Do men deserve more credit for being faithful?

[Anonymous]

Men are biologically wired to spread their seed in the their youth, do men who fight this urge and stay loyal deserve more credit?

Women often use hormones as an excuse for a variety of their behaviour, e. g. being demanding/stroppy particularly during that time of the month. Are mens biological differences ignored?

Updates

+1 y

Having read the variety of comments, the recurring theme is it’s the least expected of a man (from the viewpoint of women) and women don’t understand how tough the urges are (from the viewpoint of men). Literally polar opposites

Women saying men don’t deserve more credit than themselves for not cheating, I get your point but try walking around with multiple times more testosterone than you have, pretty sure it will change your behaviour and urges.

Updates

+1 y

Add to that, I doubt any man would deny PMS sounds awful and we wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemy, however I believe society are more accepting and embracing of women’s hormones as a reason for certain bad behaviours, I still don’t believe men have that luxury

[nightdrot]

Actually, an interesting little divide. I am unable to post links yet, but you can look it up. Research shows that while men were more likely to cheat, women were more likely, if they did cheat, to leave the man they were with for the other man.

It is an interesting phenomenon rooted in evolutionary biology and psychology. Our male ancestors instinctively sought to impregnate as many women as possible. Our female ancestors, because they could only normally only bear and sustain one child at a time, typically would mate with the male that was most capable of warding off rival males, protect their offspring, and provide food.

(As an aside - and this is still true - once a male impregnates a female, his body detects changes in her hormones and pheromones and responds with a drop in testosterone. This makes him more protective as a male who was hopped up on testosterone would tend to wander off to seek other females and would even be a danger to his offspring. (This is also why we tend to see higher levels of child abuse where a stepparent or other unrelated male is present.)

Anyhow, flash forward to today. A man will tend to cheat but generally will not leave his spouse or s/o. A woman is less likely to cheat, but if she does, she is far more likely to divorce or otherwise leave her previous s/o. In a nutshell, the same basic primal urges are at work in a contemporary context.

Of course, humans are unlike all other creatures on the planet insofar as they alone are capable of rising above their natures. (Raise a baby wolf to be the best wolf it can be, it will still be a wolf. Raise a baby to be the best human it can be and it may discover a cure for cancer, go to the moon or write poetry.) So really, as a moral proposition, none of this is excusable.

That said, what we find out is that - at the end of the day - neither men nor women have very many bragging rights here. Each is basically misbehaving according to their primal natures. Understandable - if unimpressive.

[AynonOMouse]

No. Everyone should be faithful, and nobody should treat their partner like crap regardless of hormones or other BS excuses.
If someone is mistreated like that, they should leave their SO.
Anyone that uses hormones, whether it is a BS desire to spread your seed, or a BS pregnancy excuse is just a terrible person trying to have an excuse to be messed up to their SO.

[lumos]

Except that you can avoid getting into monogamous relationships if you're just gonna cheat. Girl's can't exactly avoid cramps, bleeding and pms. Although I do think some girls use it as an excuse, it is not as dramatized as some guys think. I literally had to call my mom in tears today because i couldn't get out of bed thanks to menstrual cramps and feeling like I'd been stabbed in the uterus. I had no food in the fridge, so she had to pick me up a couple of things. I've been having cramps and a migraine since early this morning, and only now (roughly 6 hours and lots of painkillers later) am I starting to feel normal. This shit is not fun. I WISH I was making this up.
So yeah, no, unlike men we can't really control how shitty we feel when we're on our period. Y'all can avoid relationships if you can't stay faithful, though.

[Mi2mi2a]

- you know it's in human's nature to kill. I don't see any credit given to peoplewho don't kill.
- it's in in human's naturee to lie especially women, no credit given to people who don't lie.
- it's in human's nature to be barbarous, no one is given credit to being civil.

and so on and so on.

Additionaly to that this was all crap made of evolutionary theory that is not scientific one bit, and is an attempt to explain evolution that is lacking in many aspects.

If you want to cheat go cheat, nobody forces you to stay in a relationship. Just know you will assume responsibility over your actions.

[1derfulguy]

It isn't exactly human nature to kill one another. We are a deeply social species, which is why murder usually carries such a severe social penalty.

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy well we are deeply social beings in not wanting to cheat, or you want to be a social being when it suits you?

[1derfulguy]

I am not pro cheating. I am pro recognizing that staying true till death do you part is no mean feat - especially when your whole body is screaming for you to do otherwise. I don't know what it's like for women, I imagine it can be challenging too, because you will get lots of offers.

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy If you are speaking about hormones, testosterone is a hormone linked to sex drive for males. Progesterone and estrogen is the hormones linked to sex drive of females. I don't know how it will be harder for males when males and females are both driven physically for sex.

[1derfulguy]

Sure, women have sex drives, but it's not like you have a raging urge to have sex with a large proportion of the men you encounter on a daily basis. Men are like 10 x more DTF than women.

[1derfulguy]

*100 x

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy who says that? you? you know what women want or don't want? just because women aren't as desperate doesn't mean they are less in their sexual urges.

[1derfulguy]

If that is the case, why do women put men through so much misery just for the chance of sleeping with them?

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy Oh! so men are entitled to have sex. smh. Maybe becauce women value themselves and don't go opening their legs for anyone, maybe some men should do too, instead of acting like horny dogs that wag their tale everytime they hear a woman is available.

[1derfulguy]

You're contradicting yourself. First you claim women and men have the same sex drive, and now you say men are horndogs and women are picky when it comes to sex.

[1derfulguy]

But it's okay. You're totally ignorant about life as a man. We can't afford to be "selective". You know annoying salespeople who call you up at a really bad time to sell you something you don't want? You know Jehova's Witnesses? Those are men. The person answering the phone/door? That's women.

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy having the same sex drive doesn't mean that they would hand it over just like that. Maybe just maybe they are not animals and have brains to control those urges, and maybe again we are social being who don't go humping every human being. LOL

[1derfulguy]

You keep demonstrating that you don't get it. Men don't have anything to hand over. We are the beggars. You don't get that. You would have to live as a man to understand it, I suppose.

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy oh so you acknowledge that men are beggars. LOL
I don't who you are trying to prove right, me or you? you said it women are the ones whohand something over so they choose to hand to, and men are beggars. LOL

[Mi2mi2a]

and for you dear anonymous asker, PMSing do you mean that women are given credit to acting civil when they want to kill you, or given credit when they go through menstruantal pain, or given credit when they go through child birth.

[1derfulguy]

Of course I'm saying that, because it is true. Do you make fun of beggars too? Like, they should just pack away their paper cup and stop being so desperate, right?

[Asker]

100% society accepts women's hormones as the reason for certain behaviour

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy should I care what a guy feels when he wants sex, he wants sex with me, I don't doesn't matter to me. He is not entitled to anything.

[1derfulguy]

I never said he was. But why you would shame and ridicule him for it, I don't know...

[Mi2mi2a]

are they given credit for going through child birth? answer this question, a woman gives birth, basically nobody cares the amount of pain she has to go throough.

are we given credit when women around the globe sit through work or school, while their stomach kills them, without other menstruatal pain.

And when a woman is PMSing and she acts bitchy, she has no right to do so. You let her walk over you, real women will at least tell you to leave them alone

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy did I say I'm shaming anybody? he wants sex, as I sais doesn't matter, a No will suffice.

[1derfulguy]

It's just that whole contempt for men as human beings I find odd. If I reject a woman, I feel bad about it. It's not like I tell her to be less desperate and control her urges or something.

[Asker]

Are women given credit for childbirth? LOLOL is that for real? That's what differentiates men and women in the divorce courts and why women usually get custody and a huge chunk of the mans wealth to boot

[Mi2mi2a]

nah, honey it's not that, its who gets paid more. Moreover a woman with no whildren and less income will still get a chunk of the man's money.

Custody? are you serious? a woman is more loving than a man USUALLY. It's in a woman's nature to be more vocal of her feelings and care about emotions, and a child is in dire need of that affection.

[Asker]

Totally agree, women are more caring when it comes to children and are often hold more of the maternal instinct. That's neither here nor there however. Trouble is having read back the comments, you refuse to give men any justification for anything while suggesting basically any female traits/behaviours are justifiable. Its hard to back someone when they cannot even see the level of hypocrisy they preach.

