Guys, Why do guys not care?

[Anonymous]

Why do you act like you don’t care? It would feel so much better If you showed that you cared. If my man even looks at an other woman I bite his head off (because I don’t want him to feel anything for an other woman) but if I do something like that. He acts like he doesn’t care. He says he thinks I don’t look which I guess is right because I don’t want him to feel the way I feel when he does it. But if I do it he acts like nothing happened. I dont get it. If you don’t care about what I do why be with me? I feel like I’m just a random person looking at a random person. I don’t care if other guys look but of course I’m gonna care if he does because I care about him. But if I do it a get nothing. The looking is just an example.

[JacobJordan]

Because we don't care. If you want to look look. If you want to do something do it. We just won't bother waiting around for you we will move onto the next. My wife doesn't look at other people but she always tells me when women are checking me out or flirting with me because i can't tell. I don't look at anyone else either but i know people look at her. Thing is i have nothing to worry about. So if she looks at other people or starts taking interest i know to move on. At the end of the day i have interest in fighting for something not wanted. So if she wants out she's out.

[Anonymous]

Control technique. He's a fkboy. I'm 1 too, and I've used that on girls I'm with before. When I first get together with em I know I'm gonna do it, so I drop a line casually about having taken karate so they won't try to slap my face when I act like your boyfriend does. I can see em kinda go 😕😕bcuz some suspect I'm a fkboy. I don't really know any at all though, just don't wanna end up slapped like the rest. I already know when we go out and some cute chick goes by, either her cute face is gonna make me go 😲😲or if she's thick and wearing tights I'm gonna look down quick at that big butt and legs in em with my jaw dropped down. It's just control.

[Asker]

Yea his not like that. He’s more the romantic type. Not that sexual. Which I love about him. you just seem very different from what he acts like. Also the point of the question was far from your answer.

[ColHathi]

As long as I'm assured that my partner only wants me, then I don't mind if she happens to look at other guys, or if she looks at porn or whatever, and I would hope that I could give my partner the same feeling of security. I don't want her to feel jealous, but at some point you also need to be able to trust that your partner won't want to cheat or be with someone else. If you don't trust them, what are you doing with them?

[Asker]

It’s not about the looking specifically. But if I do something that upsets him he acts like he doesn’t care. Pretty sure I could cheat at this point and he’d just go without saying a word. (Obviously not going to do that but it’s like i don’t matter)

[ColHathi]

... right 🤔 Yeah that does sound weird. I'd be bothered too. Maybe it's like what Billlewis said in his comment, and your boyfriend's just grown up with this mindset of not caring? Is he that blasé about everything?

[Asker]

I’d think he treats me like he treats other people. He has some stuff that ig he will get really mad about (not about me but general stuff) honestly I don’t know. It’s just weird. I feel like it’s been like that before too like it’s something I’ve seen in guys multiple times not all the time but I’ve seen it. And it just seems like his over it in a way. And I don’t want to be mad or fight. But also don’t do shady stuff you know… and I get that he can not fight sometime, couse same, it gets frustrating and thats not how we really are but I also can’t live the rest of my life like this so we have to fix it somehow. But I also can’t talk to him about it because then he thinks I want to fight etc etc I don’t k ow I’m saying a lot of stuff

[ColHathi]

Right :/ That's gotta be frustrating.

[Asker]

It is

[genericname85]

exactly what is the point of "biting his head off" when he looks at another woman? i think in answering the question, you will understand that it's not that "he doesn't care" butt that more likely you're having trust issues or insecurity.

like if my girlfriend looked at another guy, i'd know she's with me and i trust her. so why get mad? what's the point of being mad? don't take your feelings for set in stone. question them.

[Asker]

Because I care about him and I don’t want to share in anyway shape or form. We’re both kind of jealous but in both our different ways. I try to respect what he is jealous of which I think I do pretty well. But when it comes to what I need it gets blown off. I don’t want to be the only one compromising and he can just do what he wants. I don’t feel like I have any insecurities when it comes to this. If I’m with my friends and we’re out and they look beautiful I don’t care. It’s only if he is there and there are other girls around I’ll feel some type of way.

[Asker]

Also it’s not about the looking that’s not the point

[spartan55]

Then, what is the point?

[genericname85]

why does him looking at another woman make you worry that you have to share?

[Asker]

@spartan55 ai ai ai I’m asking about why he isn’t showing interest and caring.

[genericname85]

that's the classical mind reader expectations. why do you expect him to magically know how you want him to "show interest"?

[spartan55]

@asker
In other words, why isn't he acting like a jealous lunatic...

