Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex or be intimate?

Question

My boyfriend & I have been together for a little under a year. He works construction and goes to work around 4am and comes home at 5-6pm depending on the day. Just recently he's been avoiding sex. He keeps saying he's too tired from work. He comes home and will sit on the couch for 2 hours or in bed playing games on his phone until it's time to go to bed at 9. We barely get enough time to talk to one another. I ask him if we can have sex and he says he's too tired. On his days off I try to touch him and he will shoot up from bed and say "I have to pee" and come back and start doing something else like get ready. I offer to give him oral sex and he says he's too tired. I'm sick of feeling like I'm begging for any attention. Even just to cuddle or kiss seems like a chore to him. Cheating could be a possibility but I try not to think like that. I just don't know why he's acting so distant.

GingerGuy · Accepted Answer

Talk to him further, explain how you feel like you have here. Tell him you care and is anything wrong or going on with him? I completely understand being tired from work but this sounds like more to me, like something else is bothering him, physically maybe or something else? If he refuses to talk about it then not much you can do. Maybe suggest that you two aren't right for each other as you need someone that will communicate with you and see what he says to that? Maybe he's just so stressed and tired from work that he can't relax enough and it does FEEL like a chore to him but he needs to see that for himself and do whatever he needs to do to fix that for himself. All about communication which unfortunately some people lack badly.

posted · Accepted Answer

I've worked hours around there, especially if you live where it's extremely hot in the summer, doing heavy labour. Basically just want to shower and sleep, days off... I don't know it's a bit weird there too, after a while some days I got more used to it, long days I still just wante to eat, shower and sleep. I can't see refusing a BJ unless he would feel guilty. Weekends at least I'm sure I would still want sex haha. Ultimately if he can't keep up with you it probably is for the best.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Most women would be concerned and you are going to jump to conclusions like cheating, if he isn't willing to communicate and let you in, it would be a red flag for me if I'd raised my concerns/questions in order to resolve things and he got mad as he isn't considering your needs, only his own, and that you are 50% of the relationship and have a right to discuss and ask things even if uncomfortable as I'm sure you would do the same for him.

selmo93 · Accepted Answer

Ask him. And if he's working that much he probably is tired. Either that or he's feeling run down/depressed and it affects his sex drive as guys don't talk about that

Alan180188 · Answer

first we are men, even if we are laying sick in bed and about to die we think of sex and can get aroused easily, except if he have some disorder which is common in modern world and basically connected to Neurasthenia and in this case he doesn't want anything not just sex, he turns to a robot only work and sleep...
second you are a woman, appreciate your body don't show him that he can have it easily, men are stupid which I forgot to mention up, they like to chase the girl not the opposite...
cool down and move on with your life, and never call or contact him and even if come to apologize don't accept easily, keep pushing him away till he proves he really wants you in your life and after that give your self a high value and make him respect it, if he didn't contact you then it's what I mentioned up and doesn't have any cure and can destroy your life and waste your time so be careful !!!

BlackPantherSpeaks · Answer

I work in construction now and i can understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I wouldn't want to hurt my girl but, then again he does do CONSTRUCTION, that shit isn't easy period. But you're probably dating the wrong man, no man who loves his woman would walk out so easily... Just saying..

ParamountArmada · Answer

he's tired out guys dont get horny when were tired and exhausted, i work a hard job too and i haven't masturbated in a while because i ache all over i just can't get turned on.

uknaked · Answer

Whatever the reason, your future together is uncertain, it is unnatural to completely resist intimacy and sex. He could be gay, or bi with a preference for guys? Or could he have an erection problem?

Tenseven · Answer

I hate to say it but it sounds like he's cheating. :(

colourz · Answer

I wish I had a girlfriend that wanted to have sex and be intimate, but i guess i'm asking for to much

Anonymous · Answer

He needs vitamins or something, I can see him being to tired after work but to tired for oral? And no excuse for not doing it on the week end, but yeah we all have to pee bad in the morning

Anonymous · Answer

He's gay and in denial over it. Seen this sort of thing many many times.

chc0009 · Answer

How did this man manage to impress you in the first place?

BernieforLife16 · Answer

Explain your issue with him and maybe he'll understand. If not, new boyfriend time.

Sometimes12 · Answer

sounds like he is really tiered, maybe improve lifestyle and diet or somthing

Anonymous · Answer

Maby he started a new medication and can't get it up

ice_vampire · Answer

Tiredness kills sex drive.

Mert07 · Answer

Maybe he loves a different girl Can you know?

BarbieDollT · Answer

Cheating maybe 😕

jamesdegod · Answer

not his prob

Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex or be intimate?

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