Working with an ex? Stay or quit?

Question

Long story short, I dated my ex for quite a white. We recently started working together about 5 months ago. Our boss is always traveling so my ex is technically my "boss", although he doesn't message me to get things done. I do my work on my own. Anyway, he broke up with me two weeks ago because he didn't want to deal with having a girlfriend so he ended things over text. As much as i want closure, I realized it comes from within so im dealing with shit on my own. So, I still see him like once a week, today he brought my check. We had a nice conversation, but when I left I felt crazy, as if I wanted more of a drug, I couldn't get enough. I texted and called making excuses for him to come back and see me. Later I calmed down. Although I'm making good money should i quit this job? Will i ever get over my ex if I have to keep seeing and communicating with him for work? I have another potential job that I might get, but it's not secured. My ex is basically my boss but i dont see him everyday, won't things get messy and complicated? He wanted me to give him a month notice before I do leave.. I dont know what to do.

southernhoneybee · Accepted Answer

You will get over him. I went through the same thing. I didn't deal with him unless I absolutely had to. Keep all communication to a minimum. I saw him, I'd speak and go on. I never held a grudge. It hurt though because he cheated on me and I had to look him in the face. i cried yes but I knew better than to go back to him because i knew i deserved better. Outside of work hours I hung out with close friends and family to get over it. I clung harder to my faith. I wouldn't leave my job especially if i really enjoyed it. You can't go through life running away from your issues. You have to face them head on. It will be hard but it's possible. I hope this helps hun!

asdfghjkl_821 · Accepted Answer

Wait a while. Give yourself a month or so to see if you can get over him, while you do that start looking for a potential job, start a back up plan. Once a month passes and you still feel you need space from him and your quality of life isn’t what you want it to be, leave.

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

Spare yourself a lot of pain, effort and drama and get another job. You two are over and any time you spend together, even in a professional setting, will deter you from healing and moving on. You'll always be stuck if you don't get another job and move forward.

MysteriousDarkness · Accepted Answer

I feel that the only reason you are thinking of leaving your job is because your manager who was your boyfriend broke up with you two weeks ago. You two have been there for five months. You do not see him everyday but some times you go out of your way to make excuses to see him. You have not once said he tries to make it uncomfortable for you at work. It seems like you are making it uncomfortable for yourself. He did not want to be in a relationship anymore so he did you a favor by breaking up with you instead of making you believe he still wanted you by staying. If you stay at your job or quit it is up to you since it is your life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My ex dated behind my back, affair then wondered how to keep her pension, family/church halos and be blessed when changing horses (he also looking for a divorce from a gal wanting no kids, thus not his family's fav anymore). So she took divorce lawyer's wife advice = tell everyone he's (me) not the choir boy you've known for years = He Hit Me! at a holiday party = why leaving him. The "discover" this nice guy interested in you later on.

Work with her? NO THANKS

Fool me once, shame on you (ex)
Fool me twice, shame on ME !!!
This ice, gal... QUIT so time invested will be in no more dead ends

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

Don't loose your job just because of him. Be at your best girl. I know you might want that guy back and you can't resist. But remember. If he does break up with you with a text he sure doesn't care about you. Just be happy. Try to work hard and maybe one day , you will be hid boss. Dont give up just because of him , and you barely see him. Think about it. If you quit , you show him that he has power over you and he affects you. Try to spend your free time doing something you like and one day you will meet a nice guy when you dont expect it.

ItsMeYPJ · Answer

It's best to keep private and work seperated. Since you're working in the same company it can influence your efficiency at work and cause at least a negative atmosphere around you two which others will start to feel as well.

It's not a reason to quit, but you should if you don't want anything regarding in love with him to close the chapter clearly.

Drifter83UK · Answer

You need to learn to compartmentalise. At work you should remain professional, what you do in your own time is your choice. Stop living in fear and learn to move on. Whether your way of moving on is quitting or gritting your teeth is your call. Quitting is easy, gritting your teeth a lot harder to do.
Weigh up your options, draw up the pros and cons, make a decision.

HurtBae911 · Answer

Fuck that dude. You need to focus on making your money. If your job is paying you good, then you keep working there until you find something better. However if you do feel uncomfortable still and chose to leave now , you need to start lining up other amazing potential jobs that will pay you better or the same you are same as now. You don’t want to regret quitting your job and have nothing to fall back on

Jzeorgie · Answer

Well, If you can't keep your emotions in check when you are at work then it is better for you to leave. Because, for the reason that you are at work and not some highschool drama show. And since you are not in an everyday contact, you should keep your head cool and focus on your work. It's only complicated on your head. So, better go for the another job. Except if you can keep your emotions in check and your mind cool.

