Do men crave an intellectual connection with a woman?

Question

Or is that mostly something women crave in a man?

Syvient · Accepted Answer

ideal type would be a very successful confident man yes

the rest of us, well we are still just a few evolutionary cycles up from throwing poop at each other.

i have been put in a situation where i was dating a woman who made more money than i did. i wasn't used to it. beyond that it was all nice and good until she asked me to close my business, move in with her, sell my house, and she would just take care of me

i laughed at first cause it sounded like a jokey kindof thing to just blurt out

instead i got one of those cross sideways stares (looked like chuckle again bitch) and she says, did you think i was joking.

well needless to say, that was our very last day together

so intellect wasn't the problem though monetary success vs pride and passion was
if i moved to a much larger city complex like Atlanta or Chicago, I may have to face a situation like your describing. not that i am all that and a box of rocks but im in Kentucky so yea, the inbreds in the mountains and valleys kinda keep the gene pool at a very slow percolate

madhatters4 · Accepted Answer

definitely something i like. i think most men do want some sort of intellectual compatibility even if they don't realize it.

i'd imagine even most guys who say they don't care would change that story if they were with a girl who couldn't hold a conversation with them

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly, my boyfriend, said he preferred an emotional connection that we share. I remember i was going through a really bad patch in uni and i failed one of my courses and i met him while i was crying in the library and he helped me get back on my feet when i was most vulnerable and we connected emotionally to each other. He is an engineer and i'm an English major and we have varying derees of knowledge in different fields, but its not the reason why i wanted to be with him. I fell in love with how much he loved me and was there for me when i most needed someone to support me.

I think men crave an intelligent women, but not the kind that goes over his head... i think its more about if we as girls can connect emotionally and relate to them and their feelings. My 2 cents anyway :)

AriadneSky · Accepted Answer

yes many do very much. they'll lose interest without it. in my experience. which is great bc its not shallow -unless you're shy and take a while to open up. they can get bored assume youve got nothing to say.

I've never actually met a guy who was ok with pointless chitchat or purely physical relationship.

I've never met a guy who didn't care about intellectual stimulation. but the its a type i wouldn't be interested in so it could be my circles.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Men who are just interested in sex, will just be interested in sex.

Men interested in relationships will need to be able to stand you, and a prerequisite for a lot of guys I personally know is that a woman be capable of having a real intellectual conversation with them.

SensualScribe · Accepted Answer

Most men probably do. I cannot have a relationship without it and my boyfriend has told me that if he had not felt that from me that we probably wouldn't be together. I have a difficult time even being friends with someone who I do not feel an intellectual connection with.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

women THINK they crave that in a man. most of my friends wouldn't even know what to do with a clever man. and please girl, what kind of sexist crap is that? of course smart men crave smart women, cultivated women, with a broad spectrum of reading interests etc... .

ak666 · Answer

For me not so much as opposed to a "fun connection".

I come from the science and engineering R&D side of the spectrum, and my ideal girlfriend isn't necessarily one with whom I can talk data structures and algorithms and topics like data mining the human genome (bioinformatics). In fact, that sounds rather miserable.

I'd instead prefer to get mutually drunk with a girl and dance and sing karaoke.

I do tend to like women with a passion of some sort (ex: drawing and painting). It's mainly because I take great fascination in what they're interested in. That could involve scholarly topics like if she's a historian or archaeologist, since listening to such passionate people talk or perform or seeing them create something tends to make me really interested and can teach me a lot.

One of the reasons I like women with a passion in a subject that is interesting to me (typically not STEM subjects), is because they tend to be independent. They're not the type when, left on their own, starts to want to call me for hours or text me all day long and panic if I don't respond.

So mostly it's about fun for me. I like girls with whom I can have a great time. An intellectual connection isn't a strong necessity to that goal, and in some extreme cases can almost be an inhibitor. An emotional bond is far more important to me than in intellectual one, since our ability to share feelings and thoughts is usually a key prerequisite to establishing a peaceful, long-lasting relationship.

Anyway, I don't really put intellectual connection at the top of my priorities vs. being able to have a blast together and being able to understand each other on an emotional level.

Fearless_banana · Answer

Absolutely. If a girl can't challenge me on a mental level or is incapable of having an intellectual conversation with me than she is automatically ruled out as relationship material.

SomeGuy37 · Answer

I LOVE smart girls, TOTAL NERDS, with glasses even!! but that doesn't mean I can't like other women!!
I'm not 'Exclusive' with 'Smart Nerdy Women with Glasses', But I do, honestly prefer them!
I like their unique 'quirks' of personality, and if they are 'Star Trek Dorks'!! I like women that have something about them that STANDS OUT!! Something that they like, and makes them unique!!
I'm more interested in HER, and her personality, and what we share, and things we like, than all the other sht so many focus on!!

