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Why are so many men willing to date insecure women? (Page 2)
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There aren't that many "secure" women honestly. Very few in comparison. Plus you can't always tell at first. Some are very good "actors"
So is it something you've come to accept?
@askuser To some degree maybe. Accept as in "it's just the way most women are" kind of thing. Depends on the person and how bad it is or isn't.
What do you consider to be intolerable?
there are plenty of secure women who hang out with low quality females
The attachment / attention craving issues she may have, makes a man feel loved, wanted, needed and appreciated
Easy to fuck due to preying on her insecurities
maybe they feel that the girl won't leave them if they are insecure
Sometimes it's hard to tell HOW insecure a woman is until down the road.
Sometimes we think we can help her through her insecurities. (This is usually when you haven't had to deal with it before.)
I'd just like to bump this question up to see what more guys have to say.
Haha go for it and thanks :)
I have almost 100 male responses, I think this is one of my most popular questions! :o
Im not really sure what you mean?
Jealousy isn't attractive niver is a lack of confidence when naked?
Wanting to please me is but you don't have to be insecure for that just horny!
Generally i think your a bit off the mark?
You act like we know everything about a girl before we start dating her
I don't know what the answers is thats all i can think of
Either you're into that or you dont know
There are many behaviors that we display this with. Like when you say "oh, you're so beautiful" and she says "shut up, you're blind'. So not taking a compliment. Her body language can be a giveaway. Her always walking with her head down, hunched over. So her physically tryng to hide. Comparing herself to other women, or obsessing over others.
there's just so much that screams "I LACK CONFIDENCE" that men will blatantly ignore and still go for her anyways.
Unless of course, they're just blindly going for anyone, but not all men are into that cold approach thing.
You forget you're talking about men... you ask us to grab the ketchup from the fridge and we won't beable to find it while its right on the door infront of our faces and you think we are going to notice that stuff
Yea right lol
Isn't it because they like to be the "man" by fixing things and helping a woman?
A lot of times we date the people who we find best to work out our emotional issues with - subconsciously.
Well, Because if I happen to like someone. And if that someone happens to be insecure, then it's a pity, like You are amazing, but you can't see it yourself. I find you attractive and will try to get to know you better, and make you see what I see
Low self-esteem girls you tell them they are the most beautiful girl in the world you get laid within the hour
High self-esteem girls that's doesn't even shake them you'd really have to put in the work for their affection
A low self esteem girl wouldn't believe you
A woman who acts insecure in order to get you to tell her that, & to get herself laid at the same time is playing you, dude. ;)
@Carefuloutthere so how many girls have you don't that to how many of them have you slept with?
Men are nature born problem solvers and an insecure women is like trying to figure out how to split the atom. But in actuality it's probably easier to create hydrogen bomb than to figure out why your girl friend is insecure :/
I guess some of them just don't care, they want sex, for some and me personally, if I found them attractive, they melt my heart with that, I feel the need to take care of them. Love is love, it's nothing about benefit, it's kinda of my instinct.
I mean I prefer poor nice girls than some rich arrogant sluts
That's ghetto talk. Ghetto guys love insecure women.
I wouldn't call most of these men ghetto and they seem to prefer them lol
I'm one of those insecure girls who hates herself and even I wonder why anyone would date my depressing ass xD
Girl that's me. And lots of guys actually like it.
because i think its cute, kind and romantic if i date a insecure girl and love her soo much that she forgets about her insecurity
yup I can attest to this
Because men aren't shallow.
Take a second and realise why you're single.
Refusing to date an insecure person isn't shallow.
How would you like to be in a relatioship where:
-She NEVER takes a compliment from you, even insults or calls you blind or a liar.
-She gets angry and jealous EVERY time you look at another woman, even your cousin
-She is always asking you why you like her. And then lists reason why you shouldn't
-She cannot stand you having female friends, coworkers, or contact in general
-She hates her body and is always comparing herself to others. Even asks you if you like certain features, and calls you a liar anyways when you say yes
-Refuses to get naked because she thinks you won't find her attractive, despite you begging and reassuring her that you're attracted to her, she still refuses to believe it and you have sex always in the dark, and with at least a few garments on. You never actually see her naked despite dating her for years,
-Crying and starting a fight with you every time you dont pick up the phone, accusing you of cheating.