[1derfulguy]

Lol my father showed me 10 x the empathy my mother ever did.

[Mi2mi2a]

OH! I wasn't directing that answer to you, sorry.

If a woman tells you to put up with her bitching because she is PMSing, then that is hypocrisy. I go through PMS but I just keep quiet and tell people to leave me alone.

If you don't believe that ask a question to GAG girls if it is okay for a girl to act like a bitch towards anybody when she is PMSing.

[Asker]

Well we certainly agree on that.

I may ask that question some time, I just need to make sure I select anonymous again or else a deluge of hate will be coming my way for this question!

[Mi2mi2a]

@1derfulguy that's why I put usually in capital letters LOL. I was expecting that answer.

[1derfulguy]

Fair enough

[Mi2mi2a]

well people may hate you or not, doesn't matter. it's internet anyway not real life. but at the end that's your decision.

[Zelea]

Ok so by your logic, we should forgive all rapist because hormones and biology told them to spread their seed. And we shouldn't fault them for being who they naturally are.

Being moody/hormonal doesn't break an agreed upon contract to be monogamous. No I'm sorry you don't get extra credit for something you're supposed to do.

I mean you don't see women using being hormonal as an excuse to cheat. Many women get very horny around their period and stay faithful at the same time , are they going to get more credit too?

[samhradh_leannan]

No, I don’t think people deserve more credit for doing the right thing just because of their biology. Nobody is forcing you to be monogamous- if you don’t want to be faithful, don’t commit to an exclusive relationship. Your biology doesn’t make you a hero for honoring your promises.

[samhradh_leannan]

Bottom line, we all have human bodies that come with instincts and challenges and hormones and biology. Yes that can be tough at times, and sure you can appreciate that if you want to. But nobody is ENTITLED to appreciation for being a decent, honest person just because they have a human body.

[samhradh_leannan]

R. e. Update: I still think it’s really strange to compare the urge to cheat to PMS in general. Do you really think cheating on someone- hurting them deeply, breaking a major commitment, and derailing their entire life- is the same thing as making a snippy comment here and there or crying for no reason? Cheating and blaming your hormones would be more akin to me punching you in the face and then blaming PMS. And NO woman deserves credit for simply controlling herself enough to not punch someone in the face. That is, once again, the most basic of expectations.

[samhradh_leannan]

Also, I think another factor- for me and maybe others- is that the notion that it is torture for my partner to remain faithful to me is really upsetting in itself.

[Allie_Oops]

Um, no? Biological or not, you aren't a wild animal. You know not to cheat and if you choose to do so then you suck. Period. That's like saying a parents deserve an applause for taking care of their children. Like, what? No. You don't get praise for doing something you're SUPPOSED to be doing.

[D1VADAME]

You don't get a medal for NOT going to jail. Likewise, if you're not supposed to cheat, not doing it doesn't make you a hero.

'But women use the excuse of hormones to be bitchy!' okay, some women do. But is getting her that pint of ice cream on the same level as shattering her trust and making her feel insecure and unwanted for a long time bc you couldn't keep it in your pants?

[hellionthesagereborn]

No women use the excuse of hormones when they treat their boyfriends like shit, some times even hit them. Not saying some one needs to be rewarded for not cheating but his point is if its not reasonable for men to use the excuse of "hormones" then why would it be reasonable for women to use that excuse.

[D1VADAME]

@hellionthesagereborn If she treats her boyfriend or husband like shit when she doesn't have documented hormone issues or is on her period, then she's just an abusive ass. There are abusive guys who claim 'being guys' means they're just inclined to be violent, girls aren't impartial to that. Goes both ways.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I at no point suggested men can't be shitty, I have no idea why you felt the need to mention that. What was stated was that women use the excuse of "hormones" and suddenly both men and women seem perfectly fine with her acting shitty so long as she says "hormones". That is only one way, men don't get to have hormones as an excuse and that's the problem, not that women can be shitty but rather that when they are they seem to get a free pass by society.

[D1VADAME]

@hellionthesagereborn The POINT was to make clear that women can't use a bullshit excuse 'hormones' to be an asshole all the time IN RELATION TO men saying they can be abusive bc they're 'just being guys' but that just kinda flew right over your head huh

[hellionthesagereborn]

So your argument was that no men can't use their hormones as an argument to explain them being abusive, despite the fact that abuse was never brought up once, and this some how extends to women even though you never actually addressed the point which was that women use this as an excuse to be any where between emotionally abusive to out right physical violence? I think this topic went over some ones head, don't think its mine.

[D1VADAME]

@hellionthesagereborn I don't really know how'd you would reply with a brain if you had one, but I'll try to dumb it down a little further: physical and mental abuse both fall in the abuse category.

You asked if men can bend to their emotional urges to cheat as an excuse since women use hormones as an excuse to be emotionally and physically abusive. There seems to be a mention to abuse here, so if you're still with me, let's go on.

Your point was, in your own words 'that women use this as an excuse to be any where between emotionally abusive to out right physical violence' which does, in fact- stay with me here- fall into the abuse category.

If you're going to bitch and moan about something, try a little bit to think it through- If you haven't got that down at 33, I'd suggest going to some kind of group therapy to vent.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Whats it like being stupid? As I stated the original question did not contain abuse which is what you where referring to. So again, I pointed out that you, instead of answering the initial question, decided to claim that if she is on her period the man gets her ice cream, and that's not as bad as cheating, is not in fact answering the question and clearly you misunderstood it. I'm sorry that your not smart enough to figure that out and so much of a bitch that you think that if you act like a bigger bitch your going to come off as smart, your not you just come off as a cunt. I was merely clarifying his statement because clearly you where not smart enough to get it the first time. So I apologize for wasting my time trying to speak to some one who is clearly mentally deficient and a bitch.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Speaking of which, let me guess, your on your period right?

[D1VADAME]

@hellionthesagereborn Yikes man. You're the whole crazy package. I don't really have the energy to bounce back and forth on this since you're not really equipped to get it. I don't think you ever will, so take some consolation in your own hand- I doubt any sane girl is going to want to get near such a delusional shitsod.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I'm sorry is the hormonal cunt trying to talk about me, the one who did not insult you until you started acting like a crazy hormonal cunt, that I am crazy? Maybe you want to go to the doctor for that, you know the raging hormones which your inevitably going to use as an excuse for being a complete and total bitch? Seriously, look at my responses then look at yours and how you have behaved, you flipped out and decided to act like a bitch when I just pointed out that you seemed to be missing his point (what with talking about getting a girl ice cream, seriously how fucking stupid are you?). I was just trying to help you out (its not your fault your hormonal).

[D1VADAME]

@hellionthesagereborn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[hellionthesagereborn]

I know right, you decided to get verbally abusive instead of admitting you misunderstood (I think your still misunderstanding) and moving on.

[Anonymous]

Women are biologically wired to spread our legs and get pregnant. Should we get credit for fighting our urge and just stay loyal?
Men use "I'm a man" as an excuse for e. g. being sex crazed/ assholes particularly because they were born with a penis.
(sarcasm)
*SIGH*
Another women hater here asking a question just to piss people off. Lets pit men and women against each other. Because all men are the same, just as all women are.

[Ashley234]

Ironically, I agree with you

[Asker]

Women are biologically wired to procreate with one partner because they can only carry one persons child at a time. In terms of men using a penis as a reason for being sex crazed, try having one.

WIth one hand you are saying my question is women hating but in literally the sentence above you make a broad sexist statement against men.

[Asker]

I've read a million comments in answer to my original question but had to comment to this just simply because you are trying to argue against hypocrisy and then have almost defined it in a single sentence. Worst argument ever

[Opinion Owner]

I also stated it as sarcasm... women can get pregnant by multipule men, hon. We only need one man at a time. doesn't mean we can't get pregant by someone else later. I think this is an excuse for men who actually find it difficult to stay failthful. Not all men have this issue. I know plenty. Im not talking about romantic interests either.
The studies you speak of, I've read before. I've also read studies that disagree. Both theories aren't fact. They base it off animal instinct. We are more in-depth creatures as you should be aware. We have a brain. A brain like no other species on the planet to compare it accurately to. It controls our whole body. Especially our actions. Your penis, just as a womans vagina does not have a brain of its own. Hormones dont affect men and women so much that we don't have free will. No one deserves credit for being a good person that doesn't want to hurt who they love.

