Do guys really not care about personality?

[Anonymous]

I've heard many guys say on here that the girls personality doesn't matter if she's good looking.And I asked a Q if guys like girls who are dumb or play dumb and they all basically said "yes" and that smart girls are the boring/unattractive ones.

So is personality not that important?

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+1 y

So,what should girls who aren't gorgeous or sexy do?I guess we're doomed forever?

Updates

+1 y

Wow,guys really don't care about personality.Never realized looks were the only important factor in a relationship for a guy:( Thanks for answering though!I should probably save up for plastic surgery at this point.Thanks!

[TheMajesticSea]

There are a lot of men who don't like smart girls. There are a lot of men who do. Find one that does.

I do think for a large portion of the male population looks can override personality. Or it could be that certain guys are not attracted to any kind of complexity in personality. Simple girls may turn them on (like the guy below who admits that dumbing it down is a turn on). I can't deny this because I have seen a lot of attractive girls who are not the brightest bulbs when it comes to academics with boyfriends. I think for a lot of guys intelligence or intelligent conversation is not on the list of things important for a girlfriend, especially if the guy isn't intelligent in certain things himself. Even some intelligent men may like girls who aren't as well read or learned as they are in whatever area or topic. I've seen this happen time and time again.

I have friends who are intelligent in different areas but have dumbed it down and they see dramatic differences in how many guys are interested in them. It's not the best thing and its kind of sad but its the truth.

Still, there are many guys out there who do value personality and brains although I'm not sure they are in the majority and I would bet money that men who see these qualities as infinitely MORE important than looks are definitely in the minority.

I saw my ex boyfriend once in Urban Outfitters with my best friend and I chatted for a bit with him. He had his new girlfriend on his arm and I know her from high school. She is like the diametrical opposite of everything that I am, everything that I stand for, etc. We are both good looking but she still has a completely opposite look. She is kind of a dainty looking blondie. She's cute but she gives off a lot of blank stares. She's not the smartest girl in the world. I had a class with her in sophomore year of h.s. I think and she said the most ridiculous things. She asked me once if President Kennedy was still alive. I gave a report on welfare and poverty in America once and she said it was informative because she didn't know we had poor people, unemployment, or poverty in America. She had to check with my friend to make sure she knew what gravity was. Just in general a kind of stupid girl. She didn't have a bad personality though. She was sweet, probably in part because she's so simple. I am a very intelligent girl, always debating about things, etc. So our relationship when we dated was really passionate and intense but also lots of arguing. I'm always questioning things and talking about issues. maybe its refreshing for him to date a girl who just is simple, quiet, and calm. Someone who doesn't challenge him. Idk. I wouldn't be surprised though. Intelligence doesn't necessarily mean you have a perfect personality for everyone to love though. I love my personality but I am kind of difficult to deal with at times.

I wouldn't worry if I were you, don't dwell on this. just be open and I'm sure you will find someone.

[peace-love-couture]

Guys do not care about personality.Guys go for looks,not personality.Looks can overshadow a bad personality(for a guy).And girls who play dumb are the ones who guys always go for and ignore the smart ones.

So,no,personality is not important to guys.If you're attractive you can lack all of the personality or just be plain mean,bitchy or rude,they'll still go out with you or even marry you.

This question can be found if one were to use the search engine.Duh.

[Cyhhgg]

You're fucking insane. Lol

[DaCrownlessKing]

Lol no. We’ll sleep with a pretty chick with a bad attitude without much resistance but most of us leave when a woman is overbearing.. pretty or not.

[peace-love-couture]

Duh.Look around you,if guys cared about personality Maxim would have been dedicated to personality.Even other guys said it,as long as you're hot,personality doesn't matter.Duh

[ravvo99]

Ignore evangelina on this one. I can say first hand I've dated people with so-so looks and great personalities for long periods of time, and I'm generally considered an incredibly superficial/vain guy who does vocally admit that looks are damn important.

Guys are so simple, but I think you're even oversimplifiying us. I'll make this as simple as possible. Looks matter. Personality matters. Confidence matters (which is really a subset of personality, but its a CRUCIAL subset of personality).

people keep trying to assume that only one matters. that's not the case. They both matter. and I'll up the ante. They are both *vital*. If you lack either of them. If you are seriously deficient in either looks or personality YOU WILL NOT BE DATED. This is a broad assumption, but anyone who says attractive girls are being dated despite having no personality is being a bitch. That person who said that is being a bitch, because clearly she is judging someone unfairly and being whiny and p*ssy about it. Grow up. Clearly the woman has a personality because the only thing every guy agrees on, from warm hearted good guys to cold calculating assholes like myself, is that you need both a personality and an attractive body to be dateable. A lack of either one REALLY limits the amount of time people will stand being near you. no matter how interesting you are, if we can't stand looking at you, you're done for. No matter how hot you are, if you are boring we want to stab ourselves in the stomach just to have something interesting happen. Sure someone who si attractive but has no personality could get a date or two. I';ve dated such women for a date or two. Then I wanted to committ suicide from boredom so I cut them off.