I can go on and on but character limits
Woah, you really thought this through.
Wait a minute... that list sounds like 99% of women. Why do you hate yourself? Why are you so jealous of other women? Why can't you just be yourself?
Because men accept me and prefer me this way
Then what's the problem?
Do you not want men or something?
No. I want to love myself.
That sounds like a personal problem. It has nothing to do with men.
Yes it does. the fact that many men prefer insecurity is troubling.
'Prefer' ?
Your original question asked why men date them, not if they prefer them. Regardless
You need to stop looking for other people's approval and be yourself. If men said they liked women that jumped off cliffs to their deaths would you do I?
No. So stop pretending and use your brain. You're smarter than this.
I say prefer now based on the numerous male responses that state that insecurity=femininity.
And again, it's easier for me to not change seeing that most men like it. Until they have to actually deal with it that is.
Wrong.
How about you make a new post asking the real question you want answered.
Ask, "Guys, do you prefer women with insecurities or without?"
Then have the options:
1) With insecurity
2) Without
3) It doesn't matter
Look at the responses
Because, if you eliminated all of the females with self-security/self image issues, there would be a lot of men that would have to be gay to get a date :)
I have seen many PUA forum advocating apping LSE targets because it that gives a higher chance of a #C, KC or even FC, especially if you are just a rAFC.
But I am not really into PUA because of their mind set.
Please explain these acronyms. I only know Edgar pick up artist is, the rest, no clue
Remove Edgar lol I don't even know how that was added
they advocate especially for beginners that they should approach females with low self esteem because it is easier with them to get their phone number or a good bye kiss or sex.
I'm non expert, but if i'm reading right, its a "number close" (i. e. exchange of phone number or equivalent), kiss close, or fuck close. Close being how the interaction ended.
AFC ' "average frustrated chump" which is the pick up artist term for whiny nice guys who can't get laid.
@0112358 i already tried to translate it in my post above
@0112358 wow, this stuff is deep lol
by the way I wouldn't want them if my life depended on it
Because for the most part that's all there really is in the world
Insecure women?
Yeah, try finding a secure woman. Out of the 3 girls I've dated none of them have been.
Men seem to find insecurity more attractive
I fucking hate it. Causes me anxiety. They were all attracted to me first, by the way.
Well even though they might be insecure, they still have a heart. Being insecure doesn't make you damaged goods or a bad person. Grow up!
But it does.
How would you like to be in a relatioship where:
-She NEVER takes a compliment from you, even insults or calls you blind or a liar.
-She gets angry and jealous EVERY time you look at another woman, even your cousin
-She is always asking you why you like her. And then lists reason why you shouldn't
-She cannot stand you having female friends, coworkers, or contact in general
-She hates her body and is always comparing herself to others. Even asks you if you like certain features, and calls you a liar anyways when you say yes
-Refuses to get naked because she thinks you won't find her attractive, despite you begging and reassuring her that you're attracted to her, she still refuses to believe it and you have sex always in the dark, and with at least a few garments on. You never actually see her naked despite dating her for years,
-Crying and starting a fight with you every time you dont pick up the phone, accusing you of cheating.
I can go on and on but character limits
It depends on how a guy looks at it. Some are willing to give her a chance, some don't care at all, some are desperate, and some look at her as an "easy target."
A great set of cans.
I can use those as pillows to sleep all night
@Pandaology I love how she refuses to wear bras
What does this have to do with Christmas?