[Asker]

Nothing I disagree with in your comment at all and as I've also said in response to another comment many hours ago now I know it is impossible to prove the urges of men are biologically hardwired.

However, testosterone is a very powerful hormone which men have by many times more than women, this is not speculation this is fact and this hormone explains many of the reasons why men don't act like women. The urge I can guarantee you is there, I don't advocate cheating but the question merely was is there a hypocrisy when women can blame hormones on men cannot

[Opinion Owner]

It terms of a woman having pms/mood swings try having a period for 4- 7 days once a month. If you knew anything of factual proven biology you would know that its not an excuse. Some wome. Dont have pms and some have extreme cases of it. It can even cause depressive episodes. I could say the same shit but flipped back to you.

[Asker]

And then you've done it again! So I agree with a statement and then again you say its fine for women and not okay for men and "try having a womb"! Yet in the comments before you said we use "try having a penis" as an excuse

[Opinion Owner]

Ooh i took part of your comment differently than you meant. Men can use their testosterone as reasons for some of their actions and they do. Lol Women use their estrogen as an excuse as you know. But you're question is what i dont get. You ask it as if its so hard for a man to stay faithful because of a theory off some studies, when proven studies show women are very sex crazed themselves. It spikes often durring prenancy as well. I dont get why you think anyone desirves to get credit when theyre in a relationship of their choosing.

[Asker]

Men are more likely to cheat, that's a fact. There must be a reason for this and therefore there must be an urge there for very short term fleeting satisfaction that many men cannot resist. These people are labelled as cheaters and in many cases I've seen from women I know considered basically as low as criminals. For the ones who fight these urges and show the strong will power, the response it is that is what is expected of you.

I guess the question then is do men deserve more credit for staying faithful than women do? Difficult to prove but I do believe the urge is stronger for men

[somewheresomeway]

Women are also biologically wired to seek out a strong protector and provider. That's why keep seeking out "alpha" males to mate with and compete with other women to get to them. That's why they have higher standards for men to not show their emotions (subconsciously it's a huge weakness to them), take romantic initiative, make MONEY and spend it on them, etc. Despite all the "equal rights" crap going on women still expect men to take the lead and be tough

[Hidden_P]

I disagree women are wired to spread their legs to get pregnant.
Women are wired to chose the best mate. Men are wired to spread their seed. So the argument of being faithful is dismissible under your argument.

[somewheresomeway]

@Hidden_P ^^^^ yep.

[somewheresomeway]

But I do wish women had better judgement on what the "best" mate is. Just because a guy is funny and a smartass (and failing in many other areas of life) doesn't make him a "best mate". Just because he's an asshole with a false sense of confidence doesn't mean he's a good protector and provider. He will be more likely to leave you for someone else once he quickly gets voted. That chivalrous "nice guy" you reject would be likely lay down his life to protect you and the baby. Women have horrible perception on that.

[somewheresomeway]

*quickly gets bored

[1derfulguy]

No you are not. You are biologically wired to be selective about who you spread your legs for - because choosing the wrong guy could lead to a) mortal danger, b) genetically inferior offspring, c) an absent father, or d) a shitty partner.

[PinkMichae]

A woman who has mood swings influence by hormones is not comparable to a man who cheats influenced by hormones. Mood swings happen fast without us knowing it until it's over. Cheating takes time and thought. It's controllable. Now I can See that hormones probably influence guys to look at other women which to me isn't a big deal. But there's no excuses for cheating.

[MrOracle]

"Cheating takes time and thought. It's controllable."

I can tell you from experience that this is NOT always the case. I've never cheated, but I definitely have "fallen into" opportunities to cheat that I wasn't looking for, didn't expect, and could have literally been cheating within a couple of minutes if I hadn't mightily resisted the temptation.

I'm not saying that there aren't men who plan and scheme to cheat, because obviously that exists (for women too). But that's certainly not how it always goes.

[Germanium]

There are multiple things wrong with your statement.
1) You're saying that men have full control of themselves when fully horny even in easy environment
2) only women have mood swings
3) you are saying it's okay for a woman to cheat because of how they feel at the moment whereas for men it's not

Of course I don't think you're stupid, because you'll reply with "of course it's not okay for women to cheat". But what does still bother me is that you say men are these impregnable beings who operate at full 100% all the time. And that's not true. Just like a woman, when a man is ready for the deed, certain functions in his brain shuts off, such as his logical-thinking and other parts of the brain, like emotional senses, are enhanced.

[Germanium]

*emotions and sense

[samhradh_leannan]

Whether it’s cheating or mood swings or whatever- people are responsible for controlling themselves and they are responsible for their behavior. Period.

[samhradh_leannan]

That said it’s very different to blame biology/hormones for you MOOD or DESIRES than it is to blame them for your ACTIONS, BEHAVIOR, or CHOICES.

[MrOracle]

@samhradh_leannan True, but that's not really what we're talking about. What we're talking about is having some *appreciation* for the difficulty many men have in fighting the temptation and winning, but definitely at some cost in mental/emotional struggle. It's a real thing, and it's NOT easy. Our instincts to be attracted to multiple women are incredibly strong, but when an attractive woman comes on to us, it's SUPER difficult to decline. Most of us still do decline, but I'm not sure women really understand how hard it can be to do that sometimes.

[samhradh_leannan]

@MrOracle We all have instincts and we all have biological/hormonal stuff going on. It doesn’t make you a hero for honoring your commitments. Don’t want to be faithful to one partner? Fine. Easy solution: Don’t enter be in a monogamous relationship in the first place. I have no sympathy for people who think that they should get credit for being a decent person just because they have a human body.

[Germanium]

@samhradh_leannan
You said exactly what I was thinking "I have no sympathy for people who think that they should get credit for being a decent person just because they have a human body. "

It's stupid to get rewarded for something you should be doing naturally or know.
"I for once ate less sugar than usual!" You kinda should be only eating so much sugar and sitting a day.
Of course, you kinda do have to realize for some people it's actually an achievement if they're genuine, and so should they be encouraged, but of course if they're smart they'd realize they don't need encouragement for something the know they should be doing as a normal human being with a normal body.

[MrOracle]

@samhradh_leannan No one is asking for hero treatment. It's not all about extremes. LOL. But, just as some women really struggle with their own issues (PMS, baby fever, etc.), men often struggle with this, and it wouldn't be terrible if women *occasionally* acknowledged that or appreciated it. No statues or ticker-tape parades necessary, but just *some* acknowledgement would be nice.

[Asker]

@MrOracle spot on, couldn't have said it better myself. Don't advocate cheating but for women to say "its the least I expect for a man to be faithful" suggests no praise for turning down temptation is necessary.

[samhradh_leannan]

Sure, it’s okay to appreciate someone for doing the right thing if you want to. But to say that the deserve it or are entitled to it? That’s different. Should men EXPECT appreciation for not cheating? Should women EXPECT appreciation for not having 1,000 babies or being a total bitch because of her hormones? I really don’t see it that way.

[MrOracle]

You keep going to the extreme. No one is demanding anything. We're saying it would be nice. That's all.

[samhradh_leannan]

@MrOracle No, we’re talking about what is deserved. That’s the wording that has been used in the question.

[PinkMichae]

I never said it's easy for men to turn a woman away. I just said it's not comparable to mood swings that happens in seconds. With cheating even in the moment there is time to come to your senses unlike a man just looking at an attractive woman in front of his woman. He doesn't have time to stop that like he does when he has a woman obviously wanting him. You can't tell me he's not thinking it's wrong or can I get away with this. Us women to feel the same thing when it happens to us. I've been in that situation and it was frustrating especially after months of not being desired by my man and here's a man that desires me and wants to make me feel good. But my love for my man was in the back of my head the whole time. As horny as I was I walked away. And I don't get brownie points for that. Hell I'm ashamed it even crossed my mind.