Here is my argument that maybe, just maybe, if you have to pick just one, personality trumps physicality.

Most guys are aware they aren't attractive enough to get every girl out there. They realize they are a 7 or a 5 or a 3. They then go and rationalize that they need to find someone in the same attractiveness vicinity to them. If they are low-numbered they won't care that much if the girl is not as attractive, as long as they are on par with the guy's level. It is extremely rare to ever see a guy compromise on personality, even if he is the most boring guy on earth. We demand great personalities from our women. So in this case, personality is MUCH more make or break than looks since a guy can rationalize lowered expectations on looks, but never on personality.

still... both of these are equally vital and if you do not meet the expecred standard of a guy in EITHER category you are simply unliekly to get a first, let alone second, date.

[peace-love-couture]

So ignore me,but you're correct.Why would you of all be correct but no other person in this whole damn universe isn't?

[ravvo99]

Because you're defending a baseless stereotype and presenting it as the only acceptable fact without any suggestion of generalization being used. Most importantly, I am a guy, while you are not. This means that if nothing else, my opinion is more valid in this guy-centric question than yours.

Add in that I talk abotu this enough with my guy friends (mostly in the context of why one of us breaks up with a boring hot chick or dates a mediocre fun chick). The numbers of actual guys back my idea.

[peace-love-couture]

So I would have to be a guy to say "Guys like sex" ?

No I wouldn't.I'm not basing anything off of stereotype.Other guys are stating it.Although let me guess,your answer is the only correct answer right?Theirs are invalid

[ravvo99]

No. The question is about how guys think. I can get sex from attractive girls as easily as unattractive as boring as interesting. Guys enjoying sex is irrelevant here. You're taking guys and simplifying them down to a disgustingly incorrect stereotype that just plain doesn't hold true. I'm saying that myself and my friends (a large group of sexually active 20-somethings with graduate and post graduate degrees) pretty much all agree on this point and have discussed it plenty over our lives.

[ravvo99]

By the nature of the question, I can't tell any guy he is wrong, because they are stating their opinions. Clearly they know how they feel. I am simply weighing in for myself and about 13 of 15 other guys I know and have had this conversation in depth with at some point in my recent history.

on the other hand, you are not a guy. Your opinion on this matter is simply conjecture, no matter how "correct" you think you are. And I can tell you that you are wrong because you *are not a guy*.

[ravvo99]

Plus your answer really only lines up with one person here's response. You can prob return fire and say that x people disagreed. So I'll pre-empt with my response. everyone is different and entitled to be so, but you yourself always rant and rave that the majority of the populous here are virginal guys who give answers totally irrelevant to reality because the populace here is not representative of a selection of real life guys. I think my experience I bring is representative of most men post-HS

[peace-love-couture]

So you can speak for all guys,but they can't.I'm stating as they are stating.And it is the same,I can say guys enjoy sex without having to be a guy.And no one is judging guys for not giving a damn about personality,no one said it was disgusting,that was you who said it

[peace-love-couture]

And if they are stating their opinions,yours is only an opinion too,therefore isn't any more valid than my statement

[ravvo99]

You are once again not addressing what you said. This has NOTHING to do with having sex. you keep going back to that because it seems more germain than what you actually said. You can't derail the actual topic here by continuing to make believe anyone had referenced that stuff until you, here in this response thread below my comment. You can't invent a new idea here and try to use it against me as if I can't scroll down read the comments and see you pulled it out of your ass for convenience.

[ravvo99]

Again, the argument I'm making is simply that I am representing my own thoughts and the thoughts of 12 or 13 other guys I've had indepth conversation on this with and they all agree. My friends are all 20-somethings who can look back at what they do in the past honestly. We'd all admit if we were like that as teenagers. But we weren't. none of us were. We all heard this stereotype, thought it was true, but none of us felt that way at all or lived up to it. We simply realize that it was primarily

[peace-love-couture]

And you continue to act as though my claim is invalid because I am a girl and as though yours is the only possible answer.I'm bringing up sex as an example,you're asshurt because you know that I don't have to be a guy to state something.Had I said "Guys go for personality" you know DAMN WELL you wouldn't have said "Ignore Evangelina"

[ravvo99]

A very small minority of guys who took vanity to new levels and a large majority of girl who seem to not understand that someone can be attractive and have personality at once. Instead they just declare that anyonee more attractive than them must be an airhead too (This is a generalization, but it happened enough for that to be a pretty good stereotype too)

and as I said. I can't tell any guy they are worng. They are stating their opinion. I never said I was infallable either. That is the very

[ravvo99]

Thing about your comment that bothered me. That you presented this as a clear fact. as if someone said "what color is a ripe orange". Its epsecially bothersome to me that you answreed in such a factual "no other way around it" manner when you are not a guy, so you have nothing objective to base it on (subjective observations have value, but its much less).

