touched by other people & he seems to be ok.. I am just worried maybe he thinks I touch ihm cause I LIKE him, I would not do, cause I would feel too self conscious.
We used to date & I kind of stopped talking to him
Some people are not used to being touched and then again some have been abused physically or mentally. Try just being his friend, he might one day open up to you.
He is probably just self conscious. I am guessing he thinks you are really special so your touch is going to feel really ecstatic to him.
Your sweet- you win as far as flattery goes... As far as believability well, I don't know....
Altho I could actually relate to what you are saying...
There are a select few people that I know where in thee touch IS LIKE LIGHTENING. lol
That ever happen to you?
- Do you really hate cop cars? :-)
Yes. I do hate cop cars. I mean what I said though! When I have a girl I really like just even hold my hand I sorta like melt internally.
But isn't that GOOD.... I mean you would not freak out with that - would you? Like jump, or look real shocked & almost like your space was invated, or your calm... Really uncomfortable - unsettled.... Maybe he does not know what he LOOKS like lol...
He gives me some pretty strange looks from time to time, lol
How do you think I can I tell if it's cause he hates me, or cause I just make him feel weird?
If he didn't like you at all I am sure he would find a way to avoid you. Some guys are pretty tense and uptight at first. Try to talk to him more and see if he opens up. We could all use another new friend if anything.
You're so sweet^ Yeah, I guess that is ttue.. Tho sometimes I fe like he comes to see me just so he coold act mad or something... I know that sonds a bt much, but he sure is moody.
It is pretty hard for me to talk to him, I mean I get nervous.. That's why I was experimenting with the touching, a little variation on the stiff talking- got stiff composure lol... He totally tolerates it just fine when OTHER people touch him, I think he may be less uptight in general, then I think personally^
Yeah I have a friend who is like that, he definitely likes the attention though! Just be you and he will open up eventually.
What if he ges really annyed first, then w don't get to befriends... HOw do you decide which direction to go?
I mean I could be more sarcastic & detached outwardly, , like I usually am, or a bit more sensitive inside, & maybe a bit more understanding outside, cause I LIKE him.. But the talking thing is a problem, cause I have a REALLY HARD TIME TALKING TO HIM, LOL
I don't want to annoy him, or drive him away, or make him think I don't like him, but also friendship is a different possibility
It is REALLY hard to scare a guy off. Just don't try to be anything, act like you would around anyone else. He isn't any different than them. Just try it! A woman with confidence is sexy. We love telling our friends that "some cute girl talked to me today."
Haha, I don't TRY to act different, I just can't be normal... I mean I get like really technical, & overly explanative, or I clam up.. It is hard to just think about normal things.. Every once in a while I notice that I am just talking normal, & it is grat & then I get nervous.. You really think it is hard to scare a guy off? Well maybe except - the people he talks to like his b friend ... If he wants to tell HIM he talked to a cute girl...Everyone thinks I am cute. but he is irritated often^
You just need to slow down a bit. Sounds like you probably worry a lot. Just take stuff one day at a time! My main advice to you is to just relax a bit.
Thanks, I guess I finally was able to do that,- a while back... & He could not relax, so I a a bit shell shocked.... But I do understand what you, mean about one day - it feels beautiful when I can pull it off... The other thing is I am leaving before I was expecting & I am trying to make things peaceful before I leave - but I am not feeling very peaceful lol
Usually when a man acts like that, its mean he is a gentleman first but at the same time he is trying to figure out on how to relax around you and making sure that it's ok that you are comfortable around him.
Play him a tune next time he does it.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ta7nYaeEO7gIt sounds like you want people to tell you that it's because he likes you.
If you like him, then just ask him out to coffee or something.
NOPE.
I want people to tell me, it is not because HE thinks I LIKE HIM. LOL
I CAN'T ask him to coffee,we talk in a shop a lot of the day as it is lol
No I generally see people who like someone ok with touch...
Like I like him & I touch him, &he used to touch me when we met.. I am wondering if he is worried that I think he likes me like before.
I am not trying to create that kind of foundation.
I want things to be CASUAL, be friends - I broke up with him cause we never had a chance.
Sooo you went out with him. well that changes everything.
why don't you just ask him, no one knows better than him.
Oh. lol Cause I don't want him to freak out . Seriously, I don't know what's up with him,& I do not want to break up before we become^ friends.
What I did not have enough space say, was that I broke up BECAUSE I never got comfortable BECAUSE he wanted to start things so soon, & I had never been involved with anyone before.
I thouht then, I still think now, we would get along really well, without the STRESS.
I am not sure why it is so stressful,so it makes it hard to change it.
& ASKING? idk
Maybe he thinks YOU don't like him because you rejected him, and he's hurt by that, so when it's you touching him by accident, he doesn't like it?
idk
But it was like 1 year ago, & I did not mea to reject him..