[PinkMichae]

When we have mood swings it's still wrong and still apologize for them. And don't think that we don't deal with men's mood swings too. To say that it's caused by hormones with us is just an explanation of why we did something out of the norm. You make a decision with cheating even in the moment. Something women say is not comparable to a man's physical response. Can it be hard to say no and walk away? Sure. Do you get brownie points for doing the right thing? no

[samhradh_leannan]

What we really have to think about here is the line between doing something a little weird, crazy, or annoying, and doing something that is really truly hurtful and could even derail someone’s entire life. If you enter into a monogamous relationship and you agree to be faithful, then loyalty is at that point a basic expectation. To step outside that agreement is a big deal. You will be really deeply hurting someone, and breaking a very serious promise. Is that comparable to randomly bursting into tears due to PMS? No. Is it comparable to breaking someone’s jaw and then blaming my hormones? Maybe.

[PinkMichae]

Thank you @samhradh_leannan. You have made a great argument.😎

[Germanium]

@PinnkMichae
I understand how it is, and especially how easy it is when there's someone out there in your grasp who wants you now while you're still in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you feel such. I personally never had relationship experience but I've had similar feelings and can compare. As sad as it is, I feel like saying it's a good thing you walked away from that (because lots of people are weak and would take the easy way out). Not really arguing with you here, I'm just agreeing.
I don't understand the part with petty cheating such as staring at another woman from afar. What does that have to do with this argument? Of course it's plain and simple just idiocy and easy to control. However, something relevant that I've read somewhere: "Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you automatically stop finding other people attractive. However, what is in your control is acting on that attraction."
How has the relationship gone?

[PinkMichae]

My relationship turned around. He finally started listening and understanding how his actions were affecting me. And he finally opened up that it wasn't me it was his job at the time and the stress he was under. He got a new job that's not as stressful for him and we work our love life around his anxiety. It's still not how I felt I wanted a man to be toward me but he is so loving to me in other ways and I realize no one will ever be perfect. Thanks for asking.😎

[BrittBratt2416]

That's a bs lie, it's got noting to do with biology and has everything to do with lust and not being able to control ones self. People just say this as an excuse for dudes to go around jumping in bed with multiply women cause they have commitment problems or just want to continue hooking up so they can get sexual needs fulfilled without being with the person. And no you don't deserve more credit for doing something that you should do when you're in relationship with someone. Everyone is suppose to be faithful to their partner, if you don't want to be then there's no point in getting into relationship.

[1derfulguy]

Maybe you should read up on evolutionary biology...

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy Maybe you should read up on not believing bullshit to excuse shitty behavior.

[1derfulguy]

I don't know if it excuses the behaviour - which, might I add, women are guilty of too. But it is a fact that settling down is primarily in the woman's interest. Which is why you don't tend to hear men obsessing about when she is gonna pop the question. Or what dress to wear for their wedding. Or how financially stable she is. Or all these creepy women messaging them on dating apps. Wake up. There are HUGE evolutionary differences between the lives of men and women.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy there's biological differcenes physically between men and women... you don't say.. call the press. This is going to be big!

[BrittBratt2416]

and mentally.

[1derfulguy]

You admit it exists, yet expect men to behave as if we were driven by the same needs as women. That is unreasonable.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy No, I admit that there's a difference between men and women.. obviously. But I'm not admitting that it's okay for men to just randomly run around banging multiply women. Are you really saying men can't behave? is that what you're admitting?

[1derfulguy]

What I'm saying is that when women (and a society eager to curry favour with them) tell men to behave, that is not coming from some place of objective truth about ethical human behaviour. It comes from a place of self-interest, from women's specific needs and desires, namely for the partners they choose to stick around. Which makes great evolutionary sense for women. But less sense for men. I'm not saying it makes no sense, it's just not what has worked best to propagate our genes. The men leaving the biggest genetic legacy will have had multiple offspring with multiple women. It's a balance between "spreading their seed" and being present enough in their children's life that those children survive and have offspring of their own some day.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy Do you know what would happen if all men went around spreading their seed with multiple women? It wouldn't help society, in fact it would crash it cause chances are that offspring would end up procreating with one of it's multiple siblings. There would be a high birth defects, and genetic problems cause the dna is to similar. Inbreeding would be a massive problem in the world and would actually hurt humanity more than ever if men were to go around spreading their seed everywere. Men are meant to spread their seed with one woman, if that woman or child was to die then the man could go and find a new wife to start his legacy.

[BrittBratt2416]

You're really saying men are barbaric sex crazed, unfaithful beings who only think with their pensies. You do realize that right?

[BrittBratt2416]

This is what would happen and what humanity would start looking like if men went around the world procreating everwhere... This is what you're asking for.
www.ranker.com/.../laura-allan

[BrittBratt2416]

with tons of women i should say.

[1derfulguy]

That will never happen, because women are very selective about who they mate with. It is estimated - based on DNA - that 80% of women who ever lived passed on their genes - that is true for only 40% of men who ever lived. So what you have is a minority of men having offspring with a majority of women. A sizeable portion of the world's population are descendants of just one man: Gengis Khan.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy um and the ones that do get accepted by the woman? It would still happen...

[BrittBratt2416]

So in otherwords evolution is flawed and made men to be to be total fuckboys

[1derfulguy]

I don't know. I haven't seen this modeled, and am pretty ignorant when it comes to the subject. Anyway, I am not prescribing a course of action for men, merely stating what has been true evolutionarily: promiscuous men (up to a point) tend to leave more copies of their genes. But of course it's complicated. Things like the risk of violence from a disgruntled husband could make this strategy suddenly fatal. And of course guys are selective too. Just in other ways. And probably still less so. Heck, you only have to look at online dating to realise that. How many female profiles have I read full of threats from some woman who is fed up with idiots messaging her? Most guys will be happy ANYONE is visiting their profile lol.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy Yeah and the men that are leaving copy of themselves are usually the ones who aren't taking care of those multiple copies.

[1derfulguy]

Evolution isn't "flawed". It just is. You wouldn't say gravity was flawed because you couldn't dunk. But to an extent, yeah, we are total fuckboys. But it varies a lot. Some guys are more conscientious. Some guys are more promiscuous.

[1derfulguy]

Sometimes. But they have already been selected for some reason by those women. Good genes. High status. Whatever. So they aren't completely useless. The real rejects never even get that far. I mean, for guys, getting laid, that is basically a home run. For women, making him stick around is the equivalent.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy I don't believe in evolution, I believe in God. But I was just trying to make you see how being promiscuous doesn't benifet society. Being promiscuous doesn't benifet society and it hasn't been benefiting it at all, but your're trying to normalize it because of your belief in evolution. Promicuous behavior is the cause of std, unplanned pregancies, kids growing up without a father figure, broken hearts, and lack of trust and real love between the sexes. You might agree with that, but I don't.. I think its kinda funny cause women say this, you guys tend to get up in arms over it and try to prove us wrong that you're not that way. But here you are making your own sex look bad, you're helping at all man.

[BrittBratt2416]

*not

[1derfulguy]

I'm actually not arguing for male promiscuity. And men are generally happier in long-term committed relationships. I just don't like it when women complain that men don't behave like women. We are different. We didn't choose how we were born. You can believe whatever you want. I believe in evolution because it convincingly explains the world around me and is backed up with abundant scientific proof.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy No one's complaining about men not behaving like women. How is behaving like a decent human being behaving like a woman? Please explain that? I know the biological difference between a man and woman, just cause I don't agree with men sleeping around everywhere is normal.. doesn't mean I don't know the difference. Trust me, I do. I took biology in school, I knew the difference when I was little.

[1derfulguy]

I am not saying that men should cheat. I am saying that yes, I think they deserve credit for not doing it, considering their biology.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy No, they don't. It has nothing to do with bology. Do you think people deserve a trophy for going to work on time? Or turning in their home work when it's due? Do you think someone should earn a promotion just cause their nice to a customer even though they fall behind most of the time? No, you don't deserve a trophy for common sense... common sense says " I'm in a relationship, I agreed to be in a relationship with just this person. Therefore, I'm not going to betray them and cheat".

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy That's so sad, see guys you can't give women crap anymore when you have a member of your own sex saying you can't behave well because you have a dick.