[BoopBoopBeep]

You sound exhausting. If you're biting my head off how long do you expect me to care about anything you do?

[Asker]

I’m not with you so you don’t have to worry about that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Neither is he soon enough.

[Asker]

Aiai I’m secure in that he won’t shear or leave maybe if you read the question properly you would see it’s not about the looking it’s about feeling like he does t care. If you need it with a teaspoon. I’m the start I’ll get annoyed and then it will escalate to being disrespectful. And that pisses me off. Looking is something that has been normalized that I don’t agree with. Especially when I try my best to not do things that upset him out of love but then when he does the opposite of me it makes me feel like there is no love because he doesn’t seem to try or care.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Just because he's physically there doesn't mean he hasn't emotionally checked out. You think he doesn't care because he's an emotional adult. Eventually he actually won't care because he's not an insecure harpy like you are, and he'll get tired of putting up with your attitude.

[Asker]

How would you know 😂that’s not the problem we’re facing. He is most definitely there emotionally. It seems like Billewis is more on the right track. I think it’s something we’ll figure out we just have to talk about it. It’s frustrating but it’s not that deep that we’ll have to break up. And I must say from this short interaction I’ve had with you today. I don’t think you should be giving relationships advice.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Billlewis is a smart guy. You're probably going to do well listening to him. I believe relationships can be work, I don't think they should be a chore. From this short interaction I've had with you today, I don't think you should be in a relationship. See how that goes?

[Billlewis]

Thanks very much, Sir.

[Asker]

Again. I’m not taking your advise….

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm not giving a refund...

[Asker]

I didn’t pay

[BoopBoopBeep]

That explains why the check didn't clear

[Billlewis]

One reason for that is because we've been pressured by society to not be overly emotional or attentive.

[Asker]

Oki but why does he keep doing the same things that hurt me k owing that he hurts me if it also hurts him the same but his suppressing it. Bad formulation of words but I hope you get it.

[Anonymous]

Why do guys not care? Or why does he not care? Because they're two totally different questions.

[Asker]

Guys

[Opinion Owner]

OK, well if they're NOT partners yet it's because he doesn't want to give away too much of his art. If they are partners it's one of 2 reasons. 1. He knows he has her. Guys have to earn a woman's interest and he usually can tell when he has it. When ahe's made an emotional bond with him. So he knows he has control at this point because she won't want to break that bond. So he can slack of and look at other women. And 2. From start point go he knew she was more into him then he was into her. You see this from women all the time on this site asking "how do I hey a guy to do this". And you want to tell them "be worthy in his eyes". If a guy doesn't see you on his level he's going to consider you an option not a priority.

[Asker]

No I do t think it’s earthed of this.

[Opinion Owner]

Can I tell you with 100% certainty this is why? No. But based on the women that come on this site and ask this question I'm giving you the highest probability reason.
Guys find women attractive, even good guys. But when a guy LOVES a woman the volume gets turned down on all other women. Which means he's less likely to look. Even if he does he's appreciating her beauty, but that doesn't men he's looking at her the way he does his partner. Now if you want to assume this is the reason instead that's fine. Again, I was only giving you the highest probability answer based on all the information.

[Asker]

It’s really not about the looking it was just an example. Also it doesn’t seem to. E the highest probability answer because it doesn’t fit in to our relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

I said the highest probability based on the women that come to this site. Most women that come to this site are very toxic and have toxic relationships. If it doesn't apply to you that is why. I don't know you and I don't know him. All I can do is go off the info provided. Here's what I do know. Having a problem and pretending there isn't a problem does not fix the problem or make the problem go away. If you want help we'll try to help. But doing that starts by being honest with yourself. If you don't want to to do that don't waste our time. If you are doing that then consider the possibility that you don't really have a problem and you are you making a deal out of something that really isn't a deal.

[Asker]

I just don’t know where to start. I don’t think you fully understood what I’m saying. Also with all due respect it just sounds like you’re talking about you. And what you think it would be if you were in the same situation.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think anyone ever fully understands what you are saying with all due respect.
I'm getting off this ride. Have a nice day.🙂

[admles]

" If my man even looks at an other woman I bite his head off " - you need help.

[Asker]

No it’s just frustrating when your limits are broken again and again. I try not to do things that upset him but when it comes to what I need it’s like it doesn’t matter.

[Roudyrebel8]

Some of us do care. Not all of us are jerks

[Asker]

Good to hear

[Roudyrebel8]

I'll agree that most of us are jerks but there are guys who still know how to treat a woman with respect

[Anonymous]

I cared once. I can't care ever again.