I'm representing for a number of guys who are saying that this guys only care for looks nonsense is... nonsense not deserving perpetuation.

[peace-love-couture]

You keep bringing up "You're not a guy" but you keep speaking from previous experiences acting as though that makes your statement any more valid,as if I'm pulling sh*t outta my ass and I'm not.Whatever dude,you think you're right,you're just the voice of EVERY SINGLE MAN ALIVE,couldn't care less.

[ravvo99]

Every time you say something I aghree with I make a point to give you a shout out for the good response. Its just in this case you were responding in a factual manner to something you cannot have an objective thought on. By the nature of this question being "what do guys think about this" a women's opinion, while perhaps created from many astute observations, is still a subjective opinion. My opinion (as well as all the other guys opinions) are objective. We are primary sources. that makes what

[ravvo99]

Say be "fact" or as close to fact as can be. Simply because you need to understand stuff like this as spectrums. Guys will feel every way possible, and you want to see how many feel one way vs another. I've tried to represent that in my comment. I don't feel you even tried to acknowledge that 1) its a specturm or 2) that the opinions of guys in a "what do guys thing" question should have more weight than yours. This isn't a gender thing, this is a subjective vs objective opinion matter.

[ravvo99]

Hey. No need to get twisted up over this. I'm just defending proper logical argument here. you used arguments which are logical fallacies. I have enough training in logic to not let that sort of stufff go by without being a bit of a pain. Sure its obscure, but it keeps everyone's comments honest and anchored to what they actually said and how they said it.

[peace-love-couture]

Yea,bye,couldn't care less to read anything else you post.Everyone else is wrong but you.Bye

[ravvo99]

...it's as if you're reading an entirely different thread than I am....

[Cyhhgg]

I would've gave up. Lol seriously. reading the discourse between you and her made me want to rake a cheese grater to my face

[archer86]

When I was young and stupid, all I really wanted was two boobs, a pretty face and a pokie-bun between her legs for my personal pleasures. As I grew older and wiser, I quickly realized that personality is what is most important. What man wants a woman who is nothing more than Hell-On-A-Broom? I don't care how hot a woman is, I have nothing for A BITCH! There were times I preferred the chuncky chick or the ulgy chick with a splendid personality over the other girls who were hotter and...well...wackos. Appearance only goes so far.

Personality counts mostly for older men. The one exception is only if it's for sex and sex only. Even counting for that, we just can't F**K a witch...ruins the mood

[Jonny_]

I wrote an article entirely about this, and how it works... It's on here if you look under my articles on my profile. For the record, smart girls are the only ones who interest me, as dumb girls can't talk about anything I find remotely interesting. It's dumb girls who are the boring ones. My current girlfriend and most of my exs are very smart and they were attractive. So stereotyping doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be brutally honest and I think most if not all guys can agree.If a girl is attractive and seen as attractive by ourselves and our friends,we can overlook the personality.Looks are what attracts two people to one another,but us guys are visual,we don't have to emotionally connect or talk or communicate to be happy with our partners.Yes an attractive girl will always be chosen over the ugly girl even if the ugly girl has the best personality in the world.And playing dumb can be cute and a turn on

[cobain4u]

honestly no personality doesn't matter, we will try to change our personality to better fit the girl we are trying to get. we will lie and say we like some of the same things you do or have the same values as you if it means there's a chance with you. just being honest. and any guy who says other wise is just being a white knight and trying to look better then the rest off us for the same reason

[GPeta]

No way!

Listen to me. Personality is the most important. I haven't met a girl I couldn't hook up with, but I didn't. Guess why? They were boring/dumb. The best guys, cool caring attractive care much more about personality than superficial features.
Then again I'm not trying to say looks mean nothing. You gotta take care of yourself. Groom, wear nice clothes, be healthy.

[Anonymous]

"Guys are visual so we are automatically attracted to the attractive women.Plus,it can be cute when a girl plays dumb.An attractive dumb girl will always be chosen over an ugly smart girl...maybe you're not attractive as you say you are"

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People agreed with me,so I am correct 100%

[cutekid]

Once you re pretty,and v a nice body,Most Guys dnt really care about a girls personality or background,..

[peace-love-couture]

At least you're honest damn

[DaBiggestBird]

The spiritually handicapped ones yes. Same goes for girls. This is a two way railroad.

[Timkingioo]

of course we care, but only as soon as you are hot. and if you are not sexy then yes you are doomed to date losers

[Asker]

I imagine you aren't too much of a winner

[Timkingioo]

I'm sorry for being so confronting

[Anonymous]

to be honest if you're good looking guys won't care about your personality

[Anonymous]

Personality is a bonus,isn't a must but definitely a bonus

[Anonymous]

There are still some people who do.