[1derfulguy]

As I said before, that entire relationship is mainly a function of your needs as a woman - not mine as a man. Why should I court you, spend my time and money on you, buy a ring for you, propose to you, throw a marriage celebration for you, stay with you - all of which are mainly in your interest? All I get in return is sex. With the same woman, year after year. At least you could marvel that a man would do all that for you.

[BrittBratt2416]

@1derfulguy so you only see women as an object to put your dick in and that all the other that other stuff is just pointless to you? Then here's a hint buddy, don't get married and just use your hand. Problem solved.

[1derfulguy]

Let me see if I can describe your idea of sex in an equally dismissive and degrading way... "Sex is the culmination of a prolongued spiritual and intellectual connection with a guy that just GETS me bla bla bla".

The fact that as a man I value sex in a different way than you do, it doesn't mean you get to equate it to jerking off or to "objectifying" women or any of those tired old feminist tropes.

[1derfulguy]

And yes, OF COURSE weddings are pointless to me. I'm a guy. That is why you don't see movies for men about how excited they are about their upcoming wedding. That is why they don't fantasize about what suit they'll wear from the time they hit puberty. That is why you don't throw a bouquet for the groom's buddies to try to catch.

All that nest-building? That's all you.

[Hidden_P]

I think if you are going to argue a biological viewpoint you can’t argue a human viewpoint.

You are either biologically compelled and uncontrollable or you are aware of your human conscious and can be controlled to an extent. You can’t have both.

[Hidden_P]

Also, I should say, pregnancy and giving birth is a whole new ball game. The hormones rushing through isn’t like any other usual “cycle”. I was basing my answer on a man and a woman in similar situations.

[1derfulguy]

It's not either or. Of course men can control themselves. Most women seem utterly oblivious of the extent to which we do that 99% of the time. I have heard people who transitioned from female to male describe the "aha" moment they experienced when they started testosterone treatment. Suddenly they "got it".

[Astoriana]

Make this MHO!

[Asker]

@Astoriana Doesn't really address the question though, I'm not saying can cheating be advocated

[Astoriana]

It does though. You are trying to argue that men are essentially animals. Animals have no concept of infidelity. So, either you can be a thinking, conscious, rational person or you can be an animal that is slave to your urges. You don’t get to be both.

[Asker]

@Astoriana Yeah so based on your argument, do men deserve credit for taking the rational/conscious approach in resisting these urges. Tbh though my question was aimed more at if a hypocrisy exists as opposed to suggesting men should get a pat on the back for not cheating, that got lost in translation slightly

[Astoriana]

Well, given that premenstrual dysmorphic disorder is a real thing and fairly common, y’all can’t say that it’s used as a double standard. It is a diagnosable mental illness, and many women aren’t even aware that they have it.

I have personally never seen women use their hormones as an excuse for anything, except maybe needing to open the window for hot flashes.

So, no. Men don’t deserve extra credit. Unless you want to give me extra credit for not setting you on fire for being dumb.

[Asker]

@Astoriana You seriously have never heard hormones be used as an excuse? The only explanation I can have for that is you only have a sample of one, yourself. You haven't dated women and if you see many of the comments on here, that has definitely struck a cord so I can't be the only one.

So if as you say men should show compassion for the disorder (which I agree with), can men also be shown compassion for having a severe sex addiction? That too is a mental condition

[Astoriana]

Sex addiction isn’t a real thing, in my opinion. The drive to copulate is normal. I think that “sex addicts” just have no impulse control, which I find very difficult to feel empathy for.

[Asker]

@Astoriana Seems very selective, if you don't live in a sex addicts mind how can you possibly judge?

[Astoriana]

Addiction is a mental illness. One cannot be addicted to a natural drive. I don’t think food addiction is real either. Just a matter of poor impulse control and bad genes. If you’re a compulsive cheater, y’all need a therapist. There’s definitely some deeper issue at work, and it’s not “I’m addicted to sex. I just can’t get enough.”

[Asker]

@Astoriana Poor impulses surely literally is the definition of addiction? So you've said sex cannot be an addiction and then the reasons you've listed are literally the definition of addiction itself

[Asker]

I'm not saying I disagree and I'm not saying sex addiction exists, however, it again comes back to the hypocrisy with you saying that PMS is a real mental issue for which people need support whereas sex addiction isn't and therefore women shouldn't stand by men who have this condition

[Astoriana]

Eating is not an addiction. Without food, you die. Sex is not an addiction. There is a natural drive to copulate. In my opinion, “sex addicts” were merely poorly parented, and given everything that they ever wanted immediately. They don’t know how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, like loneliness or rejection. Given that sex addiction has been used as a defense for rape and forced imprisonment, I don’t think highly of it.

Narcotics are actually addictive. They’re not needed for anything by the body. Alcohol is addictive. It’s actually a poison, and obviously unnecessary. The brain craves these things, and then there can be no impulse control. Isn’t crystal meth one of those drugs that you take once and then you’re hooked on it for life? Yeah, impulse control isn’t going to help you there.

[Asker]

@Astoriana so you believe in no circumstances is using hormones an excuse for behaviour by either men or women?

[Astoriana]

Barring a diagnosable condition, no.

[Asker]

@Astoriana In that case we agree

[Astoriana]

That is literally the bare minimum of being in a committed relationship. Y’all kick up a fuss over participation trophies for little league soccer, but you want to be praised for not being a cheater? Girl, please.

[Handsome_cowboy]

Pretty much what i was thinking. It should just be expected. Its not like its anything special. JUST STAY FAITHFUL GUYS.

[loveslongnails]

Your point is well taken, darlin'. No, you don't get a medal for not cheating if that's what you signed up for. Historically speaking though, monogamy on the male side of marriage has not been something to write home about. The numbers throughout history are not in its favor. In the west, it's blamed on the lack of religious beliefs, while in the east, many religions permit polygamy and even encourage it. What's the answer (hmmm.. what's the question?" Now, were I marry a girl as beautiful as the one in your photo (you, I presume), that would keep me coming back for 100 years! :)

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails bare fucking minimum. You don’t deserve to be given credit for that. Keep it in your pants, vaquero.

[Handsome_cowboy]

@astoriana Seriously. Im a guy and i agree. Guys It ain't that hard. You have the equipment but you dont have the balls to resist the urge. Grow a pair and be a faithful man. Oh yeah i said it. Its more man to be faithful and monogamous than to screw up every pretty girl. Chew on that for a minute.

[Astoriana]

@Handsome_cowboy if y’all deserve extra credit for not cheating, then I should get extra credit for not setting people on fire when they annoy me. You know? It’s only fair.

[loveslongnails]

We're already in agreement about that, chica. Yes, bare fucking minimum, you've shown you know how to curse with the best of us. :) I was talking about human behavior, like since the beginning of recorded time. People, men in particular, women to a much lesser extent, don't have a great track record of fidelity. That's all I'm saying, and the answer isn't simply 50% of men are pigs. No, the other 50% don't deserve a medal for being faithful, it's the bare fucking minimum for a committed relationship. Oh wait, unless of course, you agree otherwise to begin with? Nah, don't even go there. LOL

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails your statistics seem to be overly inflated

[loveslongnails]

Go look for yourself. This will give you a start. I'm not making this up... as they say, it is what it is. And remember, "knowledge is power", and I hope your eventual man can deliver what you hope he can. Have a good night.
www.truthaboutdeception.com/.../...infidelity.html

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails that “source” looks to be anything but reliable. And no. That’s not how that works. You bring in stats, you’re responsible for backing them up.

[loveslongnails]

Here's something from NPR - National Public Radio www.npr.org/.../sorting-through-the-numbers-on-infidelity
Here's a divorce demographic that footnotes the actual studies, albeit from Wikipedia, the sources are all there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography It focuses on divorce to marriage ratio. In the USA, the ratio is 46%. That means there are 460 divorces for every 1,000 marriages, ranking the USA in the top 20 worldwide. infidelity may not be the only cause for divorce. According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analysts) professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are "basic incompatibility" (43%), "infidelity" (28%), and "money issues" (22%). So believe what you want. My own small sampling of divorced acquaintances bear those numbers out, with a slightly higher response rate of "he cheated on me" from women.