I want her for Christmas xxxx
Who told u men like insecure women? men like all women secure or insecure😅
Read the comments, most seem to prefer insecure women
Actually, I think, women often are insecure, guys have no choice😁
We're insecure because that's what most men like
I don't like bc that wasts time😜
all women are insecure about weight breast size ass size career choice
did i get fat ////
No, they're not lol
pls they are
this site is filled with questions like
does this look on me
do i look good
do guys like this
I'm going to tag you in another response
Insecure beats the bossy demanding bitch who thinks she knows everything but is really clueless
But those are one and the same lol I'm insecure and bossy and demanding.
Confident women aren't all that extreme.
I understand @BuchitaBuchys
Easy, because insecure women put out more.
Lmao I'm not easy though
@BuchitaBuchys you're too outgoing for me to believe any insecurities stop you. ;)
I'm not outgoing at all haha
Show me a woman who isn't insecure... I'll show you a liar lol.
Nope. I've seen many confident women, even on this site. @RJGraveyTrain seems like one @redeyemindtricks @xHoneyxBeex has definitely grown to be more confident.
They're probably not the epitome of confidence, but they definitely don't come across as insecure
@NajemEddine ^^^
Damn right girl.
*snap snap* @BuchitaBuchys
But see... confident people just don't care about topics like this... they're so confident that they don't need to even talk about whether they are confident or not. You don't tell people how confident you are, it's self evident.
I don't think confidence dictates what you care about. Being inquisitive as a person can make you care about topics that you don't even fully agree with.
But then again, that could just be me.
I didn't metion myself. Im not confdient and I know what its like to date me, thats why im saying why do men go for women who are insecure.
But I also disagree with the age old concept of "if you say you're confident, you're not", given that logic any scholar who has said he is smart is an idiot.
Sure I don't run to the top of any mountains to proclaim how confident I am, but if the situation comes up where it comes into question I have no issue saying: Yes, I am a confident person. It doesn't automatically mean my words have no meaning simply because I don't silently hold back what I personally believe - which is ironically the opposite of real confidence.
@RJGraveyTrain No, saying that you're smart can be proven true or false. Confidence is a state of mind.
Of course it is, and simply saying you're confident isn't a definitive way to prove that you are, or aren't really. It's in how you carry yourself. To go as far as to label every person who can say in an unwavering state: "I am confident" doesn't automatically mean they're insecure.
In my personal experience, it's the people who go out of their way to be over the top and try to prove that they're confident by demonstrating arrogance.
But hey, that's just my opinion. Take it for what you see it worth, either way I know how I personally feel about myself as a person and you're obviously entitled to disagree either way. I won't try to change that. Just like sharing my thoughts with folks. Lol.
@RJGraveyTrain Any "scholar" who would actually DECLARE her- or himself "smart" ... yeah, actually isn't.
That kind of person may not be "an idiot" -- that's swinging the pendulum a bit too far to the other side -- but, at the very least, she/he is DEFINITELY going to lack a certain kind of open-mindedness and willingness to be dead fucking *wrong*.
And, if you think about what makes a scholar a scholar... that willingness to be absolutely completely wrong, and to admit that you're not "smart" AT ALL about the thing you're studying, is totally Step One. The first step to really learning -- about anything at all -- is to admit that you know little or nothing. Or, at the very least, to admit that the mass of stuff you *don't* know is overwhelmingly greater than the mass of stuff you *do* know.
Lemme put it this way -- if I ran a graduate school and I were interviewing candidates, I would INSTANTLY reject anyone who called her-/himself "smart". Boom, door's over there, have a nice week.
@BuchitaBuchys Thanks for the kind words.
I grew up in the kind of environment where we found what we were good at, and we made *realistic* assessments of what we were and weren't capable of, and of who we could or couldn't be -- and we put those things to work.
By "environment" here I partly mean my neighborhood. As you know, I'm not from the best part of town. Where I grew up, an airheaded "visionary" type would get set right with a quickness... but, also, anyone with major insecurities/vulnerabilities became prey, for all sorts of bad guys.