I just did not want things to get messed up at a bad time, then miss out on a friendship in the future, forever - bad timing you know?
& Why would someone feel bad about touched by someone even if they DID reject them?
I would feel bad, but not cause someone TOUCHED me lol I'd probably LIKE it, I i LIKED them- tho I might feel toyed with.
Would it bother YOU W/ an Ex?
(We are not EX's tho... I traveled for a bit then came home)
If you went out and broke up, you are ex's.
and it might bother him because some people resent the person who breaks up with them. maybe he resents you.
or maybe he likes you but is afraid you'll know he does.
many possibilities.
ultimately he has the answer.
Haha, ok I know, but I do not want to say anything to imply that I LIKE him,cause we may NEVER be friends.... Um, is not TALKING to somene the same as breaking up?
Cause I was real specific, no 'GOING OUT we were 'GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTEHR' Cause I knew I was leaving soon, & I did not want to break up, when I left cause I LIKED him a lot.
So no Boyfriend Girlfriend -no BREAK up.
I just stopped talking to him two weeks before I left, then I talked once before I left he & I were mad- but then we were cool
All I can tell you is that either things stay this way or you talk to him then. it's hard to know what he is thinking.
I got it.. Thanks, but just tell me if you would think anyone would think of that as breaking up.
& also, I could just continue to talk to him & except that he is freaking out rom time to time, maybe that is nicer than taking t him,idk, I fe like TALKING ABOUT IT, would make him feel bad,or stressed.. It is not just that I do not want to, I think I would be nicer NOT to. I don't know why, it is just a sense I have.
:-)
I'm not pushing you to talk to him. Do whatever you are comfortable with. Obviously it is much easier said than done.
As for the breaking up thing, well, he might've still considered the 2 of you as going out. If you specified very clearly you weren't going out, then you're right, it was not a real break-up, just a sort of.. ending.
Thanks :-)
Um, It I think I said :
" I do not think it is a good idea to start something right now, because iamleaving soon & we just met, so everytig would be a bit rished, & I think we should wait..." he said, " I thought this was about getting to know each other "
& Then we spent about two weeks together every day, until I stopped talking to him
(NOt intentionally, for reasons other than him.. I did explain that at the end & at first he was mad, but then I think he got it : )
& It is not exacty ike I can say - do you think that I broke up with you. lol
Anyways, I do ont want to hurt him, & I think raising the past ,wold DO just that... Which is why I ask HERE instead of HIM LOL.
I just do not wt him t think I hate him or WANT him,cause I want to see if we can be friends.. So, if he s till offended, I guessi am trying t figure out how to win him over basically.
I guess the " touch thing" was sort of secondary lol
I think you helped me figure that out. :-)
I'm glad, though I'm not sure how haha.
Either way, I think maybe he made it seem like he got it because he didn't want to deal with it further, but quite possibly he took the non-talking thing really personally, and is even now somewhat resentful of it.
Good luck.
Well probably just because you kept responding with very straight forward no nonsense kind of responses, so it gave me some non psycho space t think about things clearly.. & it is not that I could have thought about it myself, but the way I was thing of it was thru if I cold touch him or not, when I do not even usually do that to ANYONE anyways, so it was really artificial.
Yeah, it was helpful just not to be annoying even -so thanks.
I think he is not only still holding a grudge, but I think-
I think he intends to make good o it.. I mean I think he wants me to develop some resentment if my own..
When it ended he said I had would not talk to him, that I obviously lost interest, & I was purposefully ignoring him -like in the same room..
.... As soon as I said that was not the case he started to say things that were well, not horrible, but certainly not necessary. :-)..
We had a pretty good last day together, then right before I was leaving, he p*ssed me off, I left mad. lol
Hah, I guess that's what people do when they are sad about someone leaving. I know I've done that before.
Really ? haha, can you think of an example where you did that or someone else did that to you?
-Just curious.
People react by being mad and resentful about anything all the time :S
it is not really surprising, it's quite the human characteristic.
when me and my boyfriend were going away to university and were going to be long distance, I spent the last 3 weeks of our summer together being moody, getting mad for little or no reason, and pushing him away.
Some people don't like it, like some people don't like geting a massage because of the thought of someone else touching you. So it could be he may over sensitive to people touching him, talk to him about it there might be a reason,
He does not freak out when OTHER people touch him. Just me.
Maybe he likes you and he get weird becasue of that when you chat with him play a game like hold his hand for a bit or put ur hand on his chest and see how he reacts, or move closer to him inside his personal space whenyour talking to him she how he reacts does he take a step back...
Lol I think I WOULD FREAK OUT.
I really do not think I could do that.. & I do not want him to think I LIKE him, cause I DO but I REALLY want to be FRIENDS too.. That is why this bothers me, it8 is making it HARD to be NORMAL.