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails academic studies only please

[loveslongnails]

I'm not doing all your homework for you. Some of the studies cited are from the United Nations, some from the CDC, some from individual government statistics. That's pretty "academic". Or you could research the Kinsey Institute's report (that would be the Indiana University... academic enough?) and the work of Masters and Johnson. Look, you're going to fight to keep your bubble and dream alive and in place, and that's fine, but the numbers do not lie. There's about a 1 in 4 to 1 in 6 chance, (giving you the benefit of statistical error) that a guy in this country is going to cheat on his spouse, at some point. That gives you about a 17.5% to 25% chance that it won't be your guy. ALL I'm saying is this is something a woman should be aware of while she chases her dream guy. Guys should be aware of it too. Marriage isn't for everyone.

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails apparently, marriage isn’t for men... because they don’t believe in impulse control.

And no, you’re not doing my homework for me - you’re adequately supporting your bullshit point. Which, you have only half-assedly supported. With Wikipedia and a radio station. 🙄

[loveslongnails]

You're just obstinate on this subject because you don't "like" the numbers, and there's no REASON to dislike numbers because they are... what they are ! It doesn't change your views or opinions on what you want in your relationship for a bare minimum, does it? NO. It just tells you what the divorce rates are, what the surveys show about cheating. But oh, you don't like it so you call the research bullshit and the results bullshit. Maybe some of it is, but there are 24 footnotes from studies on Wikipedia alone, and there are credible organizations in there. You haven't even considered a single one of them, and that's just one article on the subject. It's kinda like global warming - you can deny it all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that the ice cap is melting at an alarming rate, ocean temps are rising, and reefs are estimated at about 60% healthy worldwide (and yes, I can inundate you with studies about those too, but it wouldn't matter to you either).

[loveslongnails]

So yes, I'd say marriage IS NOT for 1 in 4 to 6 men because "they don't believe in impulse control" as you say. And that's the point. When you find one of those who you "think" can, move him to the top of the list and hope you were right.

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails are you done freaking out or can you be a reasonable adult yet?

[loveslongnails]

I'm not freaking out. Don't know what you think I'm being "unreasonable" about when I actually agree with your statement that if you're GOING to commit, and you both want monogamy, then no one should cheat, and no one should get an award for NOT cheating. So I agree with you. ALL I did was show you some stats, which you say are bullshit, all of them. So, who's being unreasonable and not an adult?

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails the one throwing a temper tantrum and writing at least four paragraphs about the numbers they literally pulled out of their ass are actually real

[loveslongnails]

"pulled out of my ass" ... LOL You still haven't looked at them, nor will you, because as I said... you, the "reasonable adult" just don't like the numbers or the sources, however credible they are. Even when I agree with you, you're disagreeable.

[Astoriana]

@loveslongnails you haven’t given me a study. You’ve give me a Wikipedia article, an article from NPR, and an MRA blog post about divorce, then told me to google it myself. None of those are credible sources. I, a researcher, would like to see actual research to support those statistics, and as it is you who made the claim, it is on you to support it. Scientific journals do not work by someone saying “string theory is the only real theory of everything because I said so lol” and then everyone else has to prove them wrong. No, you make a claim, and then support it with credible, factual evidence. I don’t trust secondary sources. Bring me the primary sources, and then I will look at them.

[loveslongnails]

The primary sources are footnoted in the article. There are 25 of them. If you're interested, look at them. If not, believe as you choose to believe, that's fine. I'm not on a quest to convince you, or anyone, of what I know to be reliable data on this subject. Enjoy. I'm done on this subject. See you on the next one :)

[VegetaSSB]

No, because it would be the along the minimal expected from a relationship, about what you and people here say about evolution, evolution is a lie, it´s a theory in crisis, intelligent design is science and is being proved day by day due to genetic engeneering and other human activities, so, everything that uses evolution as a claim are already a fake, if you want to study about intelligent design i will paste here some good links where you can inform yourself better.
http://www.intelligentdesign.org/
https://www.discovery.org/id/peer-review/
http://www.discovery.org/a/23451

[MissLogical]

No, they are old enough to be able to control themselves just like women do. If someone cheats they're trash, regardless of gender. Stop trying to make excuses for cheating.

[hellionthesagereborn]

But that's his point. If we do not give men credit for not giving in to their hormones why do women get a free pass when it comes to their behavior when they have pms? Women get mean and emotionally abusive if not out right physically abusive then blame it on hormones like that's some how acceptable. I believe that is his point, NOT to suggest its okay to cheat but rather the double standard where women get away with being terrible people because of "hormones" but men have to just own what ever they do. Not all women are abusive obviously but some women do use that as an excuse from time to time and for some reason when its a woman saying it becomes acceptable.

[Asker]

@hellionthesagereborn spot on

[MissLogical]

@hellionthesagereborn I never said women should get a pass for pmsing. They shouldn't for the most part. If you take 30 seconds and calm yourself down, it's not a problem, some women do use it as an excuse to be a bitch towards others and get whatever they want. It might be more difficult for young women who haven't had a period for very long, but for the most part after that, it's not that hard to take a minute and calm down to be a rational human being. Women are able to control their pmsing, but sometimes just don't. There shouldn't be excuses for being a terrible person, whether it be for pmsing or cheating.

[hellionthesagereborn]

And that was the point he was trying to get at, he was pointing out the absurdity of that argument by putting it into context of men (as we are less inclined to tolerate this kind of behavior with men then we are for women). So yes I agree entirely with what you said.

[rskinney]

Men don't get extra credit for doing something that they should be doing by default. Do men deserve extra credit for being a good father? Do men deserve extra credit for not committing crimes? It's called being a decent human being.

[beebella]

Why should anyone get credit for doing something that they're supposed to do?

[Krumpir]

Amen! Give her MHO!

[Asker]

@Krumpir hell no, most pointless argument ever

[Krumpir]

You are an idiot if you NEED an argument... Reveal yourself so I can block your stupid account.

[Asker]

@Krumpir you’re an embarrassment to men, seriously pipe down you pathetic brown noser

[Asker]

@Krumpir almost certainly can’t get laid with any women so your only hope is to side with them at every possibility in the hope of scoring points. Ultimately you have no respect from either men or women

[Krumpir]

And you are an embarrasment for humanity. At least I am embarrasment ti only half of it... Trolley troller...

[lilmissumshine]

Preach bella. like being faithful is a lifetime a achievement. his ass should be doing that anyway

[lilmissumshine]

@Krumpir get a life dude. it's nobody's fault but your own that no woman wants you. you have an inferiority complex and mental issues

[lilmissumshine]

@bella I got u boo. @krump don't be coming for my girl like that punk

[Asker]

@lilmissumshine she literally said what I said in the original question, society expects men to be faithful, what does that comment possibly add to anything?

[Asker]

@lilmissumshine you mean do address that to me?

[lilmissumshine]

@Krumpir not you accidentally tagged you

[lilmissumshine]

@asker sure do

[Asker]

@lilmissumshine think you are mistaking a debate for “coming for your girl”. I never said anything personal, you said I have mental health issues. Don’t think you understand the concept of debating

[lilmissumshine]

You weren't debating anything you started insulting @Krumpir

[lilmissumshine]

@krump didn't mean to tagbu

[Asker]

@lilmissumshine read his first message to me, I’m an idiot and I should reveal myself so he can block my stupid account. The guy is a moron who is clearly trying to hit on a someone who he doesn’t even know what she looks like

[Krumpir]

@lilmissumshine it is okay. This question is one of the reasons why I hate this stupid "anonymous" BS... Idiots like asker can get away woth crap like that... It makes ma angry.

[lilmissumshine]

@Krumpir I know the anonymous option needs to go bc people are simply abusing it

[Asker]

@Krumpir lololol cuddles with the girls now yeah Krampir? Lol, if any woman ever fell for those tactics then I’ve certainly never seen it

[Krumpir]

Women don't for idiots either... Soooooo get lost turd

[Asker]

@Krumpir my sole aim in life isn’t to hit on women, clearly that is your only aim and based on your desperate tactics here I’m sure it isn’t going too great. Read my comments elsewhere here, I’m not trying to pick a fight with anyone but you are just so slimy I had to comment

[MrMysteryMan]

I think we should reward each other by not taking for granted we are committed to one another. That's the "reward", showing how we love one another and love having each other in our lives. Showing each other that appreciation in any form is necessary to keep the love alive and commitment in the relationship, that is the reward!