Anonymous · Answer

Do. Not. Quit. Your. Job. It’s going to take time but that feeling will pass. Just do your job and things will be fine. I once worked with an ex for a year after we broke up. He tried to talk to me everyday that whole year. I never spoke to him. I actually pretended he didn’t exist. I mean he would stand directly in front of me and talk. I would just look through him. He never gave up though. Lol until he left. Don’t do that. It was super childish of me

Anonymous · Answer

Staying or quitting is your choice. If you love doing your job or you a nice paycheck, then you can stay if you want. But if the reason is that your ex is bothering and affecting your work, then the answer is up to you. Seeing your ex in the same place for several days in a week is quite hard to deal with, especially if you still feel something for him. It wouldn't be messy and complicated. We make things complicated for us. If you want to hear a vlosure from him then do so. Sometimes closures can help you sort things out of your mind. And it looks like you still have feelings for him, but if you really love him, his happiness would matter to you and if he was happier with you when you were dating, then you can go after him how much you want to but if you know that he just wants to deal with things without you, let him have his space.

bakugou · Answer

Honestly i think ur making him uneasy and i think he is a kind guy cuz he broke up with u before things got messy and he wants u to stay professional not personal with him

Mrblueballs42 · Answer

Its a conflict of interest. Right now your ok. But he can turn things nasty or you can say something or slip words you will regret.
Never good to work for an ex or with them. It also isn't good to obsess over then either. Never a good idea to be close to an ex.
my experience is a let down to think I could even be my exs friend.
Wish you the best but think leaving and having another job lined up would be good for you.

JenRose23 · Answer

So I have a similar and I almost transferred colleges do to it. So my best advice is say no. I know it's super hard. Especially when Kesha's word Love is a drug is so true in this case. That's so hard cuz you can't block his number since he is your boss. Also, my therapist tells me this all the time: We DON'T need CLOSURE we like it.

If you want to text him. Text a friend instead. Or write the text in an empty text so u can't send it. That's so annoying you can't block him.

jdarnell1109 · Answer

Don't let it interrupt your life. Stay and work on making yourself a better employee. Only talk to him about work related stuff. Even if you feel yourself wanting to, don't. I worked with an ex for about a year that I was with for 8 years. I just ignored her unless it was specifically about work. I just chatted with every one else. Don't flirt with other guys just to get back at him, if you like some one else then sure, go right ahead. Don't let him effect your life in the slightest. Quitting is just avoiding the problem. Moving on is the solution. Be confident in who you are and what you have to offer and walk right past his ass and tell him you don't have time to chat. It shouldn't get messy, he's higher up the company ladder and had more at risk than you.

smrthomson · Answer

If you love tge pay then stay they wise f him f every thiing and leave pack your bag and out you go in the real world but if stay there then he miight come bakk to youu😀😀 (Thats if you wanna gve him an other chance, loll😀)😀😀

shyguy2896 · Answer

Search for a new job before you quit and dont date people you work with

srai6562 · Answer

Hey.. untill u get g gud n safe job do it continue.. but wen u'll have d opportunity to swicth the job den u should move on.. nd keep trying to get the new job.. but first f all u shud see dat r u comfortable in ur current office or not.. if it kills u day by day den please move on completly 😊

MrDiscord · Answer

Unless your ex is making your work life difficult, you should stay and wait for the other position. Please note that office romance although it is not illegal, it might cause huge problems should anything go sideways. Try to keep your relationship with him completely professional.

mrirkre4y4u · Answer

So you have mentioned it to him and he needs a. month to replace you. Talk to your real boss if he or she seems like the type to get it.. Make sure of your standing with re real boss first. He's knows how it would be difficult to train a replacement if need be. When you get to. The problem partway you r leaving or thinking bout. make sure to emphasize the harm for the whole office not how it hurts you as much. If he doesn't fix it then gdoood bye

rittersport41 · Answer

Be strong and get over it... dont let this ruin the rest of ur life... if u deal with this now, ull become stronger even better fit for another relationship

britpop · Answer

Leave but don't leave until you have secured another job

askmegirlagain · Answer

If you are strong enough may be you can continue but it rarely works out. Some sort of confrontation is on the cards.

kristen_dillard · Answer

stay, because that shows how mature you are and how strong you are. just breathe trust me i’m sorta in a similar situation

MeganForreal · Answer

Just stay its your job your life. Just try to get over him

1nittol3arn · Answer

Stay there until you find another job. I would look for another one if I were you. This is why dating a coworker is a bad idea. I've gotten burnt like that too. It sucked.