But, I'm also talking about my home environment. As I've said on here an inordinate number of times, I had the best father anyone could ever possibly ask for. I wrote about him here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2027602-it-s-father-s-day-what-are-your-thoughts-feelings-about-your-dad
I just... I can't say enough amazing things about how that man raised me. He was the PERFECT balance of empathetic and hard-nosed. He cut through my bullshit and
*demanded* that I be the very best person I could be -- in a way that inspired me to do just that, even though I was suffering from crippling manic-depression (= bipolar 1) at the time. With any, uh, *lesser* parent (s) I definitely would have turned out worse (and, more likely than not, would have ended up on the streets chasing various thrills).
Moving abroad on my own did a lot for my self-sufficiency, too. My first international move was on 19 days' notice, to a country (Japan) where I knew absolutely no one and spoke 0 words of the language.
Under those circumstances, *everything* about life was... an adventure, to say the least. I've always had *somewhat* of a "fuck it, I'll figure it out on the fly" attitude -- most recently, with being a mother ahah -- but that attitude was cemented in earnest by all those international moves (6 countries in about 6 years).
And even my husband's support is important here, too. We run this household super efficiently -- but, most relevant
here, we TRUST each other to run the parts of the household that we run. If a conversation needs to be had about who should do/decide what... the conversation is had, and then each of us *trusts* the other's competence.
He NEVER second-guesses me, he NEVER passive-aggressively undermines my role as a parent, and he ALWAYS upholds both my authority and his own when there's a conflict with any of our kids.
He's a hell of a man, and he's definitely responsible for a fair fraction of my *own* resourcefulness and self-reliance -- and my attitude toward those things -- after all these years.
__
In any event, I *do* still have residual "insecurities" -- as does EVERYONE. I know I'm not perfect, and there are many things about myself that I see as in need of improvement (or at least improvABLE, if "need" is too strong of a word).
In other words -- The "insecurities" that I DO have, these days, are mostly CONSTRUCTIVE. They're insecurities in the sense of "I still need to make an effort on
myself... every day".
They're not the crippling, co-dependent kind of insecurities... but, you could still characterize them as insecurities. But as far as I can tell, they're the good kind.
If I ever get so full of myself that I no longer try for self-improvement... I sure as hell hope someone knocks me back down a few levels.
@redeyemindtricks There is a difference between "smart" and "intelligent".
Selfconfidence doesn't equal arrogance. It simply allows for a person to live without needing constant reassurance. For example "Am I hot?" "Are you sure I'm hot?" "What could I do to become hotter?" "Why is there so much pressure to be hot in this society?" "Why is don't I feel as hot as other people?" "Do these jeans make me look hotter?" "Can we change society so that there is less emphasis on what we define as hot, so that I won't even care about this question of whether or not I am... hot?" "I wonder how many people on GaG would agree with my assessment of what it means to be hot?"...
...
I understand that -- but the point I was trying to make (at the end of all that) was that the difference isn't as black-and-white as it seems.
If you don't have *some* MODERATE level of what is basically the same thing as "insecurities", then you won't feel compelled to grow or improve yrself anymore.
Also -- We all have our moments. No matter how self-confident the person, there WILL be moments when she/he is a complete wreck and just needs a hug, or even a little bit of shared silence.
I always wonder the same thing.
Yes girl lol
Insecure women are the worst, they make your life hell.
Not intentionally
It really depends on the insecurity and how they act about it.
2 reasons 1: he either really likes her, or 2: she'll be easier to control and more willing to forgive.
I couldnt care less if she's insecure as long as she puts out.
Pussy power?
Never underestimate the power of some good pussy to cloud a man's mind.
I have to agree here, i'd have a woman that extremely insecure than extremely independent.
In a relationship I like feeling needed. :-D
Because only want sex something causal nothing serious. As long as she's attractive doesn't really matter about the rest.
I like making a girl feel better. It's a challenge of being the most loving boyfriend.
They are easier to controll I suppose. You can make them do anything you want.
The thing is is that many girls are insecure and are good at hiding it until it's too late in the relationship.
I think they may wish to date her and make her change. Its like why do women date dickheads? They think they can change them.