[LemonMeringue]

No. It's just a decent trait that a normal person should have. A "biological urge to spread your seed" was important when cavemen were a thing and the death rates were high while fertility rates were low. Earth is overpopulated, the human IQ has raised, and most humans can control inappropriate "biological urges".

You should resist the urge to "spread your seed" for the same reason why you should resist the urge to piss or take a shit anywhere that you are when you feel like you have to go.

[Anonymous]

No, if a grown man can't care enough about the man/woman he is in a serious romantic relationship with enough to stay loyal then he should end the relationship. If he is happy in that relationship he should never have an " You better be thankful that I am happy enough with our relationship to not cheat on you." attitude.

[Vesuvius87]

No one deserves more credits for doing the most basic thing a relationship requires; being faithful.

That should be a given already. by the way, it doesn't make sense you're comparing morals and self-control (not cheating) to a woman's natural cycle.

[Asker]

So there are no morals involved in subjecting a partner to mood changes/strops and saying its related to hormones? Again to clarify I'm not saying this applies to all women, however, it seems the argument of biology cannot justify anything a man does but women use the excuse all the time

[Vesuvius87]

I don't get moody with my boyfriend during my cycle. I'm the same.

Cheating is a character flaw, complete betrayal and a total lack of integrity towards the relationship as well as respect for your partner. It's the cowardly way of trying to end things and pretending everything is ok if you want to break up.

Mood swings doesn't consist of betraying someone to the fullest and undergoing that emotional pain. If you're with a moody woman you can't stand then it should have been addressed and worked out; either that or break up. There is nothing to work out when you get cheated on.

[Asker]

This question in no way relates to anything in my life, I am neither cheating or with a girl who has severe mood swings, its all hypothetical only.

However, I have been around enough women to know this is an argument that is used a lot and dare I say it, you may not see that because you haven't dated a number of women! Your argument is based on just one person, yourself.

[Vesuvius87]

No one in my post did I said you were cheating nor that your girlfriend is moody. The you has meant in general.
You're right. I don't know all the other women in the world. I'm not into women. Your comparison between cheating and being in a bad mood is still way off though.

[samhradh_leannan]

Even if you are a little irritable or sensitive during your period or whatever. Not the same thing as really hurting someone.

[KnightCross]

he deserves the same credit that a woman deserves for being faithful.

woman has sexual urges too, woman has sexual temptations of other men too. and sometimes there are some women who has a higher sex drive than some men. Original sin affected both men and women recognize it

[ShaHills]

People shouldn't be rewarded for not cheating on their significant other. It goes the same with being a good person. I always shake my head when I watch or read a story about some one doing something nice for some one else and every one praises them for the good deed. People shouldn't be rewarded for treating others the way they want to be treated. This is stuff that should have been taught by parents.

[Anonymous]

No, men should not be given more respect for being faithful—that should be the norm!!! It shouldn’t be something we have to celebrate. That’s like saying if a guy helps around the house you should thank him with something special. It’s stupid—there is a difference between being a bit snappish once a month and cheating and blaming it on hormones.

[Asker]

Well of course there is a difference, one suits you the other one doesn't!

[Opinion Owner]

The problem isn’t that—one is a minor attitude problem once a month and one is flat out cheating. If a girl cheated and said it was hormones the guy would dump her on her backside. But you expect us to buy that “he can’t control it?” Sorry, I don’t believe it for a second. Control your sex drive like the rest of the world does or get out of a serious relationship and stay out.

[Opinion Owner]

Being “temperamental” is different than being unfaithful. If you believe this junk then you don’t deserve to have a steady relationship.

[Asker]

I'm not justifying cheating but was asking if anyone viewed this as hypocrisy. Sometimes seems men cannot justify anything on their biology but women can

[azzntittiz]

I have never urged any man to stay faithful, I never cared and I think men don't know what they want. A lot of men will get concerned if you happen to let them do why they want, buy call you insecure when you care.
I ask for respect, never faithfulness.

[Jmcmanning]

I think they do. I think with guys known to be visual and they will check out an attractive girls is why a lot of females think they have the potential to cheat. I don't think that's the case at all, when he's with a girl he's with her but he's still going to admire an attractive lady. Just like we notice an attractive guy, but we usually don't make it as obvious).

[Pinay_ako]

There is no award for being faithful. Or excuse for cheating. it's either you cheat or be faithful no matter what the circumstances are.

[love_conquers_lust]

Deserve? Don't know. I will say in my experience girls who cheat without just cause are cast off harshly as social pariahs within tight communities. Like an automatic demotion in the social ladder. Perhaps that's why some enjoy shotgun dating public strangers. Grants the opportunity to hide/sugar coat your past giving the illusion of a clean slate, but loses the social support system and your dates can exploit same accountability standards as you.

[RedRobin]

Men are biologically wired to cheat? O. o
I wouldn't be surprised if this was a troll

[RedRobin]

It makes men look really bad

[1derfulguy]

It does if you subscribe to the blank slate "gender differences are solely a product of nurture" fiction. If you have studied just a little bit of evolutionary biology and/or psychology... not so much.

[ladsin]

No, it's common decency to not renege on a contract. Entering into a monogamous relationship is a contract of sorts. If you want to cheat just get out of the relationship. No problems with that.

[SirenDep]

We all have urges. We 're not animals though. We also have brain, and we can restrain them. We do happen to slip sometimes, but having pms or extra testosterone doesn't make it alright.

[Anonymous]

Yes and no

Yes because it’s very rare than a guy stays faithful to his girl in today’s world/society

No because girls usually put in more effort and all the effort they can to stay faithful when we so easily could just be completely unfaithful

[StickStickity13]

Yeah... Nope. Women cheat just as much if not more than men.

[ReverseIt]

yup women cheat more its obvious
they actually think they are better then men lol
good luck with that

[Handsome_cowboy]

I dont even agree with your yes honestly. Dont make a big deal and praise someone for something theyre sposed to be doing anyway

[OatsnWhey]

i've never cheated and i've has plenty opportunity

[hellionthesagereborn]

Absolutely incorrect. According to statistics men and women cheat at the same rates (some studies suggest women are more likely to cheat). Meanwhile the whole women being faithful is not accurate as again, not only do they cheat at the same rates, but in a survey 33% of women stated that they had a back up guy, some one who they where not physical with but who was their plan B if the primary relationship had issues meaning they already where thinking about abandoning the relationship, which means they where not giving it their all.

[1derfulguy]

Three women have cheated on their boyfriends with me. And I am no casanova. And they seemed almost entirely devoid of guilt about the whole thing.

[Asker]

@1derfulguy if you ever watch those trashy shows where people talk about their life issues (Jerry Springer, Jeremy Kyle etc) the reaction to if the man is found to be cheating is basically he should be executed with the crowd booing and jeering.

Watch when a woman is found to be lying and cheating, initially there is a gasp and some boos but then the woman starts crying and eventually the host always wants to know why she cheated (emotional abuse, lack of attention, partner always working etc) and it almost always results in sympathy towards the woman!! It’s unreal, the men are literally between a rock and a hard place, doomed either way

[1derfulguy]

Who are you gonna blame? Men choose who to mate with. Have done since time immemorial. We made women this way. We chose to fuck the girl with the big tits over the one with the heart of gold.

[1derfulguy]

And the very fact that we are so eager to fuck women is why they have our balls in a vice grip. Look at gay men. Have you ever seen them suck up to women? Not unless there was a calculated purpose.

[Asker]

@1derfulguy I didn’t blame anyone, it’s an observation, women who cheat tend to get more sympathy because the underlying belief amongst men and women is what has this big bad man done to you to make you stray. I believe that comes back to society not believing women are hard wired to cheat and do so for a reason

[1derfulguy]

Well... on the other hand, if a guy cheats, the woman he cheats with will usually get a lot of flak. I don't know.