NotIceBear · Answer

Not too good leaving your job because of a bad relationship, but if it's causing you distress, then it might save you some sanity haha

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If you like the job stay. Or at least try staying for 3 more months. Ifby then you're not neutral towards your ex, look for a new job.

Greatcat · Answer

give the notice and get out of there, then you can be at peace. Otherwise it will be very, very difficult, not impossible mind you but just difficult

pleasestopthis · Answer

Are you willing to be jobless because of an ex? If you're confident about finding a better job, go ahead.

CandacePerry · Answer

I have 5 ex boyfriend in my college I learn that their were too younger for me. stay or leave. It you're ife. keep friendship only at college now. keep my romance privet.

Eskandra · Answer

If he is the boss sure quit but if he is a worker sure not

bulbbapet · Answer

Everything will pass at some point. Question is when. And about the new job. Try to decide after you are sure what you really want.

Pluto4prez · Answer

Just keep things professional. It only gets messy and complicated if you let it. Keep control of your own career.

soccerking · Answer

Start dating other people, hopefully you will realize there is "other fish in the sea." Good jobs aren't always as easy as finding someone else to hold your thoughts

Anonymous · Answer

This isn't about your job. Don't give it up, it won't help, you'll just he avoiding your actual problems. YOU. NEED. TO. MOVE. ON. And you'll have to do that whether in your current job or in a new one

Chancetowin · Answer

Stay where you are and keep dating new people. You will eventually get over him and feel like it's his loss. Hell, make him jealous if you want to. Lol

Anonymous · Answer

Never leave ur job for ur ex.. stay of course an try to keep urself busy and try to be friends with him trust me it’ll be way better especially if there is complications

Anonymous · Answer

Darling, I think it's time to move on. He clearly does not want to be with you but he will probably take the slightest chance to sleep with you if he sees you around. As for the job, money is not important for your life, health is, so I would start looking for a new job, update your cv and when you get the chance just accept a new offer.

A new job will bring new friends and different social life, you will eventually forget about your ex, the sooner the better.

DaisaApril · Answer

Be the strong woman you are and stay there because leaving only makes him feel like you are weak towards you.

Chaoseverywhere · Answer

This is why you don't date at work... for most people :)

Steveram9 · Answer

Oh fuck that's the hardest situation I have ever lived... And quit from the work was the solution for me

Gingerbreak · Answer

Secure the other job, or see if you could move to a different location

pedroski100 · Answer

Worked with a long term girlfriend for a few years which worked o. k for both of us. Admittedly she worked upstairs in the office and I on the shop floor. It works if you keep home and business life separate and dont spend too much time together.

AquaBoo · Answer

I agree with @pman24. You should stay at your job. And then on your own time rip him a new one.

hello_kitty_man · Answer

Well I would suggest looking for another job. And make sure you secure new employment. Then quit.

pman24 · Answer

On both your private time. Go over to his place and rip him a new one. Stay at your work and be a kick ass imployee.

73424 · Answer

If you have to ask, you should probably quit. Just make sure you have a fallback job...

num2allday · Answer

Do you keep ya job code that's money seeing him and understanding your not together will help you get over him push come to shove ignore him and most important forgive him

sam055 · Answer

Be clear and stay in job. Why would u quite because of someone who is ex now

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Stay... I had class with my Ex before and it was miserable but I got over it

valerie_weirdo · Answer

Stay, if u leave he'll probably think u still like him and u couldn't stand to work with him cuz u like him still

aries79 · Answer

Focus on ur work when you find a nother guy that will keep you busy on him bb

ram13 · Answer

Quit , it doesn't get better if there is no change.

Alexis102901 · Answer

Depends how long you work there. I don’t work I am in School.

vinaygupta · Answer

Don't quite the job... he will take care of u in all da bad situation

tastetherainbow619 · Answer

I’d stay unless I hated him.

Christianlukey · Answer

I'd leave get something better though

Holden_D_Znuts · Answer

If you like the job, stay.

TheOg · Answer

I couldn't do it, unless they paid me a fortune.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Quit

chrisv · Answer

Quit. Today. Quit now...

Yesnomaybe85 · Answer

Should have never fished off the company pier

unbound760 · Answer

Try explaining that on a resume...

Working with an ex? Stay or quit?

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