& Anyways, who walk up to a guy & puts there hand on his chest lol He'll think I'm a slut.- or I will anyways, hahaha
( Out of curiosity, how SHOULD he react, like if he liked me?)
:-)
He is shy. He likes you. He likes you A LOT.
I did the same thing with this guy I liked.
Oh? What happened , I mean , why did you do that?
:-)
I don't understand the down arrow lol because at least this is what it meant in my situation.
I can't exactly explain it... it's just that I was hyper-aware of his presence
and around him there was this electrical charge. I was nervous. I would tense up when the touching would catch me by suprise. So I was nervous and very aware of where he was, because I liked him so much.
Oh. Yes. Exactly I get it./.. lol Well, if / when he touches me by surprise that is exactly what happens, but I do not think of it the same way , because he touches me on purpose, so I figure he must be in control... Wow, that is funny, I totally forgot that I could have used myself as a comparison.
lol Yeah the down arrow was probably the down arrow scavenger - thee is someone who just down arrows indescriminately on this site - I am sure of itlol Thanks.
:-)
LOL he sounds like he doesn't want you to touch him, it's not as complicated as you think. He's not into you.
Men are like women we only allow people whom we accept to touch us.
He could of been abused by someone or your are catching him off guard.
Aome guys dont want physical touch.
If I were you just ask him.
LOL this guy is somewhat like me...he seems like he's shy and unexperienced he's not use to a girl and something as simple as contact will freak us out. I've had times where I'm like so use to no contact at all its like freak out alert O_O
He probably has some tactile sensory issues... it basically makes a person hypersensitive to touch
Maybe the slightest touch from you causes erections and it's awkward. Other peoples touch doesn't do the same so he can relax... I think you girls forget that this can occur and if we aren't wearing thick trousers...
he's just nervous, he doesn't get the subtle signs ur giving him, try something new. Make him feel comfortable and try touching his hand as to see it and write ur phone # on it !
Lol that would be like saying I want you to call me..anyways he has my number - and I don't use the phone anymore...i just moved lol but hey thanks
btw what subtle signs..i'm just trying to convince him that he won't get electrocuted - if we accidentally touch lol
Well who is this "he" and what is your relationship to him?
Ll well, HE is someone that I know well enough that I should not have to ask OTHER people this question, SO here is either a problem with him or ME haha.
Umm, we dated a year ago , he liked me for a long time before that - as I am told, I liked him right away.
We got along pretty well until I stopped talking to him - complicated not his fault,& we talked about it before you left the country for 9 months.
I have spent the last 7 months trying to talk to him, & we have been talking to him for th
The last three months -- beyond hi, hello how are you I mean.
So I believe my current relationship with him has improved to ^acquaintances who do not hate each other.
-Better than a couple months ago- but I am aiming for something a little more substantial ^^
He seems to be ok when other people touch him & he is just fine when he touches other people - tho the latter seldom happens.
He is DEF. really uncomfortable when I touch him - just accidental stuff, & he jumps - at least with his eyes*
Maybe he jumps because your touch brings memories. Idk. Just ask him what his deal is- and you say he jumps with his eyes? So maybe you're perceiving it the wrong way.
Its both- he LOOKS shocked & or uncomfortable, & he also moves physically. ( the combo is what makes me pretty sure he is reacting oddly)
I do't want to say anything to him about it - the last thing I want is for things to be any weirder lol
I just wanted to see if maybe there was a normal explanation, cause I he IS that uncomfortable, I will have to be more careful- cause I don't WANT him to be uncomfortable.
Anyways he would not tell me even if he KNEW, & maybe he is un- aware.
:-)
I don't like to be touched in a non romantic way. I don't like anyone being in my personal bubble unless its in a romantic way. Some people are born this way, myself included, and others its from past trauma.
I think it could be one of two things:
He is very self-concious
or
He has emotional baggage from past trauma
Umm yomean like physical traumma?
You know he sometimes sees like really deeply sad o tormented by something. Arond me, but he is also soetimes fin touching other people - well not touching but them touching HIM - sometime..
They don't pay attention to the way he stiffens up so I don't know if I am imagine or what.
The thing is- we used to go out & if he is physical in THAT way he seems like he ignores a peice of himself - he checks out mentally his hands are still busy.
Hard to explain cause -
Guys DO sort of check out, but this is different & he always seems a little bit ashamed in general.
i mean he has like a REALLY big ego, so it is not like he walks around like a lump but there is always this thing I can'y quite explain but it looks like a dark ness it just does, worse than me having to be confused -so should be more sympathetic.
Anyways thanks for - I don't know , I don't feel so out of left field I guess ;-)
BUt it IS more pronounced with ME, & I NEVER ABUSD HIM physically ^
It might have something to do with past experiences rather than with anything you do