[CT_CD]

Men deserve more credit for being faithful and more sympathy if they cheat.

[Asker]

Lol finally a man shows up, been fighting this battle alone

[CT_CD]

You're welcome

[Reach500]

sympathy?

[CT_CD]

@Reach500 yeah

[Reach500]

Dude, victims get sympathy, not betrayers

[Handsome_cowboy]

No we dont deserve any more credit for staying true. It should just be the way you're sposed to be. Just like women dont deserve any more credit for staying virgin till marriage. Its just the way its sposed to be. I've stayed pure in all my 20 years. And been faithful to all the girls I've had. I have a girlfriend who lives a long way away right now and i haven't had any problem staying true to her even though i can't be with her.

[indaylight]

Uh no. Being faithful to your partner is part of being a decent human being.

[purplesparkle]

Well sorry that's just not how it works. Not anymore. Men who think like this don't deserve a faithful woman.

[kaylaS91]

Sure you can get more credit for being faithful on the condition that you don't miss paying out any of your multiple child support cheques.

[Unit1]

I loved this sarcasm 😆😂👍
Don't mind the angry blues :>

[kaylaS91]

@Unit1 lol @all the bitter suspected basement dwellers who find it too daunting to do anything more than give a cowardly dv. despite being perfectly safe behind their computer screens.

[Unit1]

Said basement dwellers wouldn't dwell in their basement if they would have just stayed faithful. I guess you have hit them right in their weakest feel and they can't see it as a joke any more since they are now either paying for child support already or they really don't have any sense of humor outside of their basements.

[jennifer_bloom]

They don't deserve more credit - they are supposed to be faithful

[Asker]

And women are supposed to be temperamental?

[jennifer_bloom]

Woman are not supposed to be temperamental

[Harry8814]

I think we need to restore traditional society that mandates faithfulness. There should be social sanctions for lack of fidelity. Also, people should be strongly encouraged to marry and start a family. It is a recipe that has served us and other successful civilizations for millennia.

[Anonymous]

No. Men and women really aren't that different. Making either gender sound like a slave to "horomones" is degrading.

[1derfulguy]

We are, though. Read up on evolutionary biology.

[Opinion Owner]

Sexual dimorphism and "biology" play a part in small scale differences. Humans are all pretty similar in large scale things like this.

[1derfulguy]

Lol mating is COMPLETELY different for men and women.

[Opinion Owner]

Mating? You're talking just about mating?
Well, yeah. That is totally different. Lol

[1derfulguy]

Yes, because that is what this discussion is about?

[Opinion Owner]

@1derfulguy It's about being faithful.

[1derfulguy]

Yes... which is within the scope of mating. Mating is not just having sex. It is everything that surrounds it too, including relationships, social status, all sorts of stuff.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion that's bullshit. We do are influenced by hormones and suck, but it's not uncontrollable, a woman/man can control their action perfectly with or without biological influence.

[Asker]

Sure but then is it not okay for women to blame hormones for severe mood changes? Are these not controllable? I understand I can't tar all women with the same brush but in my experience that reason is used A LOT

[Opinion Owner]

This comparation doesn't make sense, you're comparing a change of mood with cheating.

[Asker]

Maybe cheating was a strong example to use, for example if you caught a man perving? Could his biology be a valid excuse?

[Opinion Owner]

No haha

[Asker]

And are hormones a valid reason for mood changes/stroppy behaviour?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes wtf

[Opinion Owner]

An excuse for you guys would be a boner for almost no reason. Which is something super biological

[Asker]

So one should be controlled the other it is justified not to be controlled

[Asker]

That's such a bad example, that is literally a biological action with no possibility of controlling it. Moods or at least the behaviour during those moods is controllable

[Opinion Owner]

The behaviour when you have a boner it's pretty much controllable

[Opinion Owner]

You guys tend to be more angry and aggressive this also is justiciable by biology

[Opinion Owner]

But it doesn't justify you walking around hiting and yelling at people

[Asker]

I seriously don't understand this comparison but anyway! Getting a boner has no impact on your partner and is a completely private matter, having a bad attitude does affect your partner. Your second point maybe I get, men do possibly get away with showing more aggression because of higher testosterone levels, ill give you that one

[Opinion Owner]

In the boner example I meant, some man (maybe I'm completely wrong idk) say that sometimes you don't even have to be horny to get a boner, so sometimes in public it's not even your fault, I don't know how to explain

[OatsnWhey]

no dude lol. you just don't cheat. that's an expectation in a relationship

[gobsmacked3]

Being in a relationship is a choice an individual makes. Agreeing to all the rules within it.

One doesn't need 'credit' for fulfilling this

[gymratt100]

No more credit than loyal women.

[LegateLanius]

No one should get credit for doing something they should be doing. If you want a commitment, be committed, if not leave them.

[Bananaman177]

Yeah, man. Every 20 years of monogamy, you should get a $25 gift card to Chili's. I feel this strongly. I'm gonna put it in my pre-nup.

[iamshan]

Being faithful to your partner is rewarding in itself. the sense of trust and peace one feels is more precious than anything.

[Cupid_Can_Answer]

i belive that you should give them credit for not cheating but they should already know not to cheat on you so let them know you've noticed so they dont feel unappreciated then cheat.

[Guanfei]

Credit for not being a despicable piece of shit? I don't think so.

[BigBadBear]

No. Hormones are not an excuse for behavior, man or woman.

[Anonymous]

In this day and age, I would. I'm not gonna put him up on a pedestal but I'm not gonna belittle his faithfulness.

[red_knight]

We do. In a world where were outnumbered 7:1 we love 1 but find out were not good enough and replaced by the next best thing who has only 1 quality you may not posses... mostly it's money/power..

[jacquesvol]

No, men don't have a reason to get more credit: women receive more propositions than men.

[WhoDatGuy]

That's a good question and bound to trigger some ladies.

[msbjohnston]

Lmao! #triggered

[WhoDatGuy]

Haha I'm triggered by the triggering. We might be stuck in a endless cycle here!

[msbjohnston]

Oh the endless female comments! And what's funnier is most guys are like... nope not touching that one!

[Omar5881]

Fuck no deserve a credit for being faithful? DaFauq is that you should be faithful or else you shouldn't get into a relationship

[monkeynutts]

No, I have been a bad boy, I did it because I did not care about anyone else but myself. Plus I liked it.

[Juxtapose]

Speaking as a horny guy, it's not difficult to stay faithful lol. Just don't date prudes.

[Anonymous]

"Women often use hormones as an excuse for a variety of their behaviour..."

This ^^ is soooo true.

[Anonymous]

lol now theyre calm. remember the high body count and past questions... how angry and rude they get..

you can see the double standard in their opinions this is amazing...

[Nivinxus]

Why? It's expected of both men and women

[JinnRose]

Yes. In the Western world, there exists a double standard against men in nearly every area of life.

[JinnRose]

Why did you down vote me? Do you have a rebuttal?

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Oh for God's sake man JUST STICK TO YR WEMAN!!

[RussianRebel]

No. Loyalty is a moral duty for both genders.

[cheyenne801]

No way its just as easy for girls and guys.

[Bettyraeisback]

i dont give a bullox! you'll do fookin nothin

[Bananaman177]

Who da fook is dis girl? Who da fook is dat? Who da fook is dat?

I don't know who da fook dat is!

[Bettyraeisback]

@Bananaman177 When a woman fights me they need to take ten months to a year off. You can't bounce back into a fight. And that's no joke. You can't take head trauma and then jump back into the gym and spar

[Bananaman177]

Yeah, but at least they got their red panty night. At least you changed their bum life.

[Bettyraeisback]

@Bananaman177 for fooks sake lad, yes that is true

[Bananaman177]

Dey don't move like you move, dey can't tink like you tink.

[Bettyraeisback]

@Bananaman177 i'm like fookin Goku searching for the universe's greatest warriors, and after each battle i grow stronger and learn more.

[Bananaman177]

Kakarot is a fookin' circus clown.

[Bettyraeisback]

@Bananaman177 i change bums lives. when they fight me, they ring their partner and go baby we did it! red panty night!

[karahiri]

Nope.

[The_Upside]

Both parties need take responsibility