No, we find out their dickheads after they get us hooked! I don't think anyone would ever go into a relationship knowing that person is gonna treat them like shit. If someone were to do that they'd wouldn't be right in the head to begin with.
@Robin35d I mean like bad boys. That sort of thing.
Because over confidence can be a turnoff or intimidating usually.
If you aren't somewhat an insecure woman then you are a feminist and NO ONE and I mean NO ONE wants to date one of them douches
How would you like to be in a relatioship where:
-She NEVER takes a compliment from you, even insults or calls you blind or a liar.
-She gets angry and jealous EVERY time you look at another woman, even your cousin
-She is always asking you why you like her. And then lists reason why you shouldn't
-She cannot stand you having female friends, coworkers, or contact in general
-She hates her body and is always comparing herself to others. Even asks you if you like certain features, and calls you a liar anyways when you say yes
-Refuses to get naked because she thinks you won't find her attractive, despite you begging and reassuring her that you're attracted to her, she still refuses to believe it and you have sex always in the dark, and with at least a few garments on. You never actually see her naked despite dating her for years,
-Crying and starting a fight with you every time you dont pick up the phone, accusing you of cheating.
I can go on and on but character limits
That's exhausting
Sometimes I need here to be the safe house
Her*
I am shy, I wouldn't need a girl to be confident. Who really is. But maybe you grow and develop a bond with that person
So then you are saying such people are unworthy of a relationship? I'm kind of confused.
Not unworthy, but not ideal either. Many men here are romanticizing insecurity in women.
@BuchitaBuchys, could u please pm me for like 5 min, i am not trying to troll you or perv on u, i can't send u a message since my xper level is 1
@rogerthat123 I'm scared now lol
ha ha chill, i was just kidding out there, just send a "hi" or something so i can message u back
@rogerthat123 so this is how I die :o
lmfao, its okay, i really want to ask sth serious XD
ha ha, u still dont trust me :-D
@rogerthat123 sorry :(
ha ha its alright now, something concerned me back then but it seems stupid as fuck now
No way. Not again. Did it once and regretted it.
because it makes them feel confident
One word: pussy.
Pussy power strikes again lol
The draw of pussy is strong! lol
they treat me better tbh.
I have to agree there, at times an insecure woman will be more attentive to the man's needs.
@Prof_Don and its not even sexual. They have a bigger heart
Sadly, men seem to happier with unhappy women :/
@BuchitaBuchys wouldn't say unhappy. maybe jilted..
Many of us are unhappy, miserable even living with our insecurities. But I guess as long as the men are happy, that's what matters.
More advatnage and attention to them
Probably to get them to do wild things in bed.
She's less likely though Because she's constantly questioning what you'd think of her
She'd nonetheless be easier to bed.
maybe they want to change them
I don't know but its annoying.
Maybe because it's easier to get them.
Like... i hate this fuckface! U feel me?
I like shy girls so I wouldn't know.
There are?
Wayyyyy too many men yes.
I thought there were many guys who hate insecure women because they hate listening to their problems
Read the comments, most men actually prefer it.
Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud. Who are always the most popular guys? always the loud ones. Why do girls go for insecure guys while thinking they're confident?
Cause they be easy
I don't know they're usually nicer
I like the challenge that comes with it
You are datable. 😛.
How would you like to be in a relatioship where:
-She NEVER takes a compliment from you, even insults or calls you blind or a liar.
-She gets angry and jealous EVERY time you look at another woman, even your cousin
-She is always asking you why you like her. And then lists reason why you shouldn't
-She cannot stand you having female friends, coworkers, or contact in general
-She hates her body and is always comparing herself to others. Even asks you if you like certain features, and calls you a liar anyways when you say yes
-Refuses to get naked because she thinks you won't find her attractive, despite you begging and reassuring her that you're attracted to her, she still refuses to believe it and you have sex always in the dark, and with at least a few garments on. You never actually see her naked despite dating her for years,
-Crying and starting a fight with you every time you dont pick up the phone, accusing you of cheating.
I can go on and on but character limits
I hate controlling people dude. 😗.