He’s ignored me for 3 days. Now he texts. Do I text back or wait a bit longer?

[AnberlinCanucks]

Need some advice.

I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months. Things were going great and on Friday, his grandma was admitted to hospital. He text that he’s gonna be lonely and should call someone. We started joking around about how he should shower and shave for when the college girls arrive because “college girls are always ready to go”.

Before I go on, we CONSTANTLY joke and tease each other about there being other girls and other guys. But we know we are the other’s only. We have not put a relationship label on it yet. It’s just not the right timing for either of us.

I text back that I’ve been ready to go for weeks and it’s not my fault he chose not to take advantage. I said this in a joking manner but it pissed him off. He wrote back that there are things more important than sex. I asked what. He said life.

And then he stopped speaking to me. It took 24 hours and me asking how his grandma was twice before I asked if I said or did something to upset him. He said my comment pissed him off and that was the last thing he said to me Saturday night. It was right after I secretly dropped off flowers to his grandma.

I text one last time Saturday night to say Good night like always. No response. We did not speak at all yesterday and we have talked all day every day since the night we met. I didn’t even text Good night last night. Just let him be. He has known from the start that I HATE Kindergarten games like silent treatment. I’m a grown adult and I work my shit out.

Lo and behold... half an hour ago, he text me Good Morning, as if he hasn’t spent the last 3 days ignoring me.

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I haven’t answered yet. I’m not sure if I should. On one hand, I don’t want him thinking I’ve been waiting by my phone to hear from him. On the other hand, I don’t want him thinking I’m okay with the silent treatment and will come running back every time like a desperate little girl. Cuz I won’t. But then I just think about how hard his grandma being sick must be. He lost his mom a few years ago and before all of this went down, he mentioned it feels like losing his mom all over again. (He was 4

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months in with his last girlfriend when his mom passed so I can see how it would be triggering.)

What should I do?

Message him back now or keep leaving him in limbo for a response? I’m definitely going to let him know I won’t tolerate silent treatment again. That the next time he needs space, just tell me and I have zero problem giving it. When the time is right though.

[esparc]

Hospital trips are hectic, he could've forgotten his phone. Hell I do that all the time just when I leave the house.

Hospital trips are also extremely stressful, I've had times when I didn't want to answer the phone or text anyone too. Hell my dad died last year after two months in the hospital for heart issues.

I do know how you feel though about the silent treatment, I hate it too. Last time I was subjected to it, I raised hell and that was just over being muted (for a misunderstanding) on Xbox Live. Of course that was years ago and I worked it out.

[legendary_gladiator]

Just respect him. He is probably going through a lot. Obviously I would be easily pissed even at small things if my family member was sick. Support him. Make him feel good. He needs it more than you know and more than he shows. Believe me, I have been in the same situation. But i had no one to talk to. These situations are devastating. Never let him feel that he is alone. Cheers.

[AnberlinCanucks]

I ended up messaging him. Asked how he was holding up and how his grandma was doing. We made small talk about food and World Cup and that I was waiting for the gas company to come hook up my meter before getting a bag of Tostitos to go with tonight’s chili dinner. Mentioned I’d also be sending my neighbour for smokes cuz I’m on my last pack and recovering from surgery. Sent a pic of the gas company in my backyard, walked through my living room to my door open and him standing there with smokes and Tostitos. He didn’t stay cuz he was going to the hospital to see his grandma but we’re still talking now. Think we’ll be okay. I’m going to wait until his grandma is home and healthy and then discuss the silent treatment thing with him when he’s over next.

[legendary_gladiator]

Yeah

[Anonymous]

Don’t ignore him for 24 hours, maybe just an hour or two since you said you don’t like playing games - I’d lead by example there. But don’t let him off the hook too easily either, respond and be willing to talk and have fun like you normally do to get him in a good mood before you broach it, but don’t just brush it under the table either, you two need to work it out rather than hold little resentments.

[TrixiePooch]

Joking about sex with someone you are not intimate with is bad taste, like teasing. It would be better to just come out and say "Let's do it" instead of joking about it. Obviously he either agrees with that or was totally stressed out and not himself. Either way it seems like you were not considered an item with him. I would say give it a rest.

[AnberlinCanucks]

We’ve been having sex with each other since the third day after we met

[TrixiePooch]

Must be stress then.

[Slackster]

If he's in his late 20's or early 30's i'd say he's quite emotional and childish.
If he can't handle a joke and gives you
the silent treatment just because of a joke or a bit of teasing, i can't imagine it would be very fun to be in a relationship with a person like that.

I would at least think about if i wanted to be in a relationship with someone who behaves like that.

But that's just my personal opinion.

[dropkicknj13]

Well I'm glad he is so accepting of our side relationship lol

You should text him back and just ask how his grandma is again, no banter or small talk. You don't want to give him the silent treatment right back, but you also don't wanna act like you aren't annoyed

[Drumlin2001]

Stop playing games.
He got annoyed at you at time when his emotions would have been heightened due to his family issues. He didn't need banter at that point he needed understanding. You're not doing either of you any favours, and at the moment it swem like you who is acting immaturely. Speak to him, if you want to raise a point about the silebt treatment, wait till his circumstances are better, otherwise just drop it

[Anonymous]

People need to learn how to let things go, recognize red flags, and ego led behaviour. This relationship will just go through the same pattern again and again. Look up egoic relationships Ekhart tolle, it's pretty much the same behaviour and a waste of your time.

[NYCQuestions1976]

You were ill, is grandmother is ill, and he lost his mom only a few years ago. Cut him some slack and say "Good Morning".

[Steve37]

He's acting like a child. If he's not ready for a relationship, you shouldn't put your life on hold waiting for him. You shouldn't ghost him, but don't turn away other opportunities.

[Steve37]

If he shuts you out everytime be had a tough issue in his life, that's not a good sign. That's when he should be coming to you for support. I'm not trying to be mean, but it sounds like your relationship is something for his convenience and when he has other things to do, he puts you on the back burner.

[Dr_Latex_McPeggin]

It’s tough, but if you care for him, I would just let it go because of the stress of what was going on. If it ever happened again, then I would lay down the law...