Brontosaurus · Answer

I would much rather have a good girlfriend than an intelligent one.

Being smart is a nice bonus, but it doesn't make you a good partner. I've dated a couple of the most intelligent women in the world, and they were terrible girlfriends.

In practice, I've seen no evidence that intelligence makes someone less likely to be selfish, spiteful, negligent, dishonest, or disloyal. In some cases, when somebody believes their intelligence entitles them to a higher quality partner or to special treatment, it can even be a negative.

The fact of the matter is that I can find stimulating conversation in lots of places. Love, commitment, and someone who can bake me cookies are much harder to find.

ImDeadpoolBaby · Answer

It's always nice to have a nice intellectual conversation without having to speak with someone with an IQ of a ant. But being smart is a double edge sword as people fear smart people and often reject them. See someone talking to me can talk about cars, motorcycles, spaces, physics, chemistry, conspiracy, politics, programming, more programming, ways to improve the world, more programming, a bit more programming and porn :D

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it depends on the "intellectual" converstion but my guess is this is more what women want. There are some guys to but I don't "crave" intellectual conversation ever with anyone lol. It depends what you mean by intellectual connection also and if I have any interest at all in the topic of conversation, a good chance I don't lol. Like, I'd never want to sit down with my partner and talk politics for example. Not happening. At least not a long in depth conversation I'd be so unbelievably bored in no time.

tbm1986 · Answer

For hookups, no but huge lack of intelligence is hard-on-crippling and patience-trying. For relationships, of course. I had a relationship with a girl who was low in intelligence, had no go in her and expected everyone to do everything for her. Never again.

MrShinyPants · Answer

I do, there are times id enjoy a smart conversation, something that isn't about clothes or stupid celebs or tv or boring politics etc.. Like convos about the speed of light and science and minerals, smithing, how things are made etc..

hellionthesage · Answer

I preffer it, that's actually a problem I can't seem to find women whom I have a strong mental connection with. I think its important for everybody just to what degree depends on the person.

mwin2030 · Answer

Absolutely. Personally I very much enjoy having an intellectual connection and conversation with a woman. However, it is not the yard-stick I use when determining if I want to be with someone. Its merely a great benefit to it overall.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Crave? I certainly want to have good and stimulating conversation, feel like we have something to give and grow. Not sure about crave though... There are women I value because of their intellect.

so women crave that? makes sense, I've seen that in a few women at least.

BiscuitesSwag · Answer

I see it as part of the overall personality, and since everyone needs to be compatible with a person personality wise before entering a serious relationship with them, I think it matters.

ParamountArmada · Answer

yes of course, but to a certain point you dont have to have the same "exact" interests such as favorite animals or colors etc, its more the compatibility intellect you need that has to do with your desires in love, sex and relationships, and how you view/perceive it. thats what i crave anyway all the other stuff is just a bonus.

FakeName123 · Answer

To get sexually attracted? No.
For a relationship? Partily. Yes, intelligence has a certain value - but I think many people overstate it. Both partners doesn't need to be on the same intellectual level as long as the one who is "lower" is capable of grasping what the other partner says - meaning they shouldn't be too far apart.

meatballs21 · Answer

Yes, I want someone intelligent I can discuss things with.

Whether you think it's fake or not, there really are girls like the one in this video and it's both physically and mentally painful trying to discuss anything with them more complex than reality TV and celebrity culture:

Shpongolia · Answer

Yes. I hate conversing with dumb girls. A girl who is intellegent will make a good lifelong partner as I can trust she will make good decisions and I won't have to worry about her making dumb mistakes over and over again.

Try6Curious9 · Answer

I don't know that I'd always need an intellectual connection to sleep with someone, but I do crave it for a satisfying relationship, even if that's a more casual relationship. I'm not sure if I could even do a recurring booty call/friends with benefits/f*ck buddy situation with someone if I couldn't make some level of mental connection.

DaddyRollingStone · Answer

I suppose it depends on the context.

I would like someone who is able to understand things I like and able to have conversations with them about more abstract things but I've noticed especially with women, they always feel the need to prove how smart they are when ever they can. That puts me off a lot.

DodgersGM · Answer

I do, yes. I think this is one of those things that most dudes want, even if they don't really know it/don't want to admit it.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Most men do crave that. Don't listen to movies or what girls online say. Listen to men, you'll see how many of us crave something like that.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I crave that as much as an emotional and sexual connection.  I need a woman who can stimulate my mind and challenge me, educate and help me grow.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes for me it's 60/40 with physical connection and intellectual connection. I enjoy talking to girls about interests and really like learning new things about people (both men and women). But to be able to have a great relationship with a women you no doubt have to have some sort of emotional connection, I notice this the older I become.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I do, I don't want an air head for a partner I want someone I can relax and joke around with but also have seriously discussions about politics, science and the like with as well.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

I do crave that, many men do not but I think it's actually more important to men/more men crave it.

I found that intellectual women (not only thinking about the field their job is in) are quite rare, even among the educated women.

modeve · Answer

Men normally do not crave an intellectual connection with a woman, they prefer beauty, body and her willingness to sex. Contrarily, woman mostly love/like an intellectual man.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Perhaps not all men, but it is something that I treasure about my girlfriend.

MusicLover8098 · Answer

I'd much rather have a deep emotional connection to be honest. Intellectual subjects like politics and science have never been my thing. I'm a hopeless romantic through and through.

springocelot · Answer

biologically, intelligence falls low on the scale of attraction that said, commonality and some amount of intellect is important for long-term compatibility

Penyair · Answer

Maybe but a lot seem to crave just having a buddy to do things with that you share a like of. I suppose it depends on how big of a nerd or geek they are.

HeWhoPonders · Answer

Intellectual connection? No. Whenever I meet a woman as smart as me, she usually ends up having some kind of complex.

Anonymous · Answer

we dont just want sex. Why are men always labeled as only wanting 'sexual connections' with women. Like look how many female, waste of time sluts u see on a regular bases.
Obviously when it comes to serious relationships we want intellectual compatibility.

Anonymous · Answer

I think we should shoot for a connection in every level we can, where we can't we compromise. If it gets hard to stand, then leave. But I've never dated so wtf do I know.

jacquesvol · Answer

I prefer an intellectual connection with a woman rather than superficialities.

Relentless_Hippie · Answer

Men crave an everything connection with a woman.  Intellectual, Emotional, Physical, Mental, Spiritual, everything.

feminismisnarcissism · Answer

It's a bonus I suppose. Mostly I want 2 things from a woman: Mutual respect and a strong connection, and that includes sex-we must connect on a few things and one of them MUST be sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Do women even know how to have an intellectual conversation with a man and still be interested in him?

Because it's been shown women get quite board when men try to treat them as human beings rather than sex dolls.

Markavia · Answer

I don't crave it, but it would be nice, but not too much that it over rides the romantic side of the relationship

slatyb · Answer

It was very important to me when I was dating. I was looking for someone I could imagine talking with for the next 40 years.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't like people who can't talk about anything other than reality tv. I like intellectual conversations.

ModernDayCrusader · Answer

I think most people desire someone with the same level of intellect. So, a man who is highly intelligent, will probably pursue a woman who is around his level and vice-versa

aftermath · Answer

Well it won't be any fun dating a rock now would it? If I didn't want an intellectual connection then I'd date a sex doll

Levin · Answer

I want a connection on all levels. I don't want a woman who is just stuck in her head all the time.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

I would want to be able to actually have something to talk about with her.

ElissaDido · Answer

I wouldn't want a man who doesn't want me for my intellectual side.

NajemEddine · Answer

there are more important connection :p  like usb 2.0 usb c hmdi... kidding any way men craves lot of things intellectual connection is not the top 100 of them

OrangeBoy · Answer

All men crave some sort of it. What really matter's the interests are similar. That's the challenge.

Anonymous · Answer

She doesn't have to be super smart. But beauty means nothing without an appealing personality to go with it.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I do. I would get bored if she were as sharp as a door knob.

JSmuve · Answer

I crave an emotional and physical connection. I don't really care about intellectual.

brewersfan01 · Answer

oh absolutely. thats getting a little more personal though, which is taboo to guys, so lets just about her ass and titties so people dont ask personal questions.

QuestionMan · Answer

Yes of course I do. I don't want a sex doll just for fucking that's boring.

19MK34 · Answer

I don't even know wtf an intellectual connection is, so I'm going to say no.

Intraluminal · Answer

I married my second wife largely (not soley haha) because of her brilliance.

legs_n_sheets · Answer

Of course. If I haven't fucked her brain first and vice versa, I'm sure I will never fuck her pussy.

breathofreshair · Answer

one of the reasons i dont date most girls i m attracted to

Anonymous · Answer

We need to get along and enjoy hanging around as companions. Probably I value it less than Emotional and sexual though.

Puppylove94 · Answer

Of course. That's what would cause most men to settle down

genericname85 · Answer

Generally yes but there are instances, where it doesn't matter that much.

dudeman · Answer

of course. this alone wouldn't make me want to date her though.

Anonymous · Answer

If I want an intellectual connection, I'll watch PBS. From a woma, I want sex and sandwiches, That's the only value they bring.

Do men crave an intellectual connection with a woman?

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